in Page 2089 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Big Strong Santa Will Get You Feeling Festive
You wanna see a guy who looks like Santa Claus deadlift 650 pounds while some EDM-inflected Christmas music plays in the background? Hell yeah you do!...
Yaya Touré Catches Drunk Driving Rap After Unwittingly Drinking Spiked Diet Coke
It was a surprise to many to learn that Yaya Touré had been charged with drunk driving a few weeks ago, seeing as the Manchester City midfielder famously doesn’t drink alcohol. We now know that all of this caught Touré himself similarly unaware, as he didn’t even know he had been drinking the night...
What Does The U.S. Department Of Energy Do?
The Department of Energy (DOE) is a Cabinet-level department in the United States government, created in 1977. It is a descendant of—and consolidates the functions of—several predecessor agencies, among them the Energy Research and Development Administration (ERDA), which was itself a descendant of ...
Triple H: Donald Trump Is Unclear On Whether Wrestling Is Real<em></em>
Back in 2007, WWE ran a storyline that culminated with CEO Vince McMahon being blown up in a limo. You don’t need me to tell you that McMahon is still alive and was not actually blown to pieces, because you aren’t a moron who thinks wrestling is real. Apparently, the same cannot be said for our futu...
Steaming Mad Luke Walton Curses Out Officials After Ejection
It took fewer than eight minutes for Luke Walton to turn into a profane, suit-wearing Daffy Duck and blow his top tonight at Monty McCutcheon and his officiating crew over a missed call. Walton was infuriated after bit of wrestling from DeMarcus Cousins, and he teed off on McCutcheon for a considera...
Rick Perry's Glasses Qualify Him For Important Science Post, Building Nukes<em></em><em></em>
Rick Perry, a swaggering idiot who found a pair of glasses on the street one day, is about to become the head of the Department of Energy, according to CBS News. The Department of Energy’s job right now is to develop the next generation of nuclear weapons. What this means practically speaking, of co...
MLB To Ban Bullying And Hazing In New CBA
Major League Baseball and its players union are set to ratify a new collective bargaining agreement tomorrow that includes a section banning hazing. The proposal specifically bans rituals that require, “dressing up as women or wearing costumes that may be offensive to individuals based on their race...
Shea McClellin Pulled Off A Perfect Leap Over The Ravens' Offensive Line
Malcolm Butler made a perfect deflection on third down to put the Ravens’ best player (kicker Justin Tucker) on the field for a 34-yard field goal attempt. Tucker missed his first field goal attempt of the year on the attempt, but it was through no fault of his own. Patriots linebacker Shea McClelli...
Stanford Band Accuses University Of Sanitizing Them To Protect School's "Well-Manicured Image"
The Stanford Band was recently suspended until the spring of 2017. They’ll now miss most of the basketball season, but it could have been much worse, as a university conduct board recommended that they be suspended for the whole year....
Nike Joins The Quest For A Sub Two-Hour Marathon
In a brilliant height-of-the-Christmas-sales-season marketing move, Nike announced via two breathless press releases, in Runner’s World and Wired, that they are entering the sub two-hour marathon game. ...
WMU Basketball Player Charged With Murdering Fellow Student
At around 10:30 p.m. on Dec. 8, Kalamazoo police responded to a report of a shooting near the campus of Western Michigan University. They arrived to find 19-year-old WMU student Jacob Ryan Jones dead, and a day later they arrested 20-year-old WMU basketball player Joeviair Kennedy as part of a felon...
Deadspin Up All Night: Flawless
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I’m with some flawless bitches because they be mobbin’ pretty....
My Combo Of The Year
It’s time to announce my combo of the year. ...
Bills Fan Destroys Table, His Own Leg<em></em>
If you’re going to jump through a rickety piece of furniture—a bad idea to begin with, but for the sake of this hypothetical, go with it—you should not launch feet-first, because unlike a butt or belly, your legs and feet will not properly absorb the impact when flesh meets table, and those parts of...
Cardinals Wide Receiver Michael Floyd Arrested For DUI
According to ArizonaSports.com, Cardinals wide receiver Michael Floyd was arrested on DUI charges in Scottsdale, Ariz. early Monday morning....
Nine Elements Of The LeBron <i>SI </i>Cover Meant To Distract You From His Hairline, Ranked
1. Safety pin on the lapel...
Report: Two Louisville Football Players, One Student Shot At Heisman Party
Two Louisville football players, James Hearns and and Henry Famurewa, and an unidentified female student were shot early Sunday morning at an off-campus party celebrating Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson’s Heisman Trophy victory. The shooting took place around 2:00 a.m. in the Retreat apartment ...
Patrik Laine Slaps Game-Winner, Right Into His Own Net<em></em>
Winnipeg Jets rookie Patrik Laine’s 17 goals in 32 games puts him third overall in scoring this season. After last night’s game against the Edmonton Oilers, he could have moved up a spot, but NHL players don’t get credit for accidental goals on their own net....
Cardell Hayes Found Guilty Of Manslaughter For Killing Will Smith
After five hours of deliberations, a New Orleans jury has convicted Cardell Hayes of manslaughter and attempted manslaughter after a shooting in April that left former Saints star Will Smith dead and Smith’s wife Racquel Smith hospitalized....
Deadspin Up All Night: Cause And Effect
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....