in Page 3852 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oh, Jason, You've Really Gone And Done It Now...
Jason Whitlock wrote a face-slapper of a column about Serena Williams where he says things like this: "I am not fundamentally opposed to junk in the trunk, although my preference is a stuffed onion over an oozing pumpkin." Jezebels...ATTACK!...
What Is Wrong With Our Fragile Baseball Players? (MRI Edition)
As anyone who plays fantasy baseball can tell you, injuries are killing your team. Baseball players spend more time on the DL than ever before, which probably says something about the times we live in. (It means you're weak.)...
Greg Oden's Romantic Hawaiian Vacation Keeps Getting Interrupted By Bill From Accounting
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Tomorrow Is The First Day To Watch Young People In Red Scarves Get Gored
Yes, right about now, 95% of the inhabitants of tiny Pamplona, Spain are getting good and sloshed to prepare for the annual San Fermin "religious" festival where large creatures are loosed upon Hemingway-inspired college kids through a wooden maze. Par-tay....
Off The Wall, Indeed: Ron Artest Pays Tribute To Michael Jackson
"Michael, Michael, Michael, you my nigga. I know a thug would cry for you, my dude. Aint no R&B singer really ever makes me cry. Makes me wanna meet you, touch your hand. Ya know?" [YouTube]...
Former Bubbly Blonde Olympic Figure Skater Is Now Meth-Running Brunette With A Bob
Nicole Bobek, who appeared at the 1998 Nagano Winter Olympics, was in a Jersey City court today on charges she played a "significant role" in a massive meth operation. [NJ.com]...
Caleb Campbell Gives Bobsledding A Shot
Remember Caleb Campbell—the former Army Cadet who was drafted by, but not allowed to play for, the Detroit Lions? Boy, did that guy dodge a bullet! Okay, maybe that was a bad metaphor....
Breaking: Joe Morgan Tells The Truth!
America's baseball uncle was tellin' tales again last night — something about a long slump and a home run he hit off Nolan Ryan — and for once, his story is supported by those ever-pesky computer numbers. [MLB Insights]...
A Hearty L'Chaim To Jason Lezak
Jason Lezak — three-time Olympic gold medalist, Phelpsian savior and, blessedly, former bar mitzvah boy — will skip the swimming world championships to race in Israel's Maccabiah Games. When in Jerusalem, he'll be hankering for Chinese food from Beijing. [AP]...
Diagramming Sarah Palin's "Full-Court Press" Metaphor
Last Friday, Sarah Palin shrugged into her respectable Republican cloth coat and announced she was resigning from office. Along the way, she dropped a somewhat baffling basketball analogy, which we've helpfully diagrammed for you below, just as Palin described it....
A Special Announcement From Ballsdeepland
Announcements have been unkind to you lately. They're either telling you someone has died, or that you're gonna get banned from commenting. Well here's an announcement I hope you find a bit more welcome....
Long Snapper Pays Price For Saints' Poor Investment Decisions
Kevin Houser has played in every Saints game since 2000—only hiking the ball on kicks, but still—yet he was abruptly cut last week for no apparent reason. Unless you count failed investments that cost his teammates $2 million....
Minor League Promotion Violates Human Rights Laws, Constitution
It's a remarkable world we live in when a promotion meant to celebrate women can get written up as a violation of human rights laws. I hope Amnesty International doesn't have to be called for the next Free Bat Night....
More Steve McNair Revelations And Fallout
Mechelle McNair, Steve's wife of 12 years, had no idea her husband was cheating on her until after his death, the NY Daily News reports. But one former NFL quarterback's wife offered some unfiltered opinion on how she'd react....
In Season Debut, Candace Parker Produces Six Points, Several Fluid Ounces Of Breast Milk
Parker returned yesterday against the Mercury, and once again sportswriters found themselves talking about her boobs: "Just before the game, Parker had to pump breastmilk in the locker room for her daughter's post-game feeding." [LA Daily News]...
Andy Roddick's Heartbreaking Day At The Beer Pong Table
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Tiger Woods: Winner Of Own AT & T National Tournament, Budding Comedian
Another great day for Gillette spokespeople: Tiger Woods wins the 2009 AT &T National, Federer won Wimbledon, and Jeter hit a walkoff. Since it's Tiger's tournament, he's the only one who got to interview himself. .[Waggle Room]...
The Nathan's 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Is America
Is there anything more distinctly American than celebrating our independence by holding a contest to see who could consume the most processed meat? Photographer Erin Siegal and I ventured out to Coney Island to take it all in....
Oh, And The Mets Looked Great This Weekend
To be fair, Johan Santana did run up against Joe Blanton, a card-carrying furry. Even with this much-needed sweep, it still feels like the Marlins are going to backdoor the NL East when no one's looking.[Philly.com]...
In Other Former NFL Quarterback News...
Quincy Carter has been released by the Abilene Ruff Riders after he flaked out again.The team said he simply didn't show up and had no idea of his whereabouts. And he seemed so re-focused. [LewP]...