in Page 3818 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Floyd "Fatty" Mayweather Fined For Performance Enhancing Blubber
Floyd Mayweather weighed 146 pounds at yesterday's weigh-in, 2 pounds over the stipulated limit for tonight's fight against Juan Marquez. The flub(ber) will cost him 600k, at 300k per pound...If only my girlfriend had that clause. Zing! [ESPN]...

Your College Football Open Thread
Can Lane Kiffin's Vols cover the spread against Florida? How will TCU handle Texas State-San Marcos' explosive directional punting game? Sound off here. [CBS Sports]...

University Of Minnesota Bans All Your Rowdy Friends
It's bad enough that drinking is banned at Minnesota football games —but tailgating too? Those with rowdy reputations must now enter through special gate and get breathalized. Fail, and watch the game from a bar—where at least there's beer. [ESPN]...

Peyton Appreciates His Receivers & Tight Ends
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The BAC Of The Entire Adelman Family Is About 7.4
This is...impressive. Daughter of Rockets' head coach Rick Adelman, Kathryn Naro, a high school women's head basketball coach was pinched for her second DUI earlier this week, bringing the total number of Adelman children busted for DUIs to three....

The One Where Tim Tebow Gets Cornholed
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Yankees More Than Willing To Employ Crazy Old Men
Senior citizens are suing the Bombers for age discrimination after one was asked in a job interview, "What could someone 73 years old offer the Yankees?" I don't know...lunatic micromanagement and a Dave Winfield blackmail file? [NYPost]...

Lucky ESPN Employees Can Feast On The Invaluable Wisdom Of Larry King
According to a memo released to ESPN employees, CNN's gargoyle-shouldered talk show host will stop by Bristol's campus on September 23rd to share some of his news industry experience and promote his book....

Dunta Robinson's Shoes Demand Payment
In a classic Rod Tidwell move, The Texans' CB wrote "Pay me, Rick" with sharpie on his cleats. "Rick"[Smith]—the Texans GM—fined Dunta (yes, "Dunta") $25,000 for "conduct detrimental to the team". Daaaamn Rick! [ESPN]...

Psycho T Found Your Dog!
Tyler Hansbrough—and a Andy Katz doppelganger—will find your lost puppy through the magic of social networking (and AT&T! What a great corporate partner!) It's a shame that this doesn't violate any NCAA rules. [Rush The Court]...

Hair Boy and Copper Girl Fight For Airtime Supremacy
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

This Man Has An Opinion On The NL West
Former Journey lead singer Steve Perry is a Giants fan. "Don't Stop Believin'" is the Dodgers' 2009 anthem. That, in the journalism industry, is what we call: conflict!...

Bustin' Ass
It's been awhile since we last brought you a photo of a terrified adolescent mutton-buster being tossed about by an unsettlingly placid-looking sheep. Our apologies....

The Learning Curve: Herm's Perm
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

WWE's Linda McMahon Scores Key Endorsement In Actual, Not-Fake Senate Bid
McMahon, wife of Vince, CEO of WWE, enemy of budget deficits, is running for Chris Dodd's Senate seat. "Connecticut needs Linda McMahon," says former wrestler Lanny "The Genius" Poffo. "She is the opposite of Nancy Pelosi." Senton bomb! [Daily Beast]...

The 2009 Washington Nationals: A Season Of Bigger Failure
Despite appearances, the New York Mets are not baseball's worst team. That honor belongs to the Washington Nationals, a organization whose legendary incompetence should be memorialized on the marble arches of the great city that wishes they played elsewhere....

Does The World Need Cheerleaders?
The answer, of course, is "Yes." But why should that be so? Do we really need leaders to organize our cheers? Do basket tosses contribute to victory? Or is it that you can see ladies' underwear without being consider pervy?...

Young College QBs Beleaguered By Crazy Fans With Cell Phones And Internet Access
The nation's paper of record did a terrifying feature about the downside of being a high profile college quarterback and the deadly pitfalls the new media era of Twitter, Facebook, and, ahem, Deadspin....

Leodis McKelvin Forgives Teens For Unauthorized Yard Work
Bills kick returner Leodis McKelvin will not press charges against the two teenagers who defaced his lawn after his back-breaking fumble against the Patriots. He actually had the vandalism charges in hand, but then he dropped them. [ ESPN]...

Hello There, Little Ball
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....