im Page 879 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Winter Olympic Mascots Are ... Yeaagh! What The Hell? ...
Inspired by Native American tales of creatures that will claw children's eyes out if they don't behave, please welcome the new Winter Olympic mascots, Quatchi, Miga and Sumi! The Games are a mere 2 1/2 years from now, so these charming critters need to get right to work, doing, um, whatever it is th...
Bill Simmons Finally Clocks A Full Day Of Work
We know, online public opinion has shifted on the guy a bit, but we still like Bill Simmons' chats on ESPN. The guy's pretty quick — even if he's just falling back on the usual schtick, it's comfortable, reliable schtick — and, back before he signed his big ESPN Owns My Soul contract, he used to sne...
Perhaps It's Time To Let Eli Manning Go
OK, let's all just get together and agree on this, so we don't have to unduly pick on the guy: Eli Manning isn't any good. Like, at all. Obviously, his last name has offered him "potential" status long past the expiration date, but we think all of us, along with Eli himself, would be a lot happier i...
Remember, Only YOU Can Make 'Toine An All-Star
Maj announced the Vote 'Toine campaign last weekend, but I felt it beared repeating: Antoine Walker needs to be an All-Star. I mean we're talking about 10.6 points per game here, people. 1.5 assists. Over 55% from the free-throw line! He's danced with Michael Jackson; starred in numerous cinematic ...
Mr. Testicle Is The Bo Jackson Of Mascots
Well, 100 Percent Injury Rate has dug up more videos of Mr. Testicle in action. Can we create him as a Madden character? The problem is that he's so good at sports now that he's pressured to improve and keep up with the rest of his competitors. That's all fine and good, of course, except that leads ...
Well, Our Weekend Is Planned
When you say that USA Today doesn't bring the serious, in-depth news coverage, I counter with this recent headline: Mexican Dwarfs Seek Respect In Bullfighting. I accept your apology. Seriously, how could your day not turn out great when it starts with that headline in your e-mail inbox?...
Al Davis Is Not At All Insane
We thought you should know that Al Davis stated recently that he will not retire until the Oakland Raiders win two more Super Bowls. We're not saying that it may take a few years, but we did immediately think of this photo. "Al, if you want a two tight end set, beep twice. For a running play, beep o...
In A Year, He'll Invade And Occupy Columbus, Georgia
Nick Saban was supposed to be the savior for Alabama football — and hey, the Dolphins sure have taken off since he left — but the team has collapsed down the stretch, losing their last three games, including last week's home loss to Louisiana-Monroe. Fortunately, Saban has been able to keep the loss...
Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 3
I don't know if this qualifies for today's Hugh, but during last night's Nevada-Hawaii game, I couldn't control my laughter everytime the color guy said "WAC Offensive Player of the Week." -efelde84 (screen grab via FanIQ)...
You Can Make Antoine Walker an All Star Again!
Some enterprising internetters over on the RealGM message boards have hatched a plan to corner the NBA All Star voting market involving cookies (not the kind you throw or use to torture). I'm a moron so I don't really understand all of their Internet Explorer speak but I have deduced that they are q...
The Last Chapter Of The Aubrey Huff Saga
Just to wrap up this whole Aubrey Huff and naked people business (NSFW), here's one last shot, of everybody's favorite porny Oriole, with the charming Melissa Midwest (also NSFW). Godspeed, Mr. Huff: We bet now, even you can find some place to party in Baltimore after 9 p.m....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your favorite t-shirt commits suicide in the dryer ... • College football: Oregon at Arizona. Ducks march toward a royal screwing when they hand out the bowl bids. [ESPN] • College basketball: 2K Sports College Hoops Classic, semifinals, at New York, Connecticut vs. Gardner-Webb; Me...
The Fish That Could Be An Offensive Lineman
We consider fishing a sport, though we're not sure why; we're generally pleased to classify pretty much anything a sport, because everything's better when it's competitive. So, therefore, a terrifyingly huge freaking fish....
Aubrey Huff Admires "Works Of Art"
Yesterday, we told you about Aubrey Huff's appearance on "Bubba The Love Sponge." He played it off as just "kidding around," playing a role on a radio show. That would be one way to put it....
Like Playmakers, But, You Know, NICER
Despite the pleas of Bill Simmons, we've never watched "Friday Night Lights." We're not sure why; maybe we just have too much television in our lives already. Anyway, the show's ratings still aren't improving, and if the writers ever get back to work, the show is expected to be canceled by NBC. But ...
Everyone Opens Up To Bubba The Love Sponge
Orioles Professional Hitter Aubrey Huff wouldn't seem like the type of guy who would let himself cut loose and act crazy on the radio, but hey, take a bat out of a man's hands, and he's liable to do some crazy things....
The Gripping Ravens Quarterback Controversy
Say what you will about how bad Steve McNair has been this year … but it sure beats Kyle Boller. For Ravens fans, we can't imagine how depressing this sideline cutaway must be....