im Page 899 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Keep Her Away From The Stanford Tree!
This virtual lady here is "Crimson Hawk," a comic book/graphic novel heroine who is "the world's sexiest, most powerful, and most frequently defeated, humiliated and ravished superheroine." (Link NSFW.) She's the only known existence of the "Crimson Hawk" name occurring in the popular lexicon, save ...
The First 2006 Baseball Recap Book Is Out
Of all the sports we cover around these here parts, it's probably pretty obvious to you that our favorite, the one that warms our cockles the most, is baseball. We pretty much buy every baseball book we can find, particularly around this time of year, when it's cold and we miss the game the most. A ...
What Good Is Having A Younger Brother If You Can't Do This?
We weren't there, but we imagine that this was pretty much every day in the Manning family backyard, circa 1985. The small, helmeted figure, crawling in a stupor after smashing into a large object ... that would be Eli, and it really would explain a lot to current New York Giants fans....
Days Of Blunder
In a move that we liken to John Glenn falling out of the teacup ride at Disneyland, NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson broke his wrist on Friday when he fell out of a golf cart during a celebrity golf tournament in Florida....
Your Shirt Will Keep Score For You
So here's a novel concept: Currently some "researchers" at Australia's University of Sydney are working on a basketball jersey that will compile your stats for you while you're on the floor....
Eddie Griffin's Criminal Climax
Because we are nothing if not thorough, digging down so deep into a story that we can't imagine how to get out, doggedly pursuing every subplot until the thread is bare, we return you today to the story of Timberwolves forward Eddie Griffin. As you might remember, Mr. Griffin was arrested for crashi...
Jeffrey Maier Wants To Return And Screw Over The Orioles Again
You might remember that Jeffrey Maier, the infamous Yankees fan who might have cost the Orioles a win in the 1996 American League Championship Series, was hoping to be selected in the amateur draft earlier this year. Well, it didn't quite happen the way he wanted, so now, at the Winter Meetings — ...
Thank God For Crack
I bet you saw that headline and thought this post was about Michael Irvin, didn't you? But it's not. It's a story about an alligator and a crackead, and just in case things don't go the Gators' way later on today, I'd like to present you this story, where the gator did win. At least for a little whi...
Bengals Love A Rainy Night
We're not sure when the Bengals defense suddenly got all uppity, but jeez, that could be an entirely different team all of a sudden. In the Bengals' 13-7 win over the Ravens last night, the Cincy defense almost threw another shutout, their second in a row, and staved off the Ravens' attempt to cli...
Bengals Receivers Takes Their Antics To Basic Cable
We promise to someday stop bitching about this — probably when the season ends — but once again, we, as Time Warner Cable subscribers, will not be able to watch tonight's Bengals-Ravens game, because it's on the NFL Network, and even though we somehow get the Al Gore slacker news channel, we don't g...
Welcome To The Romo Bandwagon Express, With No Stops Until Jan. 20
With Steve Silverman's love note to Tony Romo on MSNBC this morning, let the worship of the Dallas quarterback officially begin. Not that it started with Silverman by any means — Madden has been giving Romo verbal backrubs for more than a month now. But we're just wondering if America is ready for t...
Sometimes, We Just Learn A Bit Too Much
We know, we're soulless ironists, not connected to the problems of the everyday world, except to mock them. We accept your scorn, and we probably deserve it....
The Snow Is Finally Here, And The Playoffs Aren't Far Behind
For all the talk of Brett Favre and Matt Hasselbeck and a dogged night from Shaun Alexander, the main impression we took from last night's MNF Seahawks' win over the Packers was: SNOW! Screw Thanksgiving: We know the holidays are really upon us when it's snowing real hard and people are falling over...
Eli Manning Would Just Like To Go Home Now
After yesterday afternoon's installment in the weekly drama of the Eli Manning Swath Of Destruction, one thing seems rather clear: The Giants quarterback just doesn't seem to be enjoying football very much. This probably shouldn't be much of a surprise, considering his father and older brother have ...
"Hey, Dean, I Sent You A Trade"
In case you missed it, Bill Simmons — pictured here in one of the countless "Dude, my bros back at the Pike house are NEVER gonna believe I got a picture with the Sports Guy!" photos sprinkled about the Internets — is playing in that Celebrity Fantasy League on NBA.com again this year. He won the ...
The Last OJ Post We'll Do Until He Confesses Again
As we wrap up Day 2 of the OJ Isn't Going To Tell Us How He Killed Those People era — by the way, is it just us, or was Mike Lupica unusually fired up about this? — we must, rather than be forced to watch Fox, go back to the parlor game of ... well, whatever we were doing with O.J. before. The blog ...
Naked Smart People!
Because nothing's better than an Ivy League streaker, here's video of a guy somehow making it onto the field of The Big Game last Saturday between Harvard and Yale....
The NASCAR School Of Parenting
I'd have warned you about the profanity in there, but this video is too awesome for me to have dissuaded you in any way from watching it. I think my favorite part is when the child, around the 1:40 mark, is desperate for some fatherly affection; some sort of sign that indicates that there's a small ...
Dodgers Release Crack Smuggling Minor Leaguer
Kengshill Scheider Pujols is a minor league pitcher with the Vero Beach Dodgers, and the man stuffed 118 bags of crack cocaine into his underwear. The unfortunate thing about it is that he didn't even wait for "Stuff Bags of Crack-Cocaine in Your Underwear" night at Vero Beach, and almost certainly ...
It's A Nice Week To Be Zach Randolph's Lawyer
Zach Randolph's being sued... again. This time by Portland resident Robert Bacote, who accuses Randolph and Qyntel Woods of assaulting and harassing him because they believed he was the guy who alerted authorities to Qyntel Woods' charming dogfighting hobby....