in Page 3998 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Needs Demetrius When You Have Katsidis?!
Damn, I really hope all of those sportswriters penning their "Boxing Is Dead" stories forked over the money last night. They certainly would have gotten their money's worth in addition to a pleasant relevation. No, Demetrius Hopkins' fight was not televised, and I was a bit pissed. That feeling disa...
Why Go Outside When You Can Watch People Going Outside On Television?
• Now — Golf: The Open Championship [ABC] • 1:00 — Movie: Van Wilder [Comedy Central] • 1:30 — Motor Sports: Indy Racing Series Honda 200 at the Mid-Ohio Sports Car Course [ABC] • 2:00 — MLB: Chicago White Sox at Boston Red Sox [WGN] • 2:00 — Volleyball: AVP Long Beach Open men's final [NBC] • 4:00 ...
The Night Time Is The Right Time
It's been confirmed that David Beckham will not start tonight in his debut with the LA Galaxy, however he has indicated that he will suit up and play. The questions remaining are at what point will he enter the game, and how long will his tender pussy ankle allow him to go on. Blah blah blah. The re...
Tim "Douche" Donaghy Did It and I Called It
The now ex-NBA referee has had a really shitty week, and deservedly so. Just as I predicted Donaghy was identified as the target of the FBI's gambling investigation. While part of me feels for a guy who obviously suffers from a gambling addiction the rest of me is fucking ecstatic. The reason I kept...
Michael Vick Got Served, Protested Against
Everybody seems to be pretty peeved with Mr. Vick...even PETA! Those plucky characters spent yesterday afternoon picketing outside NFL headquarters. Of course Roger Goodell wasn't actually there to see it, he was safe from their mutton chopped intimidators in his subterranean bunker....
Please Consult Your Employee Handbook
• The memo that changed our lives. The part where Skipper explains what a leader is, that's still our favorite one. • Tommy Morrison loves black people. • Kill the ref! No, seriously, they might kill him. • Fight, children, fight. • Joe Torre is a racist, don't ya know. • We are not going to Fire Is...
Who's the Next MLB Player To Bang Alyssa Milano?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think.)...
Make Like A Tree And Get Out Of Here
Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told us that if we didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain....
The Kansas City T-Bones, The Universe, And Everything
Time once again to check in with the world of minor league baseball; it's Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...
We're Guess Jack Daniels Will Cost About 12 Bucks
Good news! If Tampa Bay Buccaneers get confused by the 73 quarterbacks they'll have on their team this year, they will be able to douse their pain with the sweet nectar of hard liquor....
That Sound You Hear Is Cardinals Fans Tightening The Noose
This photo, shot in the wake of the Cardinals' announcement that Chris Carpenter will have Tommy John surgery, reveals just how matters are going in St. Louis right now. 2006 World Series ... 2006 World Series ... 2006 World Series ... we must remember while we still can. We miss Jeff Weaver alread...
German TV Is Shocked To Find Doping In This Establishment
We know we're gonna blow your minds here, but it turns out that there has been a bit of a blood doping scandal at the Tour de France! We know! In cycling! Of all places! You know, you think you can trust a sport. Anyway, a German television station has decided it's had just about enough, thank you v...
A Baby Name Which Will Cause No Future Embarrassment Whatsoever
When all is said and done, I blame the mom. When your last name is Karr, and dad comes up with the brilliant idea of naming the new baby Chevy, that's when you put your foot down, ladies. And you put it down hard ... on dad's genitals while he's sleeping, if necessary. And if he still insists, then ...
Tommy Morrison Is A Deep Thinker
One would think "boxer" Tommy Morrison's constant claims that AIDS is "an invented virus" making money for the drug industry, and that "heterosexuals can't transmit the virus" would inspire people to stop taking him seriously and no longer listen to him. That hasn't worked, but maybe his new enlight...
Alyssa Milano Makes A New Friend
This might seem like an odd thing for us to say, but we don't actually hate Alyssa Milano's MLB.com blog. Pseudo TV starlets who once played Schwarzenegger's daughter in Commando don't necessarily do it for us anymore, but, well, it's not every day you read the phrase "Butterflies in my tummy" on a ...
Kicking Pepperoni On The Ump
There are so many ways to express your displeasure with an umpire. You can boo; some do this quite effectively. You can send him angry letters. You can say nasty things about him on a message board. Or you can throw pizza at him....
Teach The Children Skills They Can Use
Say what you will, man, but it certainly seems to us that there's a lot of children being left behind. Kids just aren't getting the education they need; our school system is helplessly flawed. Thankfully, one man stands bravely ahead of the pack, doing what he can to teach the youth the skills they ...