in Page 3303 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Parents: Don't Put Any Goddamn Candy In The Goodie Bag
I go to a lot of children's birthday parties. These parties are virtually identical. You go to a gym, you take off your kid's shoes, you hand your kid over to the 19-year-old girl making $6 an hour and wearing a bright red or blue shirt with the name of the gym on it (PLAY ZONE! GYMTASTIC! BALLS AND...
Clint Dempsey Is Better At Soccer Than You, And Every Other American Ever
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...
A Chronicle Of Doing It: Nike And Destruction
Republished with permission from The Classical....
A Slapshot To The Ear Can Do Some Serious Damage (NSFW)
On Saturday, during an off-day practice in Pittsburgh, Alex Ovechkin took a shot on net. It went high, caromed around off the glass, and struck Matt Hendricks directly in the ear. Above is the "after" picture. The graphic photo below shows the damage: an inch-long gash in the cartilage....
It Sounds Like The Bruins Are Ready To Say Goodbye To Tim Thomas, Free Citizen
When Tim Thomas declined to accompany the Bruins to the White House, he was quick to assure everyone that "this was not about politics." Well, guess what Tim, now it's about something even more important: hockey. ...
This Vancouver Canucks Fan Is Proud To Be Dating An Edmonton Fan
Your morning roundup for Jan. 25, the day we learned oral sex may or may not kill you. Photo via Puck Daddy. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Whatever You're Doing With Your Life, It's Not As Awesome As The Athletes In This Recruiting Video
I don't care where you matriculated, what you studied, or what honors you graduated with. If you didn't go to Benedictine University, your degree is now useless. ...
Larry Nance Jr.'s Jumpman Slam Was The Spitting Image Of Michael Jordan
Michael Jordan's the name most people associate with the NBA Slam Dunk Contest, but few remember it was Larry Nance who won the 1984 inaugural edition of the competition. Nance's son (who had plenty of opportunities as a youth to watch Jordan style over his dad's Cavaliers) now plays for Wyoming a...
The State Of The Union Is Punchy In Front Yards, Trailer Parks And Beyond (NSFW)
Per YouTube uploader kustomcougar, "Cocky neighbor gets his big mouth shut after constant harassment. Then he throws a rock at my brothers truck."...
This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
This week's dong-submission cavalcade starts with Kent B.'s folks's Irish Wolfhound. His name is Presley. He's a good pooch....
Deadspin Up All Night: Gold Stars All Around
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hickey's got a little something quick for you later. Back at it tomorrow....
Recruit Who Tweeted Stuff Like "The Teacher Tells Me When A Girls Squirts That’s Not A Organism" Commits To Colorado
Looks like things worked out for Yuri Wright. The 85th-best recruit in the nation, according to Rivals.com, Wright had been kicked out of Don Bosco Prep (N.J.) last week after his cornucopia of racist, sexist, sexually graphic, and language-mangling tweets became known to the wider world. Michigan,...
Report: Wisconsin's Former Associate AD Resigned Because He Allegedly Groped A Male Subordinate
John Chadima resigned as the associate athletic director at the University of Wisconsin just after returning from the Rose Bowl earlier this month. Turns out he is accused of groping a male subordinate while at a party on that trip, according to what a source told WKOW, a television station in Madi...
Which Will Prince Fielder And Miguel Cabrera Reach First: 600 Combined Homers Or 600 Combined Pounds?
The balance of power in the American League shifted toward Detroit today with the Tigers' surprise signing of Prince Fielder. So did the center of mass....
Bernard Pollard Hopes The Giants "Put A Thrashing" On The Patriots
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Patriot-killer wants New York to finish the job....
The Mystery Team Wins: Prince Fielder Signs With The Tigers
Just five days ago, GM Dave Dombrowski said Prince Fielder was "probably not a good fit" in Detroit. That was after C/DH Victor Martinez went down for the year, but with 1B/3B/DH Miguel Cabrera still under contract through 2015. That's a logjam of immovable objects, though the Tigers have indicated ...
"I Want Barry Melrose To Shoot On Me," And Other Highlights From Linda Cohn's Stint As A Goaltender
Hey, look! It's hockey on SportsCenter!...
This Is What Happens When You Accuse Steven Tyler Of Butchering The National Anthem
Our post Sunday asking whether Steven Tyler's pre-AFC championship performance of the national anthem was the worst ever drew a flood of reader feedback, both in the form of poll responses and in writing. Here's an update on the poll results, as well as a sampling of your reaction to Tyler's perf...
How To Lose Weight Without Wanting To Kill Yourself
I was at the gym this morning and some old British dude started talking to me in the locker room, which is a huge breach of gym locker room protocol and totally freaked me out. Anyway, he's like, "You should watch your feet." And I looked down at my bare feet on the tile floor, and he was like, "Thi...
The Great Duke Attendance Scam
It's not really a scam; that's a sensationalist headline. Just jumping the gun on what will spend all day being a very dumb story. Because it is about Duke, and every story about Duke eventually breaks down to the lowest common denominators of the pro-Duke and anti-Dook factions flinging feces at ea...