ing Page 1212 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NHL Is NHL 94-izing Highlights
This is Patrick Kane's spin-o-rama from Chicago's 8-1 thumping of the Stars last weekend, given the NHL 94 treatment....
Tree-Poisoner Harvey Updyke Will Spend Six Months In Jail And Five Years On Probation
Harvey Updyke, the Alabama football fan that, in 2010, poisoned two oak trees that figure prominently in Auburn athletic traditions, and then essentially confessed to the act (a Class-C felony in Alabama) unbidden on Paul Finebaum's radio show, accepted a plea deal on Friday. While Updyke will get c...
Will U.S. Soccer Destroy Itself Before World Cup Qualifying Is Through?
Tonight, the U.S. will beat Costa Rica, or it will beat itself. It's game two of the Hexagonal round, in which each team plays every other, home and away. The top three qualify for the 2014 World Cup, while the fourth has to fight the Oceania region's champ for scraps. After one match, the Americans...
Some Cool Guys Showed Up At A Pick Up Game And Did Impromptu Play-By-Play
It's kind of amazing that we haven't seen something like this before, this being the internet and all. Nick and Scott from Hooplaha.com recently took a trip to a public basketball court, and they came equipped with microphones, hilarious fake names, and a spirit for the game of basketball. ...
Help! How Do I Remove Semen Stains From A Glove?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email me....
Harvard's Basketball Team Works Better Than Harvard
Sometimes Harvard Yard literally smells like bullshit. The grass takes a regular beating from the weather and the footsteps of mathematicians eager to find the shortest path to class. So, a few times a year, to spruce it up for the brochures and the visiting parents, the grounds crew gives it a fat ...
After Cheating Allegations, Harvard Stripped Of Four National Titles (In Quiz Bowl)
Good morning, Harvard. You're feeling quite pleased with yourselves today, aren't you? A good old underdog-triumphs-over-preseason-adversity-and-superior-opponent kinda thing happened last night. And to you, of all institutions. Congratulations....
Peter King Making Up To $1.5 Million A Year For "Kinglandia"
It's not exactly ridonkulous but it's good enough....
Fucking Harvard Wins First NCAA Tournament Game, Upsets New Mexico
Prior to tonight, the last time a No. 14 seed beat a No. 3 was 2010 when Ohio beat Georgetown....
All The Angry Emails Sent To UCLA By Fans Who Hated The Ugly New Zubaz-Style Uniforms
Three weeks ago, Adidas rolled out special basketball uniforms for Cincinnati, Kansas, Baylor, UCLA, Louisville, and Notre Dame, to be worn in the teams’ conference tournaments. Each uniform featured Zubaz-like camo shorts, camo shoes, and three of the uniforms—UCLA, Louisville and Baylor—came with ...
Vote, Dipshits: The First Round Of The Curse Word Bracket Continues
We're opening up the Potpourri and Compound Swear Word Regionals for voting now, so go ahead and choose your favorite curse word down below. The first two regions have seen their voting go pretty much according to plan, with a handful of exceptions (like 11-seed "rimjob" beating out 6-seed "clit")....
Cyclist Hits Antelope, Antelope Wins
This week sees the Cape Epic, a 433-mile trek through western South Africa. During Monday's stage, Austrian Robert Mennen had a close encounter with a stupid, stupid antelope that darted out from the bush. His GoPro camera captured the carnage....
The 13 Most Annoying Men Of March Madness
We've done enough loving on March Madness this week. March Madness is a wonderful time of the year, but it is also to be hated on: The fluffy mascots dancing around like they own the place, the pepped-out pep squads cheering like they actually believe in something, the crabby coaches, the clueless a...
Behold: The Ultimate Curse Word Bracket
Swearing is important and cathartic and fun and totally makes you seem hip and edgy when you do it. There's a whole lot of hot, sweaty NCAA tournament action coming up this week, which means there will be plenty of FUCKS and SHITS and GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKERS blurted out across the country as bracket ...