in Page 3408 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How To React To Bad Dreams Like A Total Pussy
I had a nightmare the other night. Usually, this isn't anything noteworthy. Everyone has the occasional nightmare, and then shakes it off and goes back to bed. Or masturbates to get the demons out and THEN goes back to bed. Sex cures fear, I tell you....

Nomar Garciaparra Appears To Have Drowned Himself In A Sea Of Cliches
Your morning roundup for Aug. 4, the day Dollywood offered a refund to a couple of lesbians. H/T to Adam for the video clip. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Some People Don't See The Humor In Bears Drinking Vodka For Human Entertainment
Per Reuters Life!, Ukraine's Environment Minister Mykola Zlochevsky told Interfax, "On television, they keep showing bears suffering in restaurants and roadside hotels. How long can we tolerate animal torture in restaurants where drunken guests make bears drink vodka for laughs?"...

Novak Djokovic Performed A Goofy "Little Serbian Dance" With Jay Leno And Katie Holmes Last Night
This video of world No. 1 tennis player Novak Djokovic's appearance on Jay Leno's still-breathing program last night is nine minutes and 15 seconds long. Do yourself a favor: Skip the first seven minutes, to when he starts talking about the celebration that commenced among his team of fellow trave...

Here's Video Of A Brawl During The Dolphin Show At A Russian Oceanarium
We've presented you with a lot of fights and/or boobs for your viewing pleasure. This is probably the first instance of a dolphin-witnessed fracas in an "oceanarium," though. Flipper shouldn't be subjected to this half-assed take on The Outsiders, but we should....

How The Brewers' And Cardinals' Broadcast Crews Reacted To The Ryan Braun Plunking Last Night
The Cardinals plunked the Brewers with a couple clauses of baseball's unwritten rules in an 8-7, extra-inning win last night. After Albert Pujols was hit in the hand by an errant Takashi Saito pitch in the top of the seventh, Cards pitcher Jason Motte twice threw at Ryan Braun, connecting on the s...

This Evening: Anyone Out There Have A Match?
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 3, the day Dick Vitale kissed the pope's ring. H/T to Disco Choo for the photo of Bears rookie Gabe Carimi. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Apparently, Larry Fitzgerald Has Always Wanted To Be A Viking
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: that's what his father says anyway....

Tony La Russa Doesn't Like The Way Brewers Fans Heckle Him
"When they start cursing your family ... The funniest one was a guy said [sic], 'I hope you get shingles again.' That's just stupid." [Post-Dispatch]...

Bug Selig Wants To Chat With A-Rod About His Violent, Cocaine-y Poker Game
Yankee third baseman/centaur Alex Rodriguez has been on the DL since mid-July after knee surgery. His recovery's coming along nicely, but there's new trouble looming: MLB brass wants to ask him about the strange poker game he played in. He might get suspended, ESPN New York reports....

Chinese Italian Soccer Fans As Bad As Italian Soccer Fans
This, via Dirty Tackle, is what happens when an AC Milan fan accidentally wanders into an Inter Milan fan section. It doesn't matter that this is Beijing and not Milan — wearing red and black is a de-kitable offense....

Braylon Edwards May Have Started The Nightclub Brawl He Allegedly Wasn't Involved In
We told you yesterday about free agent wide receiver Braylon Edwards' most recent legal trouble—according to My Fox Detroit, Edwards was on the periphery of a brawl that broke out at a nightclub in Birmingham, Michigan....

A Minor League Team Was Two Feet From Disaster
As the old saying ought to go, nothing good comes from taking a wrong turn to Staten Island....

The Preventable Annual Tradition Of High School Football Deaths
It's that time of year again: when America's high schoolers start dropping dead during football practice. It's become so regular and so common that we can't do anything but shake our heads and move on, as if this is an acceptable rite of passage for youth football as a whole. But these are actual ki...

Ichiro's Doppelganger Tried To Sabotage The Mariners Last Night
Have we not yet learned our lesson, America? Is Bartman's ultimate cautionary tale still not enough? Let the players make their plays. Even if you happen to look eerily similar to one of them....

Yadier Molina Just Wants Someone To Listen To Him
Your morning roundup for Aug. 3, the day we ate zombie meat. Photo via Sports Grid. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Evening: A Team So Funny, We Forgot To Laugh
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 2, the day we tricked you into thinking it was our birthday again. Photo via Slashfilm. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Colin Cowherd Predicts NFL Teams Will Go 268-244 This Year
Cowherd has the entire league 24 games over .500. Such optimism! It's what makes him the best. [ESPN Radio, via Dan Steinberg]...

Dan Snyder Is Now Campaigning Against The Rights Of D.C. Residents To Govern Themselves
Dan Snyder's lawyers yesterday filed a brief in D.C. Superior Court as part of Snyder's dumbass legal jihad against the Washington City Paper. Snyder's lawsuit looks for all the world like a "strategic lawsuit against public participation." Even the ACLU thinks so. Such "SLAPP" suits are deployed by...

You Made Stubby Clapp Angry
There are very few memorable players with just 25 career major league at-bats. And yet, we vividly remember Stubby Clapp from his brief 2001 stint with the Cardinals. What could it have been?...