im Page 911 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If Only This Would Happen On The Words "Boo-Yah"
We didn't watch too much Nickelodeon as a kid, if just because we were constantly being sent outside to mow the lawn. Pretty much everyone we know was weaned on it, though, particularly that show "You Can't Do That On Television," where they dumped the green slime on you every time you said "I Don...

She's Alive! Alive!
Not to start the week off with bad karma or anything, but we couldn't help but point out Kansas All-Conference softball shortstop ... Destiny Frankenstein....

Strap on the Old, um, Feedbag and Check Out 'Footballers Wives'
If you haven't already been watching the british import Footballers Wives, then it might be time to finally pop for premium cable. Of course the "football" here means "soccer", for you nonmetropolitan types. Thanks to our man Tim Goodman, the TV writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, we discovere...

Arena Football. Outdoor Life Network. Irony.
The Arena Football League has found a new home on cable TV. The Outdoor Life Network, which I don't get, has signed a deal to pick up some Arena football games this season when NBC has other things going on, like hockey or the Winter Olympics. The deal was announced on Friday, and there's a game o...

Elsewhere...
• Reads the caption: "Michelle Kwan was named one of People Magazine's '50 Most Beautiful People' in 2000." And here's her nipple. Or, as I like to call it, Kwannipple....

We'd Also Try To Get Our Parents To Do Less Drugs While Pregnant
On the radio show Coast to Coast with George Noory last night was one of our favorite guests — John Titor, a gentleman who claims that he is a time traveler from the year 2036. Of course, the mind reels with the possibilities. What is happening in the distant future of 30 years from now? Is the se...

Commemorating Great Disasters
From the fine fratty lads at Thrillist comes an amusing collection of "novelty" T-shirts inspired by sports' lowest moments, or, at the very least, their most embarrassing....

Poll: Isiah Wins, But It's Closer Than You Think
Well, the results are in from our poll about a theoretical (for now) fight between Isiah Thomas and Bill Simmons, and, well, we're rather shocked: You give Simmons a lot better chance of winning this duel than we possibly could have though. Out of Deadspin readers, 46.2 percent of you think Simmo...

Isiah Thomas. Bill Simmons. Quien Es Mas Macho?
In one of those stories that almost seem too good to be true around here, it appears that good ole' Bill Simmons has been threatened by Knicks general "manager" Isiah Thomas on — of all things — Stephen A. Smith's radio show. In his newest "More Cowbell" post, a Simmons reader writes in:...

The Pain Of Kevin Garnett's Adidas Commercial
If you're like us, you're thoroughly depressed by the Kevin Garnett Adidas commercials running right now, specifically the "standup comedy" segment, which makes Garnett look like, as Free Darko puts it, "the loneliest man alive."...

Brett Favre's 2005 Continues to Suck
2005 wasn't an easy year for Brett Favre. It started off with that whole Javon Walker contract dispute, then detriorated into a miserable season in which basically his whole team got injured, his coach got fired and more insistence from NFL fans that he just hang it up. And in the middle of all th...

Poll Results: Super-Size New Mexico!
You have spoken, dear readers, and it's perhaps little surprise that you'd be most afraid to run into Marcus "New Mexico" Vick at your local McDonald's. You know what's cool, though? He has a THUG LIFE tattoo across his McRib....

Poll: Whom Do You Least Want To Run Into At McDonald's?
We still haven't quite come to terms with the bat-shit crazy weirdness of Marcus "New Mexico" Vick whipping out a gun at McDonald's the day after he declared for the NFL Draft, but it did get us to thinking: We haven't been to McDonald's for a long, long time. At first, we thought it was because w...

NFL Playoff Roundup: Riiiiipppppp!
• Honestly, we know this was covered all weekend, but man, that Carson Palmer thing was the worst playoff moment we can remember. We think Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have it tough; Bengals fans finally get in the playoffs, and two plays in, their Pro Bowl QB tears an ACL and MCL. (Quest...

Maurice Clarett's Experienced Defense Team
Today's Maurice Clarett update: The "troubled" — that is to say, "known for pretty much everything other than being a football player — posted a $50,000 bond to be released after his charges of aggravated robbery. We'll put aside for a moment how a guy with little discernible income over the last ...

A Match Made In ... Well, In Detroit
We were marvelling this morning at the potential news: Matt Millen and the Detroit Lions are bringing in former Saints coach Jim Haslett for a job interview. We don't necessarily think that hiring Haslett would bring the Fire Millen crowd much closer to dragging the guy out of his house and having...

Palmeiro Gets His Family Circus On
Remember during the steroid trials, when Sammy Sosa inexplicably forgot how to speak english? Rafael Palmeiro, albeit a few months late, apparently is trying to same tactic....

Jim Mora, Blowin' Up!
Four days after his outburst following the Falcons' playoff hopes-ending loss to Tampa Bay last week, Atlanta coach Jim Mora Jr. is still doing damage control. In case you missed it, Mora, doing a radio interview with the Falcons' affiliate after the game, flipped out after being asked about a que...

The Good News is He Still Has the Beard
Former major league closer turned bumbling armed robber, Jeff Reardon, has stated that the reason for his bizarre behavior was due to medication he's been taking for depression.(Point for Tom Cruise.)...

When Bearded Closers Attack
If you haven't checked in with former Red Sox/Expos/Twins closer Jeff Reardon for a while, well, jeez, why would you? Apparently, though, Mr. Reardon has had a bit of a hard time of it lately....