in Page 3915 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Only Soccer Can Get You Off The Junk
It's tough to incentivize a person trying to kick a heroin habit. The only thing you can give them that would make them happy is, uh, more heroin, and that won't do. So England is trying something new: Giving away soccer tickets....
Who's Sorry Now? Melo Edition
There is possibly no one on earth who is sorrier than Carmelo Anthony right now; his DUI arrest on Monday has placed him in a state of regret that can actually be seen from space. Call it the Great Wall of Remorse. We just couldn't ignore it here at Who's Sorry Now. Here's his statement, found on th...
Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend
Everybody has a favorite sports urban legend. Some like the Rafael Palmeiro Sleeps With Ryne Sandberg's Wife one. Others are fans of the Kevin Mitchell Cuts The Heads Of Cats one. Our preference has always been the Orioles Canceled A Game Because Cal Ripken Couldn't Play Because He Found Kevin Costn...
Chad Johnson's Attitude Reaches New Level Of Stinko-ness
It was only a couple years ago when Bengals' wide receiver Chad Johnson was cause celebre to NFL fans; his defiance against the league for his wacky endzone celebrations seemed harmless and amusing, even if it did cost his team the occasional 15-yard penalty. He was also quotable, seemingly self-awa...
Media Approval Ratings: Kenny Smith
The playoffs are just two days away now, which means we're going to be seeing a lot of Kenny Smith and his "hilarious" Gone Fishin' bits after a team is eliminated from the playoffs. The man deals with Charles Barkley every night, and that's no small feat....
KSK Blogger Disgraces Washington Post's Pristine Image
The young man in this picture, enjoying himself with the Pittsburgh Parrot, is Michael Tunison. He has two lives. In one, he is Michael Tunison, reporter for The Washington Post. In the other, he is Christmas Ape, one of the crew at Kissing Suzy Kolber and a weekend editor at this here site. Earlier...
The Obligatory Cardinals Post You've All Been Dreading
We know we're being idiots even discussing this, but we might not have the opportunity to point it out much longer: Our Cardinals are in first place and playing their asses off....
Jeff Weaver Finds Himself A Home
Who says Scott Boras has lost it? Sure, he bombed out the Alex Rodriguez negotiations, and he ended up putting Kyle Lohse, the supposed top free agent pitching name, in St. Louis at an extreme discount. But look at what he's done with Jeff Weaver!...
Timberwolves Double Down On The Lottery
When you're the Minnesota Timberwolves, you have to lure in season ticket buyers by any means necessary. So they've come up with quite the novel plan: They're tying ticket prices to which lottery pick the team gets....
Tracking Erin Andrews' Web-Centric Path To Stardom
Swoopy-haired USA Today writer Michael Hiestand has a mini-profile of everyone's favorite TV sports princess, Erin Andrews, which attempts to tactfully explain her internet popularity without sounding sleazy or sexist. He succeeds (mostly), and serves up this McDonald's-friendly description:...
T-Bones Welcome Michael Vick To The Neighborhood
It's the glorious return of Minor Enterprise, a celebration of God's gift of Minor League baseball promotions. Also, we will plagiarize some Rachael Ray recipes....
Carmelo Anthony Absolutely, Unequivocally Bombed Out Of His Mind, Say Cops
The latest reports out of Denver about the DUI arrest of the booze-addled, snitch-averse Carmelo Anthony say that the Nuggets' star's level of impairment was, according to investigating officers, "extreme."...
Media Approval Ratings: Rob Neyer
As he loves to point out, Rob Neyer has written more words for ESPN.com that just about anyone over there, and if you've read Simmons' two-part NBA MVP series, you know that's no small feat....
Gus Johnson Is Still The Dancing Queen
Proving once again that Meryl Streep made an awful career decision starring in "Mamma Mia;" this belonged to Gus, obviously, from the get-go....
Celebrating Jackie Robinson Day With Canadian Highlights And Lou Gossett Jr.
When honoring the great Jackie Robinson and all he has meant to baseball, my first thought was the same as the Dodgers': Roll out Chaka Khan. What, no Rufus? Tell me something good .... Of course Lou Gossett Jr. was also there, so it made perfect sense. Look, I don't like the fact that Jackie Robins...
The Joe Borowski Fury Makes Its 2008 Debut
We thought it would happen during last year's playoffs, but in the wake of a high-profile loss to the Red Sox last night, Indians fans have finally had enough: They're ready to take Joe Borowski out to the woodshed and, you know, do whatever you do to people behind the woodshed....
Schilling's Doctor Perfects The Art Of Crap-Talking
Apparently, even Curt Schilling's personal physicans have big mouths. In an act of either monumentally selfish publicity hounding or a Herculean display of testicular fortitude, Dr. Craig Morgan, Schilling's "personal doctor", said that Curt was so infuriated with the Red Sox handling of his bum sho...
The Glue-Handed Patroller Of The Middle Exterior
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Red Smiths, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's...
Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry
Terrorist attack, or old Monty Python sketch? You be the judge: Several members of Australia's Olympic team were enjoying a batch of chocolate muffins at a Brisbane function last week, when some of the treats were found to have been sabotaged with paper clips. According to the Brisbane Times, a "maj...
Alex Smith's Popularity Soaring
Sigh. Oh, The Dirty.com. It's amazing that this crew is getting all of these photos (well, three) of 49ers quarterback Alex Smith sent to them. What did Alex Smith ever do to anybody? Besides, you know, kind of suck?...