in Page 4074 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Night For Loud Bears Fans And Silent Rams Ones
We spent a year and a half of our lives in St. Louis and went to two NFL games. The first was in 1998, when Tony Banks was the quarterback. You can imagine what happened then. The second time was in 1999, when Kurt Warner threw five touchdown passes on our 24th birthday to smash the then-vexing San ...
Prince Brings His Unique Style Of Pants To The Super Bowl
As anyone who watched the NFL on CBS yesterday now knows from the above commercial, your Super Bowl halftime show performer is Prince. We don’t understand this commercial in the slightest — because Prince, of course, has never once made an artistic decision based on advertisers or corporate interest...
Carson Palmer Throws Better Than He Listens
What do you get the multimillionaire quarterback who has everything? That's the question The Dayton Daily News asked Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer, and his answer is a reminder why we are not friends with athletes. Here's what Palmer said he wanted for the holidays (emphasis ours):...
Always Beware When There Are Bears
The concept was a pleasant, make-the-world-a-better-place one; after the first goal scored by the Minnesota-Duluth hockey team, fans were to throw teddy bears on the ice. The bears would then be collected and given to needy children (in lieu of food, apparently). But then it all went wrong....
Year In Review: February
We're reviewing each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We call it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature something for the last year that we might overlook, email us at [email protected] with s...
One Cycling Probe The French Won't Touch
If you've got some time, the Journal of Sexual Medicine needs your help. They need a term for the female version of "cycling penis," a condition which occurs when a cyclist spends too much time on a bicycle seat. We bring this to you via Dave Barry's blog, although Dave failed to note several key pa...
NFL Roundup: What The Hell Got Into The Saints?
News And Notes From Week 14 In The NFL ......
Sunday Night Football: Exploring The Parcells/Payton Relationship
Congratulations to NBC for managing to find two worthwhile teams in the NFC... they might be the only two. The 8-4 Saints travel to Dallas to take on the 8-4 Cowboys tonight, and there are storylines aplenty....
News About The Bengals That Doesn't Involve Handcuffs
Yesterday started with some bad (though, really, kind of standard) Bengals news, so let's drop in some good Bengals news today. David Pollack, the rookie linebacker who fractured a vertebra during a September game for the Bengals, had his stabilizing halo removed this week....
West Virginia Is More Tolerant Than You Think
Not only do the West Virginia Mountaineers have a male baton twirler, they have a bad-ass male baton twirler. Meet Donovan Sarr, introduced to us by this WVU press release touting their evidently awesome baton twirling squad....
Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight Bengals Shackled, Seven Swans-A-Swimming...
Desperate to up the total with the new year looming, Bengals cornerback Deltha O'Neal has become the 8th Cincinnati Bengal to be arrested this calendar year. That has to be an NFL record... and now they're just being greedy and trying to put it completely out of reach for anyone else. There are only...
Week In Deadspin: The Ballad Of Ron Herpes
• Calling himself "Ron Herpes" probably would have defeated the point. • David Hirshey takes on Bill Simmons. (Kind of.) • ESPN is down with independent films. One might almost call them underground! • Tony LaRussa is ACTING! • You know what's awesome? The BCS! • Ali Rap is bullocks. • USC just ha...
Do We Laugh Now, Or Wait Until It Gets Funny?
We picked you for the job, not because we think you're so damn smart, but because we thought you were a shade less dumb than the rest of the outfit. Guess we were wrong. You're not smarter, Walter. You're just a little taller....
Year In Review: January
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." Well, we're gonna do that again, starting today, with the fine month of January. We're digging through our archives pretty well, b...
Barbaro Denounces Your New Testament
"And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the horse wrapped in a blanket and standing in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward Barbaro.' And that's wha...
An Astounding Lack Of Field Vision
This handsome gentleman is Darius Johnson, a high school running back in Kansas. This season, he ran for more than 1,000 yards and is beloved by his teammates. He has had a difficult life, though; he has sickle cell anemia, his mother died of cancer when he was 10 and, oh yeah ... he's legally blind...
Sadly, She Was Only On Level One
What happens when you cross Million Dollar Baby with The Miracle Worker? You get this; which we suppose is video boxing, but could also be a clearcut case of demonic possession. We blame two things for these deeply troubling images: The new wireless Wii remote, and Title IX. Clearly there are flaws ...
Buy Dontrelle Willis Some Dishware
We don't want to be known as some kind of Negative Nellie in the world of sports; we like sunshine and rainbows and all kinds of pretty things that might or might not have tails. We support nice happy stories, like anything involving the Marlins' Dontrelle Willis, whom could very well be the most ...
Bonds In St. Louis, And What It Could Mean For The Human Condition
Part of being a sports fan is making internal deals with yourself. Sure, you might despise, say, Charles Oakley when he's on the other team, but when he's on your team, he's indispensable and the guy you scream for. No matter what he has done in the past, no matter how much he has hurt your team or ...
Afterwards, They Attacked A Guy With Their Unfinished Screenplays
You know, we have to give credit where credit is due: We have never considered UCLA Bruins fans among the most passionate and violent in the land of collegiate sports, but, apparently, we were mistaken. After the Bruins' win over USC last Saturday, a group of Bruins fans ganged up and attacked a Tro...