im Page 903 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Raccoons On Reign Of Terror
Most any parent with an older teenaged child knows the drill. First comes that phone call at midnight from a downtown police precinct, notifying you that there has been a mishap with your car. Then comes the question: How did our son/daughter get the keys? Now the Tennessee Titans front office can r...

Hasim Rahman, Great American Hero
There's a big fight tonight on pay-per-view. Hasim Rahman, the only American boxer that still holds a heavyweight title, fights for American pride against Oleg Maskaev....

Keith Hamilton Swings A Mean Surge Protector
Former Giants defensive tackle Keith Hamilton believes in an odd method of disciplining his children. Some parents will go for the "time-out," some will go for a routine spanking, some might make you put a quarter in a jar every time you swear. But if you're Keith Hamilton's kid, and you come home w...

Judge Makes The Bold Move Of Questioning Maurice Clarett's Mental Health
The latest news in the Maurice Clarett situation isn't that he's being required to undergo a mental health evaluation. The news is that he doesn't think he needs one. When the judge ordered the evaluation, Clarett scoffed at him. He was later quoted as saying, "I clearly understand everything, and...

It's A General Manager Blood Feud!
We don't mean to imply that when you're screwed over by Washington Nationals GM Jim Bowden, it might be time to re-evaluate one's career choices, but ......

"Unfortunately, We Don't Have That Tape Either"
From the "Boom Goes The Dynamite" file comes this decade-old but new-to-us clip of a Quincy, Ill. CBS affiliate....

The Most Famous Buzzsaw Cheerleader
So here's the best story we've heard all day, even though it's only new to us. If any of you out there, like us, religiously watch "The Office" — we even watch the repeats — you're familiar with Phyllis, the portly saleswoman who knits and is happy in love with Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration....

Free Darko, Live On Scene, And Loving Jim Gray
Generally speaking, we think it's silly for online writers — who are the only ones free from the PR/press pass/everybody-play-nice circle jerk of commercialized athletics — to salivate over press passes as if they had, at last, been invited to the ball. But we will make an exception when the folks f...

Steelers + Motorcycles = Bad News
Jealous of all the attention devoted to Ben Roethlisberger and his motorcycle, Steelers offensive lineman Barrett Brooks took to the streets last night. He "drove recklessly around a police car," which is never a good idea....

Evidently, Larry Flynt Is In The Basketball Court Painting Business
I'm a little disappointed in myself that I didn't notice this. What you are looking at is the court on which Team USA drubbed Puerto Rico last night in an exhibition basketball game. And, as was noted at sethgunderson.com, the lane looks a little... well, penile....

Gentlemen, Start Your Wanking
Right now Carl Monday is snapping down the protective visor on his riot helmet, scrambling into the back of the WKYC Action News van and yelling "Let's roll!" Yes, the big Masturbate-A-Thon is tomorrow,* which, if you live in Europe, still leaves you plenty of time to get to Drop Studios in London...

"You Want Me To Do That With You?"
The mad geniuses at Free Darko aren't taking the summer off: They're finding absolute gems like this video, which features Timberwolves superstar Kevin Garnett gets his Bob Harris on while visiting an Asian television show....

Your Bill Simmons-A-Matic
The folks at Chicago Sports Review have come up with a nifty applet: Your opportunity to write your own Bill Simmons column. It's like a mad lib, but it's actually pretty ingenious how they've put it together. It takes a while to fill out, but it's kind of worth it. Here's the first three paragrap...

Wanted: One Huge NY Giants Fan
If you're looking to score a sweet New York Giants season ticket, take a look at this from Craig's List, and act fast. Only one catch: You must wear a sumo wrestler-style fat suit for each game. It seems that the "Fat Suit Fans" are down one member and are looking for a replacement. Other caveats in...

Jim Bowden Knows When To Hold 'Em
So the big story of yesterday's trade deadline, as tends to be the case, turned out to be what not happened: Washington Nationals general manager Jim Bowden hung on to impending free agent Alfonso Soriano rather than flipping for prospects, or cash, or beans, or whatever. Because the Natinoals are...

In Praise Of A Happy Hit Streak
Little known rule around Deadspin world headquarters: When a hitting streak — one of our favorite baseball occurrences — reaches 30 games, we are obliged to honor the achievement with its own post. Therefore, congratulations to Phillies second baseman Chase Utley — his name sounds like one of the ...

Jimmy Kimmel Would You Like To Watch Those Hands, Buddy
A reader sends in this picture from Sports Illustrated's All-Star Game photo gallery. In case you can't tell by the personalized jersey, that's Harold Reynolds giving a big ole hug to Sarah Silverman, extremely funny comic and reason every Jewish single male in the country has a dart board with Jimm...

Could This Be The NFL's First Lady?
Yesterday, the NFL announced its final five candidates to succeed Paul Tagliabue as NFL commissioner. The list includes the favorite, Roger Goodell, who started as an intern in 1982, as well as lawyers and executives. Tagliabue is retiring in August....

The WSOP Rolls On...
It's Day 1C at the World Series of poker, and I still can't find any evidence of Bill Simmons have played a hand yet. He must be in the field tomorrow, though I'd like to think that he was somehow responsible for Louie Anderson's profane outbursts. Some notes, arranged in handy bulleted lists:...

It's Not Easy For Canadians To Win Golf Clubs
So here's something funny and obscure that a reader just pointed out to us. This week, Sports Illustrated subscribers — like ourselves — were treated to a special promotion with Callaway Golf. Basically, you send in a contest card, and if you win, you get a X460 Driver and two X Fairway Woods. We ...