in Page 4004 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Nike's US Division Defeats Nike's Spanish Division at Company Picnic
Jesus H. on a medal stand. While you were sleeping, the United States and Spain put on an offensive show that impressed the inventors of fireworks themselves. Both teams combined for 225 points in a mere 40 minutes of action that moved so quickly that the paint on the hardwood melted. The United Sta...

Why Does That Chinese Tattoo Look Like a Bar Code?
We don't want to throw a cold bucket of confetti on the proceedings late tonight, but could it be that all of the perceived new focus by USA Basketball and its players on preparation and presenting a warm face to the public has an awful lot to do with the 1.3 billion consumers the shoe companies (an...

The Thing I Do Can Be Related to Current Events So Look At Me!
Below, you will see what it takes for a man to excrete success. Frosted Flakes Gold is not involved, despite what our television just told us. Click to view ...

To Watch Tonight: The Winner Takes It All
What to watch to overcome your disappointment in the Golf Digest submission standards... • NFL Preseason Football: Steelers vs. Vikings (8 pm ET) - The Vikings' mastery of steel is well-documented. The Steelers' mastery of vike, on the other hand, has less supporting evidence. [CBS] • NASCAR: Sharpi...

Synchronized Swimmer Sinks Slowly; Silly Swimmer!
We've been shopping our script about a narcoleptic synchronized swimmer for years to no avail; it's an uplifting story, but you know how much it costs to make a water-based film. However, we've dusted off the script and sent it to our agent again after hearing that one of the Japanese synchronized s...

The Spurs Could Really Use a Hug Right Now
Tottenham took to the pitch this morning without the services of Dimitar Berbatov for the second straight week, and once again they failed to secure a single point. The frustrated Bulgarian striker wasn't even in attendance to watch his (soon to be former) teammates drop a 2-1 decision against Sund...

Is Jacques Rogge’s IOC Ever Going to Grow A Pair?
The Olympics are in full-swing and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they se...

And This Little Piggy Smashed Your Face In
We've been irritated a time or six by a game official that felt they were as important to the proceedings as the participants themselves. We always had the urge to do something about them to return equilibrium to the event. However, we never got further than drafting a formal complaint and then for...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Bite Me; It's Fun!
• Now — Sport-adjacent: "Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Dallas Cowboys" marathon [HBO] - Hard Knocks: For people who prefer their soap operas encased in Lycra. • 12:30 — Sport: 2008 Beijing Olympics [NBC] - According to NBC, we will enjoy gold-medal finals in individual rhythmic gymnastics, tea...

Morning Blogdome: Girls Who Are Boys
• Thank heavens for little... boys?: "And then they realize... this isn't Madeleine. In fact, this isn't a girl, it's a boy. Who looks nothing like Madeleine McCann. Who belongs to a famous Croatian model and Dino Drpic, an international Croatian footballer who plays for Dinamo Zagreb." [Unprofessio...

Mort Didn't Get Big; The Stories Got Small
Hi; we're Tuffy. Thanks for having us. But enough pleasantries. We don't have much to add to Gene Upshaw's passing that Michael Silver didn't already cover. However, we'd like to pull our good friends ESPN over for a moment and have a quick chat about their coverage of a man's passing. C'm'ere. Tak...

Argentina Live Up to Their Gold Medal Aspirations
Argentina's men's basketball team may have come up short against the United States, but their heavily favored soccer team laid claim to a gold medal of their own. Angel Di Maria's chip shot past Ambrose Vanzekin was all the Argentines needed to defeat Nigeria in a brilliantly contested Olympic gold...

ESPN Headline Writers Probably Should've Opted For Something Less Chinky
Given all the insensitivity issues that have come up during Olympic basketball, it probably wasn't a good idea for ESPN.com to use "Chink In The Armor?" as their Redeem Team story hed at 4 p.m. today. Well, it's changed now. That's the beauty of online publishing; your sins can be vanquished in an i...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch in your $5,000 tree house ... • Boxing: Fernando Beltran vs. Takalani Ndlovu, for vacant IBF featherweight title, at Nashville (9 p.m., ET). Takalani Ndlovu to you, too. [ESPN2] • NFL preseason: Houston at Dallas (8 p.m., ET). Yet another game Hank Hill will miss due to Bobby's bell ch...

Titans Haze Injured Rookies By Taping Them to Goalpost, Covering Them In Food
It's good to see that NFL hazing will never die. At least not until someone tears an ACL or suffocates while taped to a goal post. The Titans held their annual dizzy bat race for the healthy players. But they reserved their true scorn for the players who were too injured to participate in the dizzy...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Barbaro
One SHOTY winner looks like he's gonna make it into the Hall this year. The other is up for an unprecedented third time. Is this the year? Can't a dead horse catch a break? Honestly, if he doesn't make it this year, I plan on putting him up for nomination as long as the site exists anyway. Why not?...

Tell Me How My Sass Tastes: Woman Gets Restraining Order Against Shaq For "Stalking"
Just as things started looking up for Shaquille O'Neal (a rejuvenation of his NBA career in Phoenix, a rejuvenation of his rap career, making up with his estranged wife) he might be in store for some troubling times due to the allegations of one Atlanta-based lady who claims The Diesel is "stalking ...

Now You Can Bet on Which NFL Team Will Have the Next Arrest
Somewhere Roger Goodell is crying. Or making a boatload of cash thanks to inside information. Right now the Cincinnati Bengals lead the clubhouse at 5/1. Many teams are set at 25/1. Not content with betting on teams? In addition to team arrests, you can take the over/under on number of individual a...

If The Snaggle-Toothed Ping Pong Player's Gettin' Some, Everybody Is
Or so that's the statement from Matthew Syed, whose eye-opening Penthouse forum-style article in the Times of London titled "Sex And The Olympic City" makes it seem virtually impossible for any athlete not to get laid while they spend time in an Olympic village. Syed is a former British table-tennis...

Michael Phelps Slash Fiction Is Here! (It's Too Late To Run)
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...