in Page 3795 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Boof Bonser Bounced
Exploratory surgery on the Twins reliever revealed a torn rotator cuff, which means six to eight months of not being able to shout "BOOF!" at inappropriate moments. [MLB.com]...

Duke Survives Prank Call Barrage, Beats Maryland Anyway
Despite a long sleepless night of running refrigerator jokes, Duke somehow managed to get some rest in during their 18-hour wait for tipoff and were able to outlast Maryland....

Revisiting Jeff Reed's Paper Towel Freakout: An Investigative Report
You're probably thinking to yourself, "Hey, did they ever fix the towel dispenser that Jeff Reed broke?" That or you were thinking of pie. Quite often it's pie....

Hey, Are You Gheorghe Muresan?
• Livin large: Another young man has his dreams fulfilled by getting to hang out with a 7'7" human oddity. [Gunaxin]...

Spike Lee Will Help Out On Double-Teams Whenever He Can
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Some Spring Training News That Really Isn't News
In a development absolutely no one could have predicted, the Indians' Kerry Wood may miss some time with a sore back. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]...

Sharks' Practice Rink Is Cursed, Or Something
Two recreational league players collapse and die within hours of each other while playing hockey at Sharks Ice in San Jose. [San Jose Mercury]...

Claude Lemieux Returns To Detroit
Everyone involved wants play down this momentous occasion, but as a struggling hockey fan desperate for drama and intrigue, tonight's Sharks-Red Wings game is the most explosive moment in hockey history!...

Skip Bayless Poised To Aggravate Troy Aikman All Over Again
Before he was a professional devil's advocate on ESPN's morning yap programs, Skip Bayless was a semi-successful writer. And his ink-stained career is probably best remembered for pissing the shit out of Troy Aikman....

Kentucky Fans Forced To Relive "The Shot" For All Eternity
Christian Laettner, Rick Pitino and Vitamin Water have teamed up to annoy the crap out of you this March, with 50,000 repetitions of a commercial about the moment when they both peaked. Spoiler Alert! [KSR]...

Obama's Brother-In-Law Says 'Yes We Can'
The popular choice for Pac-10 men's basketball Coach of the Year? Oregon State's Craig Robinson, who took the worst program in America and completely turned it around. Change we can believe in....

How To Score 11 Game-Winning Points In 46 Seconds
Everyone who has ever played organized sports has that one moment of athletic glory they will never let anyone forget about, but I think Spencer Krhin's memory is going to be better than most....

Selena Roberts May Have A Couple Of Curves For A-Rod, Readers
Attention Oprah's Book Club readers: The publishing date of Selena Roberts' tell-all tome on Alex Rodriguez has been moved up to late April. And it may pack more of a punch than previously thought....

Washington State QB Suspended Due To Suspicious "Bag Of Vomit"
Marshall Lobbestael was arrested after being found in a car parked in front of the Pullman police station, "allegedly passed out with a grocery bag of vomit between his legs." But it's all a frame up, see!...

25 Random Things About Rick Reilly. Really.
Rick Reilly detests blogs, but loves Facebook apparently. Oh, and posting on his own blog (not a blog!) "Go Fish" where he publishes "occasional and random mind dumps from the brain of Rick Reilly."...

Randy Johnson Will Still Put A Ball In Your Neck If You Test Him
"In Johnson's first throwing session against Giants hitters on Saturday, his new teammates took a few too many pitches for his taste. Unabashedly incensed, Johnson grumbled afterward, 'Swing the stinking bat!' [NY TIMES]...

Maryland Would Like To Know If Duke Has Prince Albert In A Can
Jokesters on a Maryland message board posted the phone number of the hotel that Duke's hoops team was staying in last night and the results were a sad indictment of the current state of college pranks....

Dave Bing Wants To Be Mayor Of Detroit For Some Reason
Here's all you need to know about Dave Bing: He enters campaign rallies to the tune of "The Final Countdown," as an announcer yells: "Here's your favorite Detroit Piston, starting for the City of Detroit!"...

Soccer Fashion Shows Are Fabulous!
• Nice socks: The new Women's Professional Soccer League shows off their disappointingly tasteful uniforms. And what will Brandi Chastain be wearing? [The Beautiful Game]...

This Just In: Notre Dame Still On Bubble Despite Several Losses
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....