in Page 3477 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tour De France, Stage 21: A Bloodless Conclusion To A Bloody Race
The last stage of the Tour de France is designed to make you forget all those times that Grand Tour cyclists come off like persnickety bitches. It's a day of good feelings. A gentleman's agreement obtains whereby no one attacks the yellow jersey, and there's champagne to sip along the first few kilo...

Don't Dream It's Over: Disney Permanently Cancels ESPN: The Weekend
Last week, we mentioned, barely suppressing our glee, that ESPYs ratings had hit their lowest point in 16 years. With similar exuberance, we gave you ESPN's condom-obsessed in-house standards bible. Death knells....

Damn It, You Guys, Jay Cutler Dumped His Fiancée
Look at your hands, Deadspin. See that red stuff? It's blood....

Kansas City's MLS Team Compiled Laughable, Stereotype-Filled Video To Introduce Its Canadian Opponent
This introduction video, via KCKRS, is perhaps the greatest semi-official compilation of cheap Canadian stereotypes known to man....

This Pre-Race Prayer Might Actually Be The Most Redneck Moment In NASCAR History
Perhaps NASCAR, its Nationwide Series especially, looks like an extended redneck highlight reel, but last night's race in Gladeville, TN offered us one of the redneckiest moments you'll ever see. It came in the pre-race prayer—which, I suppose, duh—but we were so riveted that we shall now thank th...

Mike Vick Tweets That He'd Be Honored To Have Favre Back Him Up, Then Tweet Disappears
You'll recall this, Howard Eskin's report that the Eagles might have some interest in bringing the gunslinging kid aboard as a backup in 2011. This scared a lot of us....

The Heat Has Driven Michael Kay And Paul O'Neill Mad
Your morning roundup for July 24, the day our tears dried on their own. See anything worthwhile? Tip your editors. Image via @godzillatimmy2....

Tour De France, Stage 20: The Aussie Gets His Wings
When last we checked in with the Tour, the race had become a bar fight. Many of the big-name riders were broken. Former champ Alberto Contador was mounting suicidal climbing attacks and punching fans. The French guy was throwing tantrums. It was as if the Tour had become an enormous raw nerve. Favor...

Omar Little Will Appear As A Fresh-Out-Of-Prison Biology Professor On Community
Television changed this morning the moment when actor Michael Kenneth Williams stated via Twitter, "For all the community peeps out there it's official look for me in up coming eps." Translation: Omar from The Wire is comin' to NBC's Community. It's nice to see he made it through the whole Kenard ...

Watch Kasey Kahne And His Sprint Car Flip Over The Wall At A World of Outlaws Race
If watching cars drive around in circles at Williams Grove Speedway isn't your thing, fast-forward to 1:15 of this video. The driver emerged unhurt, remarkably enough. (H/T Cosby Sweaters)...

Presenting Your First Photo Of Mr. And Mrs. Ben Roethlisberger
The nuptials have apparently moved from ring-exchange ceremony onto the reception, per the whole #bigbenswedding extravaganza on Twitter. This picture apparently includes the Roethlisbergers and a friend named Mandisa....

Watch A Cop Take A Baseball To The Head At Last Night's Indians/White Sox Game
Tipster Andrew D. was kind enough to share this video of a foul ball deflecting from the stands at Progressive Field in Cleveland onto the dome of a sideline cop. At first, he's on the edge of seething, but then he sees the whimsy of the moment and just goes back to his responsibilities to God, Co...

Today Is The Day That A Reformed Ben Roethlisberger Makes A Physician's Assistant His Bride
Last night, Mr. and (soon-to-be) Mrs. Ben Roethlisberger hosted their wedding rehearsal dinner. The groom wore yellow. The bride smiled broadly in photographs that were released to the local paper before this glorious day commenced in Pittsburgh. Here are some fun facts regarding Allegheny County's...

Everybody Feared The Worst When Old Man Brent Musburger Went Rogue In Vegas For A Spell
Your morning roundup for July 23, the day after we learned that high-school tennis coaches really might want to stay away from strip-club ownership....

This Evening: Stay Inside
Your p.m. roundup for July 22, the day we got stuck in hot tar on the roof. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Your Afternoon Downer
Here are two awful stories from the world of sports to depress yourselves with. [Star Tribune, Denver Post]...

Tour De France, Stage 19: Like A Punch In The Face
Until yesterday, the 2011 Tour de France had been a bit of a drowsy bore (even Lance Armstrong had admitted as much). Then came yesterday's 18th stage when, like a stag party on Day 3 of a Champagne bender, things lurched inexplicably alive. There was a punishing "stuff of legends" solo attack by ga...

Alberto Contador Punches A Heckler, Tour De France Remains Awesome
The carnage at DeathFrance 3000 is not contained to the riders. Today a spectator dressed as a doctor and carrying a blood bag (A reference to his positive drug test at last year's Tour) joined others in running alongside Contador as he tried to make a last-ditch move on the last day in the Alps. ...

Cockblocked By Accessories!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Stay Tuned On Monday For A Strange Tale Of Sexting With Ron Artest
I called Ron Artest shortly after two this afternoon, for the second time. I wanted to talk about dong shots, and a story we're running Monday about a girl with whom he had a sexy-texting relationship. She wrote for us about the bizarre comedy of texting with Ron Artest. She didn't ask us for money,...