in Page 1707 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Anthony Davis Might Not Play Again This Season, For The Most Bullcrap Of Reasons
The Pelicans are already moving on from Anthony Davis. Dell Demps might be stuck in the denial phase—he is reportedly “not picking up the phone” to field incoming trade inquiries—but the team has already yanked Davis out of their standard pregame hype video, and pulled his image from their Twitter p...
Patrick Peterson: Upon Second Thought, I Shall Ride The Towering Assberg
Back in October, with his horrid Cardinals stuck at 1–6 and playing like a gigantic ass that was pooped out by an even larger ass, Pro Bowl cornerback Patrick Peterson reached the end of his rope and demanded a trade, sending word through Adam Schefter that he “desperately” wanted a change of scener...
Let's Remember Some Guys: Mullets-Only Edition
If your hair does not touch your shoulders or your hair falls into your eyes, sorry, but you will not be featured on today’s episode of Let’s Remember Some Guys....
Here Is A Delightful Anecdote From Cameron Jordan About The Browns Being Incompetent
Now, everyone knows that former Cal defensive lineman Cameron Jordan was selected with the 24th overall pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. What the Tom Heckert/Pat Shurmur–era Browns presupposed at the time was....maybe he wasn’t?...
Tottenham Are A Fairy Tale In Search Of A Happy Ending
When will Spurs quit messing around and finally win something? That is the question flying around North London like an arrow aimed at Mauricio Pochettino and Tottenham’s upper-management this week after the club fell out of both domestic cup competitions, succumbing to the injury crisis even the mos...
Does Figure Skating Really Need Age Minimums?<em></em>
This weekend in Detroit, Alysa Liu won the senior ladies national title. Yet despite that, Liu won’t be competing at the 2019 world championships in Saitama, Japan. Those berths will go to second and third place finishers, Bradie Tennell and Mariah Bell. Disqualifying Liu is the fact that she’s 13 y...
The Skins Heard You Love Rob Ryan So They Put A Rob Ryan In Your Rob Ryan
Earlier today, Washington’s football team named Rob Ryan its inside linebackers coach. Linebacking is a skill that cannot be coached by just one man! They announced the hiring of the longtime NFL defensive coordinator with a press release and a tweet. The latter is what I’m interested in here....
D'Angelo Russell And The Brooklyn Nets Are Actually Good Now
Quick: what’s the biggest joke of the decade in the NBA? If you answered, “the New York Knicks,” fine, I’ll give you that. But most people would answer, “that damn Brooklyn Nets-Boston Celtics trade,” and most people would be correct....
An Interview With The Local TV Producer Fired For A Graphic Calling Tom Brady A "Known Cheater"
Michael Telek is a 27-year-old news producer who, until yesterday, worked for the CBS affiliate KDKA in Pittsburgh. He was fired after a Super Bowl news segment used a chyron that labeled Tom Brady as a “known cheater.” As was obvious to pretty much everyone, the graphic was a joke—and not inaccurat...
Once Again, Neymar Might Be Fucked
For Neymar, the events of the past week must feel like an especially haunting instance of déjà vu. Once again, the Paris Saint-Germain superstar came up lame in the middle of a match after a not especially horrific clash. Once again, further tests revealed the injury to be worse than it first seemed...
Joel Embiid, Who Is Joel Embiid: “I’m Joel, Joel Embiid”
The Sixers routed the LeBron-less Lakers last night, 121-105. It was kind of a weird game for Philly. Jimmy Butler played point guard. Ben Simmons played power forward. One thing was the same: Kendall Jenner was in attendance, improving the Sixers’ record to 12-2 when she’s there. ...
Zavier Simpson's Skyhook Is One Of The Seven Wonders Of The World
Michigan junior point guard Zavier Simpson picked up only the sixth triple-double in school history on Tuesday night, and of all opponents, he did it in a win against Ohio State. Zavier (formerly Xavier) notched 11 points, 12 assists, zero turnovers, and—most astonishingly for a guy who’s only liste...
Proud Hockey Parents Mark Son's First Professional Fight By Coming Nowhere Close On Celebratory High Five
Late in the second period of Tuesday night’s Jets-Bruins game, Bruins youngster Trent Frederic threw down with Jets wing Brandon Tanev. Tanev, perhaps lulled into a false sense of security by Frederic’s apple cheeks and youthful complexion, was truly not at all ready for the hands:...
Sergei Bobrovsky Gives Good Lesson On How Not To Play Goaltender<em></em>
The Sabres and Blue Jackets are mostly back from the all-star break tonight, but Columbus is still waiting on goaltender Sergei Bobrovsky to return from his vacation. In Bobrovsky’s defense, facing top Buffalo goal-scorer Jeff Skinner on a breakaway is nobody’s idea of “easing back into it,” but the...
NHL Suspends Predators' Austin Watson For "Ongoing Issues With Alcohol Abuse"
Nashville Predators forward Austin Watson has been suspended indefinitely without pay by the NHL, and has entered the second stage of the league’s substance abuse program, for “ongoing issues with alcohol abuse.” ...
Bad Soccer Manager Suspended Five Months For Headbutting The Everloving Shit Out Of Opposing Coach<em></em>
Giancarlo Favarin manages Italian third-tier club Lucchese. During a match against Alessandria on Sunday, he found himself in a spat with an assistant coach on the opposing side. In an effort to settle the dispute, Favarin rammed his massive, shiny forehead straight through the assistant’s nose:...
NBA Fines Anthony Davis For Self-Tampering In Public, Alarming Onlookers<em></em>
ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reported Monday that the NBA was investigating Pelicans center Anthony Davis for self-tampering in front of God and everyone. Davis expressing (through his agent) the desire to be traded, on and all over the record, scandalized the Pelicans to the point that the team put ou...
Andy Murray Shares Status Updates On His Hip, Dong<em></em>
Andy Murray announced today that he is recovering from a hip resurfacing, which will hopefully relieve the chronic hip pain that is forcing him into a sad, untimely retirement. The surgery involves shaving down the end of the femur and coating it in cobalt chromium metal so that it can move smoothl...
Pro Cyclist Fined By Argentinian Police For Sexually Harassing Waitress During Photo Op
Veteran Belgian pro cyclist Iljo Keisse and his Deceuninck-QuickStep team are in Argentina for the early-season Vuelta a San Juan, and they have had an eventful past two days. Shortly after his teammate Julian Alaphilippe won the second stage of the race, Keisse found himself in trouble with local p...
Has Trump Seen Jared Naked?
Today we’re talking about Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, and more....