ing Page 1437 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dan Gilbert Is Going To Boil Someone's Bunny
Per Adrian Wojnarowski, recording secretary of the LeBron Jersey-Burning and Chowder Society: The Cavs "have poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into a high-powered Midwestern law firm" to investigate whether the Heat broke tampering rules while pursuing LeBron James. [Yahoo!]...
Oakland Willing To Discard Moneyball For "Slugging First Basemen" Philosophy
Oakland really really wants Lance Berkman. But they'd settle for Adam Dunn. For god's sake, please protect your eyebrows; this is HOTFUCKINGSTOVE....
Explaining The Cam Newton Ruling, As Best We Can
We don't know a heck of a lot right now, since the NCAA and Auburn aren't talking. But we can parse the NCAA's statement and try to break down what happened, and what happens next....
Today In Unfortunately Named Minor League Baseball Teams: The Sugar Land Skeeters
"The team will be known as the Skeeters, which celebrates the hometown love of warm Texas nights and an itch for baseball." They left out "one who ejaculates all over the place." God help that poor mascot. [ABCHouston]...
Cam Newton Ruled Eligible By NCAA
The NCAA has reinstated Newton, after he was secretly declared ineligible yesterday (for procedural purposes after an amateurism violation was determined to have occurred). [NCAA, Birmingham News]...
A Former NFLer On "Laughing" Derek Anderson And The Football Robot Blowhards
On Monday, Derek Anderson was scolded for smiling on camera during the Cardinals' loss to the 49ers, leading to his "Nothing is funny to me" tirade. Ex-NFL player Nate Jackson defends his former colleague from Jon Gruden and all the rest of the "emotionally stunted football pedants."...
Last Night's Winner: A WWF-Themed Wedding, Featuring Howard Finkel
Watch this, and you might actually want to get married. Don't show it to your lady, though, or she might not want to marry you....
Surprisingly Congruous When You Think About It Mixtape Theater: Barry Sanders
Welcome to Surprisingly Congruous When You Think About It Mixtape Theater. Today's entry: Lions great Barry Sanders set to Clint Mansell & The Kronos Quartet's overture from the Requiem For A Dream soundtrack....
In Which We Veer Toward Animal Cruelty In Our Inaugural Lobster Roof Race
We received a LobsterGram, it's less delicious than a candygram, but it's more fun because it comes with live lobsters. We didn't know what to do with them (before cooking them) so we raced them on the Gawker HQ roof deck. Watch....
"Dude Getting Blown By A Dog" Gets Surprising Odds In 2010 SHOTY Awards
Bodog.com summoned one of its bookmakers to analyze the favorites for this year's ridiculous little Sports Human of the Year competition. They are listed after the jump. This for entertainment purposes only. I think....
SHOTY Quarterfinals: No. 3 Karen F. Owen vs. No. 6 Dude Getting Blown By Dog
Oh, if only the dog of Joel Monaghan's Canberra Raiders teammate had somehow made it into Duke. In the interests of research, anyway ......
Happy Belated Birthday Vin Scully, Here's A Great Moment In Live-TV Parachuting History
During that famous Game 6 of the '86 World Series, a Mets fan parachuted onto the field with a "Go Mets" sign and a whole lotta balls. That Vin Scully—who celebrated his 83rd birthday yesterday—made a perfect call is gravy....
Why Is Danny Ainge Dicking Around On His Phone When He Should Be Working?
Last Wednesday, UConn and Kentucky faced off in the Maui Invitational Final. Kemba Walker had blown the tournament up in the previous games and saw his NBA Draft stock rising, so why was Celtics GM Danny Ainge so bored with the proceedings?...
Welp, We're Never Going Swimming Again
An underwater viewing window at a high school pool shattered, sucking a student and an instructor through the broken glass. The student remains hospitalized, but I think we're all traumatized for having read this. [Channel 3000, h/t ArkansasFred]...
In The Future, Even Robots Will Blog About Athlete Dong
StatSheet, a Durham-based company with only nine employees, is developing a network of sports blogs that run entirely on automated content. Their "robot army" is already producing content for all 345 men's college basketball teams. Be afraid, blogosphere....
And Now A Cavalcade Of Dick Puns Related To A Singapore Water Polo Team's Swimsuits
The story: A water polo team were given a dressing down on Thursday for wearing trunks with an ‘inappropriate' likeness of their state flag. Oh it's so lovely to see this ball propped so high on this tee......
Go Listen To Leitch And The FreeDarko Guys Stammer At Each Other Tomorrow
New Yorkers: Leitch is moderating a discussion with the FreeDarko authors from 7-8 p.m. tomorrow at the Strand. Drinks to follow. [NYMag.com, art by Jacob Weinstein via the FreeDarko store]...
Weekend Winner: The Big East, College Sports' Honest Harlot
TCU, a school approximately 400 miles west of the Mississippi, will soon play sports in a conference called the Big East, FanHouse informs. You have to admire the Big East. It never fails to be the hardest-working lapdancer in the room....
Stumbly, Pot-Bellied Redskins Fan And Compatriot Receive Beating At Hands Of Other Redskins Fans
...and then the cops show up and everybody stands around for a few minutes before the person taping confirms that he recorded the whole thing....
University of Maryland Starts First Competitive Eating Team
"Feed the turtle" is the motto of Maryland's competitive eating club, which gained university recognition last week. We're just shocked it wasn't a Big Ten school....