in Page 4075 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Dregs Of Early March
• We returned from vacation. • See ya, Favre. • Fun with George Karl's lawyer. • Poor Felix Pie. • Yipes, Ministry. • Life as a scout is a sad, scary thing. • Juan Gonzalez! • Greatest Highlight! • Four square! • It can't be fun to broadcast a marathon. • The end of the Sonics. • ESPN tests are hard...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your significant other runs down some time on the shot clock ... • Boxing: Featherweights, champion Thomas Mashaba vs. Cristobal Cruz, for the IBO title, at Mashantucket, Conn. (9 p.m., ET). Much more entertaining if you play along with your Wii. Body blow! [ESPN2] • Motor sports: M...
What's Creepier Than A Draft Combine? How About A Junior High Draft Combine?
You know what youth football has always been missing? Creepy draft combines! Honestly, for too long we have not had the opportunity to nail down and discover the top physical specimens at the age of 12. But worry not!...
If Only Dave Matthews Could Pitch
Remind us never to make fun of Wrigley Field hosting The Police again: It appears karma has come back to kick us in the metaphysical groin the very next day. The new Busch Stadium is about to host its first ever concert. And boy, is it ever an epic one....
In What Universe Is This A Foul?
A foul, Mr. Official? Seriously? This call is the 2000 Florida election results of college basketball....
For A Minute There I Thought This Might Look Ridiculous
My first question before ordering one of these is, does it come in teal? Deuce of Davenport found this in a wrestling supply catalog, but I imagine that it could also come in handy on the basketball court, or just in the schoolyard to fend off bullies. Although there's always the danger of your head...
The More You Drive, The Less Intelligent You Are
A lot o' people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch o' unconnected incidents 'n things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice o' coincidence that lays on top o' everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' s...
Soon, You Won't Even Be Able To Say The Word "Yankees"
The Cape Cod League is one of the minor leagues' most beloved and historic treasures, if you're into the whole "treasure" thing. The league was founded in 1885, which makes it as old as Yogi Berra. It also happens to have some of the same team names as Major League Baseball franchises, including the...
Baseball Season Preview: Cincinnati Reds
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all....
Media Approval Ratings: Mike Patrick
With the Duke-North Carolina game this weekend — and the accompanying drinking games — we thought it'd be the perfect day to take a look at the occasionally bizarre Mike Patrick....
Ministry Is Now Writing NHL Fan Songs
Anyone who had that collegiate/postcollegiate fervor of metal-sledged revolution will remember the anarchic thrust of the band Ministry. Every time we listened to that band, we were convinced the world was collapsing all around us and only our youthful vigor could save it. Then the song would end an...
The Marycuse Orangeapins
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming the Floor....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while packing for camp ... • College basketball: AP's account of UCLA's overtime win over Stanford fails to mention the absolutely brutal call against the Cardinal's Lawrence Hill with two seconds left in regulation that handed the Bruins the Pac-10 title. • NBA: Los Spurs have won 1...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that the New York Times must have laid off some headline oversight editors ... • College basketball: Connecticut at Providence (7 p.m., ET), Xavier at Saint Joseph's (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Clemson at Georgia Tech (7 p.m., ET), Michigan State at Illinois (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2...
Yao's Untraditional Rehab
In one of those stories that we're sure is being blown out of proportion but just can't help but pile onto anyway, it appears that people within the Houston Rockets — who apparently, in the midst of a 16-game winning streak, need something to worry about — are concerned that Yao Ming's rehabilitatio...
Man's Ashes Have More Fun Than He Ever Did
Dear tiny infant Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you, "Jezus," please welcome Big George Helms (pictured here) into your Heavenly kingdom. But first, kindly bear with us as his remains take a couple of laps at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. Then its over to the KFC drive-thru, and then straig...
Media Approval Ratings: Bob Costas
We once joked that Bob Costas seems like the type of guy who would pee sitting down, but that's a little harsher than our personal opinion toward him really is. He's a St. Louis guy, after all, and it's not everyone who can deal with both Dan Marino and Keith Olbermann....
Presenting The ESPN Intern Application
The mind boggles when one considers the responsibilities of an ESPN intern. (We suspect it's a little more relaxed now that Salisbury's gone.) Fetching coffee is the least of it; we imagine someone having to rub Berman's feet. But what are the qualifications required to become an ESPN intern? What m...
Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity
If Roger Clemens ever tires of heading out there and "defending" "his" name," he's gonna come to the harsh reality that he is, after all, unemployed. As you wonder aloud what he might be qualified to do — we suggest perhaps dry cleaning — the Huntsville Stars, the Double A affiliate for the Milwauke...
Dusty Baker And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance
We think this is the last piece of business we missed during vacation, but it warrants mentioning. We've all kind of missed Dusty Baker from the Major Leagues, haven't we? It just wasn't the same without him and his toothpick in the dugout. (We also missed the epic hit-batsman-brawls that inevitably...