in Page 3970 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Maybe Next Time He'll Use Mapquest
Welcome to Long Island; a primitive, lawless land where roving gangs of youth sports parents will take you down like a wounded wildebeast. Snake Pliskin won't even go in there anymore. Last week we told you of the inspiring story of two mob-connected brothers who beat up a Little League coach for be...

After 33 Games, The Weis Era Is As Ugly As Ever
If it's the Friday after another Notre Dame blowout, you know what time it is: Time to play the Charlie Weis vs. Tyrone Willingham game!...

Whose Side Is George Mitchell On?
As Ken Rosenthal related in his column yesterday, one of the first things Paul Byrd asked after being interviewed about that whole HGH business was, "Isn't George Mitchell with the Red Sox?"...

The Rockies Could Make Some Folks Some Cash
We kick off our World Series coverage in the first place many of you will be looking: The arena of gambling. We tend to think this series as rather tight, hardly some obvious mismatch ... but it appears Vegas disagrees....

The Machine Rebellion Begins, Wearing No. 99
Seriously, that thing's gonna kill somebody. Which it becomes self-aware, man, we're all doomed....

Goodnight, Sweet Prancing Prince
It's a sad day, kids, but we knew someday this national joyride had to end: Mark Cuban has been been booted from "Dancing With The Stars." We know. We're sorry we have to be the ones to tell you....

Jason Taylor Is Attacking London
If you happen to be reading this from London, hey there! Put another shrimp on the barbie! Konichiwa! Bellisimo! No me importa un pimiento! Elcome-way oo-tay ee-thay ational-Nay ootball-Fay eague-Lay!...

Duke, North Carolina Make It Rain
Back off, people! We know that there's a drought, and you're thirsty. But this water is being saved to drench the synthetic turf at the field hockey stadium. We have our priorities at Duke University....

Dennis Miller is Coming And It Seems There's Nothing We Can Do About It
Hey there kemosabe it's me, Dennis Miller. While it's true that I've had more shows than the original Broadway run of Cats, I really don't see how one more is going to hurt. Hair plugs aren't cheap, OK babe? So pull up a footstool and check out the promo for my latest offering, Sports Unfiltered wi...

Chargers Flee Fire For Dry Heat
If anyone out there is being affected by the fires in Southern California — we're sure we have tons of Malibu readers, of course — we hope you're finding, you know, some cool land. And we hope you're better off than the Chargers, who might have to play this Sunday's game in the Buzzsaw's reject stad...

The Pacers Really, Really Want You To Come To Their Games
It looks like it's gonna be a brutal year for the Indiana Pacers, so they're gonna need every tactic they can to try to sell tickets. We're not sure this online "ad" is gonna be much help....

This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...

Larry King Is Busting Out All Over
As you might have heard or remembered, here's the shot of Larry King from "Football Night In America" the other night. It's like his brain exploded but remained inside his skull....

Chad Johnson Wants You To Keep The Tape Rolling
No matter what anyone says, it's still hard to adjust to the notion of Keyshawn Johnson wearing a suit and being introduced by Chris Berman. It's like the spectacle of Sitting Bull as part of Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show. Keyshawn was not meant to be tamed....

The Colts Haven't Lost Since December, And Still No One Notices
You know, Jacksonville isn't a bad team; you could make a strong argument that they're the fourth best team in the AFC. And Indianapolis is the quiet undefeated defending Super Bowl champion team nobody is talking about. And they hammered the Jags last night....

About Last Night
What you missed while recovering from paintball injuries ... • NFL: Hey, the Colts have a defense too. Indianapolis 29, Jacksonviille 7. • NBA: Knicks' exhibition win over Celtics probably won't be repeated any time soon. New York 94, Boston 87. • Soccer: Whose your daddy? Not Greg Ryan, who is out ...

It's Monday Night In Jacksonville!
You know that "Monday Night Football" means business when the program comes to Jacksonville. You might remember Tony Kornheiser's famous anti-Jacksonville screeds. (They even bothered him in restaurants....