im Page 904 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cycling, Swimming And Running, Oh My!
You know, it's hard enough to finish a triathlon. We think we could handle the biking, and as long as we were allowed to occasionally walk, or even stop and lie down for a while, we could handle the running. We'd almost certainly drown, however. Anyway, imagine going through all the trouble of bei...

Visiting The Scene Of His Namesake's "Crime"
What do you do when your real name is Mike Cooper — but you're not that Mike Cooper — and you've found your MySpace page inexplicably inundated over the last month or so?...

A Short Note On The Royals
It's the sentence we never thought we'd live to hear. But there it was, just sitting there in the notes column of the Kansas City Star's Royals gamer on Sunday. It is at once awesome in its randomness, and frightening for the images it conjures. Even more terrifying: we know that someone, somewher...

Sklar Brothers Lightly Jab Back At Simmons
We've been having some fun with the Sklar brothers of late, but it does appear that this feud we've finally discovered between them and Bill Simmons has been going on for a while. Well, perhaps "feud" is the wrong word. But it has definitely become heated, as heated as anything can become in the o...

Where's The Love For Jered Weaver?
The headline on SI.com this morning reads, Weaver-Mania hits LA. As well it should: Jered Weaver won his seventh straight start on Sunday for the Angels ... that's seven career starts, and seven wins. Not since Fernando Valenzuela started 8-0 as a rookie for the Dodgers in 1981 has something like ...

Finally, YouTube Of Monday-Cooper, Part II
We know, it's a week-and-a-half old now, but we never did get a hold of YouTube of the gripping finale of the Carl Monday-Mike Cooper saga, and it has been nagging us, since we this whole thing started from YouTube anyway....

A Bengal Gets The Taser
In their ongoing quest to become Blazers East, the Cincinnati Bengals have seen another member of their football team get arrested. And DT Matthias Askew has done it in grand style, somehow managing to get tasered after a parking violation. I am applauding politely....

Reggie Bush Doesn't Care About Black People
Because the people of New Orleans haven't been through enough, Reggie Bush and his agent are threatening to sit out the season and re-enter the 2007 NFL Draft. Saints training camp opens up on Thursday, and Bush isn't likely to be there. He might stop by for a quick photo op, but he won't actuall...

Over The Line? Yes, I'd Say So
There's a sporting event going on in San Diego this weekend that's described here in the LA Times as "a beer-fueled nudity fest." It's a tournament for a game called "Over-the-Line," which is kind of like softball, but weird. The rules state that... ah, who am I kidding, you haven't been able to c...

Boyz N The U
There was some drama on The U's campus yesterday, as Hurricanes safety Willie Cooper was shot in the ass. His roommate and teammate, Brandon Meriweather, in a move that would make Ray Lewis proud, then "pulled a pistol from his pants pocket and fired three times at the person," according to the AP...

The Careful Way To Wedding Plan
With the first leg of the wedding season behind us and the next — in the September range, we think — someone finally asks a perfectly legitimate question: When is an appropriate time to have a wedding without getting in the way of appropriate sports viewing time?...

Get Drunk With ESPN
We've been waiting for someone to come up with a definitive ESPN drinking game, and even though this might not be the definitive one, it's pretty close. Here's a fun "Pardon The Interruption" sampling:...

It's Good To Be Jimmy Johnson
Every year or so, former Cowboys and Dolphins coach Jimmy Johnson is forced to deny rumors that he's returning to coaching, usually with some sort of "I'm having too much fun relaxing on my boat!" response that does little to squash talk....

Only A Matter Of Time Before This Becomes An Olympic Sport, You Know
It is at once Carl Monday's worst nightmare, and everyone else's dream come true. On August 5, hundreds of people will gather in a hall in central London to, um, pleasure themselves for charity. We only wish we were kidding about the UK's first "masturbate-a-thon," in which contestants — both men ...

The True Nature Of Bo's Tecmo Dominance
From our old friends at Kissing Suzy Kolber comes this rather classic video of showing just how great Bo Jackson was on Tecmo Bowl. It's a quarter-long touchdown run. This almost certainly happened to us repeatedly as a child....

One Final Monday-Cooper Explosion ... Be Ready
So if you're like us and you spend your weekends doing everything you can to avoid the computer, you might not know about this yet. So we feel like maybe you should sit down. Take a deep breath. You might not be ready....

Cowboys Safety Keith Davis Shot
Dallas Cowboys safety Keith Davis is recovering from two gunshot wounds sustained last night during a drive-by shooting on a Dallas highway. His condition is listed as stable, and despite being shot in the head and in the thigh, his injuries aren't considering life-threatening....

"One Shining Moment," It Is Not
Let's see... How do I go about explaning this to you. I, um... well... it's a song, that comes courtesy of Kentucky Sports Radio. It's a song written by the man pictured to your right, and... well, if you tried to imagine a song written and performed by that guy pictured to your right, it would so...

So Much For A Colorblind Society
The Baltimore Orioles were set to have a Brian Roberts bobblehead giveaway today, but there was a bit of a snafu. 20,000 bobbleheads showed up on their doorstep, and they opened them to find that the Brian Roberts doll had much darker skin than the actul Brian Roberts....

It Just Keeps Giving
I'm afraid I gave you only part of the story with the earlier Mike Cooper post. Carl Monday has gotten himself involved again, and where there's Carl Monday, there's more story....