im Page 881 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night...
What you missed while trying to win that lifetime of free beer prize ... • MLB: Oh yeah? More like Lost-o Carmona! Guffaw! • College Football: I'd say that Auburn ought to do more thinking and Les Miles. • Hey look, Boston! Gagne comes through in extras! Oh ... the hockey one....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while coming to grips with a gay Dumbledore... • 8 p.m. — MLB: ALCS, Game 6: Cleveland Indians at Boston Red Sox. Curt Schilling was last seen asking Harvey Firestein for a Josh Beckett mask. [FOX] • 8 p.m. — College football: Michigan at Illinois. Maybe if the Illini weren't always fi...

Isiah Thomas Remains A Genius
This is a few days old, but we can't let it pass unremarked. It appears Isiah Thomas has the same firm grasp of his roster as he always has....

Who's The Next Person To Get Banned From Monday Night Football
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Live Blogging The Torre Press Conference
In a perfect, imaginary universe, Joe Torre would just go off today. His press conference, which is starting any minute now, will most likely feature Torre looking bemused and tired, giving "his side" of the story....

ESPN Anchors Feel The Burn
You know, we always imagined that Richard Simmons just hung out in Bristol all the time, sort of an unofficial mascot. We imagine him fetching Nachos for Van Pelt and really getting on Trey Wingo's nerves....

Jimmy Kimmel Doesn't See What All The Fuss Is About
After his appearance on "Monday Night Football" earlier this week, Jimmy Kimmel has been banned from the program. This is supposed to be a punishment?...

Tim McCarver Is Bucking Conventional Wisdom
Obviously, the work of Tim McCarver has long been discussed in the most reverential manner. But his whopper from last night has everyone abuzz today....

When Assimilation Goes Wrong: Negro NASCAR
You may remember The Assimilated Negro from his Negro Bowl I coverage for us last year. He returns to us to discuss NASCAR's odd decision to try to Negro-ize their sport....

Derek Jeter > Daniel LaRusso?
Yesterday's Derek Jeter post got me a little nostalgic for the greatest teenage karate movie ever made, and I wasn't really sure why. Until just now....

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights
The E-Ticket section on ESPN.com has always been one of the stronger elements of the site, and the show, while occasionally lapsing into the same soft-focus weeper segments that permeate Chris Connelly's "reports," trades off it well. Jeremy Schaap's Cecil Fielder story was fascinating; it was hard ...

It's True: The Red Sox Have Become The Yankees
The kewpie doll this morning goes to commenters Chad Sexington (who provided us with this wonderfully ironic photo (and this animated GIF) and, especially, Fiddling While Jim Rome Burns, who came up with a theory that just might explain what's happening to the Red Sox right now. He calls it The Keki...

Behold The Wonder That Is Tim Wakefield
The man you see in this picture, about to knuckle that wildly bouncing arrow into the leg of the man standing next to him, is Tim Wakefield. He has been with the Red Sox since 1995 and has ridden all the postseason waves that have surrounded the team during that time. And tonight, he has to save th...

MNF Still Haunts Joe Theismann's Corpse
Kimmel's quote: "And we welcome Joe Theismann watching from his living room with steam coming out of his ears." You know, we wouldn't mind seeing that, actually....

Derek Jeter Takes Care Of His Ladies
If you needed any more proof that the life of an athlete is infinitely better than yours — and, surely, you did — witness this tale from Miami, involving Derek Jeter, two woman and the Parking Validation That Never Came....