in Page 3449 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jim Tressel Embarrasses Roger Goodell By Self-Imposing Goodell's Stupid Idea Of Justice
Has there ever been a string of punishments/non-punishments more baffling than Roger Goodell's recent run? Lacking a clear directive but wielding the personal-conduct policy like Zeus's discriminate lightning bolts, no one plays unless the Commish decides he's "ready," and the Commish doesn't have t...

Peyton Manning Will Likely Miss His First Career Start On Sunday
...And probably many more: "As a result of the most recent development the doctors have decided that Peyton will not practice. His participation therefore, in Sunday's game versus Houston will likely be doubtful... As was stated at the outset, it serves no useful purpose to speculate about hypotheti...

Justin Bieber, Like Everyone Else, Is Capable Of Beating Steve Nash Off The Dribble
A few days ago, Justin Bieber shared a video with the world that alleges to show Justin Bieber crossing up Steve Nash. We understand that this is pointless, because Nash regularly allows non-teen pop stars to cross him up (and it doesn't even seem to be recent, as Nash wasn't a part of Ludacris's ...

Ron Artest Has Never Looked More Graceful
Your morning roundup for Sept. 5, the day Arizona (against all odds) got a little bit worse. Photo of Artest at rehearsal via @LakerNation. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Soccer Player Carlos Tevez Checked Himself Into A Clinic Because He Got Depressed And "Ate And Ate"
Today, in totally unexpected ledes, comes this one from the Daily Mail:...

Florida A&M Basketball Player Fatally Stabbed, Apparently By Her Girlfriend
Shannon Washington, an All-American transfer who was expected to play point guard for the Florida A&M University women's basketball team this season, died early today after being stabbed in the neck during an argument in her Tallahassee apartment. A 20-year-old woman visiting her was arrested and c...

I-Team: Who's The "Totally Single Virgin" Who Advertised Her Phone Number At Fenway Park Today?
Sometimes, investigative subjects make tracking them down an easy task for Deadspin's I-Team. Take Blonde with a Nearly Empty Beer and Dark Nail Polish, for instance. If you read the sign closely, you can see she was going for "Call me, I've never seen the Red Sox play before today." So don't read ...

Some Phillies Fans Went To Miami And Interfered With The Marlins Right Fielder
This whole thing happened in the sixth inning of today's Phillies/Marlins game. Hunter Pence of the Phillies hit one to the right-field wall. It may or may not have hit that yellow stripe. We'll never know....

One T-Shirt Stood Out In The West Virginia Crowd
In West Virginia, the Mountaneers/Herd matchup is a big fuckin game. At last check, WVU was down to Marshall 7 to fuckin 3. (H/T Nine tipsters within eight minutes)...

This Week In Unintentional-Dong Submissions
It was a good week for unintentional-dong submissions. There were more that didn't make the cut than those that did. The limbo-stick has been lowered, and the world's the better place because of it....

Weather Forces Evacuation Of Notre Dame Stadium
When the Notre Dame Fighting Irish retreated to the locker room at halftime, they were down 16-0 to Lou Holtz's kid's team. While Coach Brian Kelly was discussing their "performance" in the first half against South Florida, the stadium seating areas were evacuated on account of foul weather....

Usain Bolt Held Back, But Still Made Really Fast People Look Really Slow Again Today
Usain Bolt, that freakishly fast Jamaican guy, ran the fourth fastest 200-meter race in human history at the World Athletic Championships in Daegu, South Korea today. He clocked 19.40 seconds. Only two people have ever run faster. One is named Michael Johnson. The other is named Usain Bolt....

Watch An All-Male Dance Troupe Take The Field At Halftime Of The Saints/Titans Game
When it came to the Saints getting throttled by the Titans in the final preseason game of the year the other night, here's what one guy wrote:...

This Year, You'll Be Able To Get Fresh Ink At Islanders Games
"The Islanders have struck up a partnership with Tattoo Lou's and will be inserting a new shop owned by them into the arena. [Blue Line Station] (H/T Brian B. and Hockey News)...

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
It's the first big college-football Saturday of the season. Yay. No. 18 Ohio State, which lost its The in a haze of Tresselmanic scandal, plays Akron at noon (ESPN). Also at noon on the WWL, No. 23 Auburn hosts Utah State (2) and Northwestern visits Boston College (U)....

Wonder If This TCU Fan Still Wanted Some Loving After His Team Blew A Gigantic Comeback
Your morning roundup for Sept. 3, the day that Dragon Con's Comic Book Babes Costume Contest becomes an Elvira-hosted reality in Atlanta. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Evening: Ronnie Woo Woo Pays His Cable Bill
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 2, the day we discovered pizza on the moon. H/T to Ben for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Today In Unfortunate Headline Apostrophe Placement
From the Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette comes this doubletake-inducing headline on the start of football season. I'm sure it looked all nice and informal and innocuous in the sterile InDesign window, but when it actually gets put in a paper? A 48-point poop joke....

Cockblocked By Peruvian Hallucinogenics!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

We're Sick Of Joe Theismann All Over Again
It's difficult not to pity Redskins fans, who, in addition to being Redskins fans, have to hear Joe Theismann talk about preseason football during preseason television broadcasts. And last night, just after Brandon Banks ended an otherwise splendid punt return by flipping the ball out of his hand ...