in Page 3476 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Matt Cooke Is Suspended 10 Games And The First Playoff Round For His Latest Cheap Shot
It's been just over a month since Matt Cooke's last suspension, so of course he's due for a headshot like this one, which he delivered to Ryan McDonagh in a 5-2 loss to the Rangers last night. Cooke is suspended for the remainder of the season (10 games) and for the first round of the Stanley Cup ...

We Are All Dave McKenna XLVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Padma tells Snyder's dumbass libel suit to pack its knives and go. Today's topic: Dan's weekend in the Big Easy....

Front Row Seats Mean Being Able To Flip Off The Coach Without Dropping Your Baby
This weekend the Ducks beat the Kings just 90 seconds into overtime of the most recent installment of the Freeway Faceoff rivalry. This so enraged a Kings fan that he gave Ducks coach Randy Carlyle, the finger — while holding his infant son in his other arm....

The Funniest 7 Seconds Of Casey The Bullykiller's Big Media Coming-Out Party
Casey Heynes, the Australian schoolboy whose bully beatdown so entertained us last week, went on the local version of A Current Affair. But we much prefer the sitdown interview with Ritchard, the bully, who shows no remorse — until prompted by his offscreen mother or lawyer....

Compiling The Absurd Box Score For <em>Space Jam</em>; Or, Shawn Bradley Sucked Against Cartoons, Too
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today: Space Jam by t...

This Woman Crashed A Car With 54 Bags Of Heroin In Her Vagina
Karin Mackaliunas of Scranton, Pennsylvania could be a character on The Office — if they had a character who stuffs 54 bags of heroin, cash, empty bags, and pills in her vagina and then crashes a car. Bloated much?… [Jalopnik] ...

Watch A Single Hill Completely Wreck A Steady Stream Of Bikers
BUCS (the British Universities and Colleges Sport) held their championships last week, and our favorite sport was the cross country mountain biking. Someone was kind enough to put together a compilation of the best wipeouts on the same downhill section, and we can't top their word choice: carnage....

The Giants' Season Ticket Amnesty And The Tyranny Of Good PR
This broke late last week, but we were too busy paying attention to actual sporting events to deal with it. But we're forced to now, because certain folks in the media won't shut up about how classy the New York Football Giants are for not requiring fans to make their season ticket payments while th...

Blake Griffin Got A Technical On This Dunk And It Was Worth It
We haven't had too much of a Blake-reel on the site ever since he dunked over a car and hyped a football recruit, but here he is. Against Phoenix on Sunday, Blake Griffin took a pass from Mo Williams off the pick-and-roll, threw this dunk over Marcin Gortat's head, and got called for the offensive...

Even Through The Tears, Young Texas Fan Manages A Brave Hook 'Em Horns
Your morning roundup for March 21, the day shots were fired over the price of a Beefy Crunch Burrito....

Donald Sterling Has Seized The "Guy Who Hates Cancer Patients" Label
Several tipsters took it upon themselves to point out a story about then-Los Angeles Clippers assistant coach Kim Hughes's battle with prostate cancer, and how the necessary surgery wasn't covered by the team's medical-insurance plan. There were plenty of stories and posts about it this week. In on...

We Are All Dave McKenna XLV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is judicially spat upon. Today's topic: Looming scandals....

Your NCAA Tournament Sweet Sixteen Finishing Touches Open Thread
In the next few hours, all attendees will have RSVP'd for the Sweet Sixteen extravaganza. The final five match-ups are Arizona vs. Texas; VCU vs. Purdue; Marquette vs. Syracuse; Illinois vs. Kansas; and in the weekend's final game, Florida State vs. Notre Dame....

Tar Heels Advance, Face Aggressive-Looking Fan En Route To Locker Room
The North Carolina Tar Heels defeated the Washington Huskies with some help from officials who didn't bother double-checking the shot clock before giving the latter their final shot to conceivably tie the game. They also didn't bother to make a questionable goaltending call on John Henson, which wo...

Elin Nordegren Got A Bigger, Nicer House But Tiger Woods Got A Younger, DUI-ier Ladyfriend
First, Jimmy Fallon thanked him for a year's worth of late-night material during an appearance in which the guys talked about how great Tiger's new pad is....

Your NCAA Tournament Early Games/Return Of Gus Open Thread
Washington and North Carolina tip off at 12:15 p.m., followed by Michigan vs. Duke at 2:45 p.m. Who knows, maybe Jalen and Bobby and Grant and Tom will put on a halftime slap fight....

The Man Born Without A Right Leg Is America's Best 125-Pound Wrestler
Your morning roundup for March 20, the day Haitian frustrations still have a Fugee in hand pain....

Video gamer takes second in real race
It was a long day for Nissan Signatech racing, and a longer one for Lucas Ordonez, the "digital kid" who won Nissan's GT Academy. The team's inaugural 12 Hours of Sebring culminated in a nail-biter of a second-place finish. [Jalopnik]...

Young Man Cries Like The Heat Locker Room When He's Showered With Plexiglass
You have to assume this young man was bragging pretty hard about having rinkside tickets for the Cape Breton Screaming Eagles's Quebec Major Junior Hockey League game in Nova Scotia last weekend. You also have to assume that classmates who sat in the second level, if they even got in, are still ha...

Kentucky Fan Enters The Memorable Tournament-Time Hairstyle Fray
Tipster Jeffrey G. was kind enough to send in that screenshot from today's Kentucky/West Virginia game. He also asked, "When did George Washington become a Kentucky basketball fan"? A better question is, "Why do both haircentric-tip targets from the past nine days have a ginger boy next to them"?...