ing Page 1478 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How To Change A Fucking Diaper
In honor of Mother's Day, and with a nod to The Awl, here is your belligerent guide to changing a kid's filth-laden diaper. You're welcome, assholes....

Join Us Monday For A Marathon Live Chat With Will Leitch
Leitch will be taking your questions at 1 p.m. tomorrow — about his book, about whatever — and he says he'll hang around until you have none left. We're gunning for your record, Neyer....

Attack Of The Customized Jerseys Starts Off With A...Bang
Now that baseball season feels officially official, the customized jerseys are becoming more plentiful. If you see one on par with Captain Fingerbang up there, please send it to [email protected]. Subject: Customized Jersey. (H/T A.Heacock)...

Miami University Had The Pukiest, Poopiest, Sexiest Spring Formal Ever
On April 9, 2010, Miami University's Pi Beta Phi fraternity for women held a spring formal at the quaint Lake Lyndsay Lodge in Hamilton, Ohio. The sloppy, slutty details of what transpired that boozy enchanted evening are tremendous....

Brian Cushing's Performance-Enhancing Regimen Was Not Up To Snuff
Oh, now, don't you go trotting out those old photos again to prove a point. Let's have NFL commentator (and MMA warrior!) Jay Glazer yell at him instead: "Yes, livid about Cushing." For commentary longer than 140 characters, read this....

Ted Leonsis: Greatest Owner Ever?
As his first act as owner of the Wizards (and the Verizon Center), Leonsis will take down the Washington Mystics' attendance banners. All the Mystics fans will be chartering a single Volkswagen Golf to drive to the protest. [Ted's Take]...

The Freak-Out Over LeBron's Elbow Begins Now
Ball in Europe, citing a source close to the Cavs: "Apparently, the damage is enough that the right arm of King James ... is having great difficulty in carrying anything heavier than a basketball." The hopes of a city, for instance. [BallinEurope.com]...

Dear Philadelphia Fans: Tase Yo'selves Before You Wreck Yo'selves
It seemed a bit excessive to zap the towel-waving teenage scamp at CBP, but the black hearts of Phillies fans really could use some seizure-causing high voltage right now....

Basketball Playing Dogs A Metaphor For Disorganized AND1-Style Of Play
The Baseline's Eric Freeman thinks these pooches are reenacting the Jazz-Lakers series. Though if Scout, the puppy, does represent the Jazz, there won't be a Game 5. [The Baseline]...

The Ohio State Continues The <em>Glee</em>-ification of America
Reader Dave sends in this video of a flash mob taking over the Ohio Union on Monday. When are people going to learn that extravagant, coordinated routines of obnoxious songs only belong on the NYC Subways?...

Soccer Player Gets Carded For Fatal Heart Attack (UPDATE)
Welp, diving in soccer now has its "boy who cried wolf" moment. The ref showed a collapsed Croatian player a yellow card because he thought he was faking. He wasn't. He was dead....

The "Andrei Kirilenko's Yearly Free Pass Watch" Reaches DEFCON-2
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Short Video About The Snazzy New World Cup Ball
Of course, when football was first invented, it was probably played using sheep bladders wrapped in velvet cloaks, or old fishermen skulls....

A Prayer For Steve Bartman
The following is adapted from Will Leitch's Are We Winning? Fathers and Sons and the New Golden Age of Baseball....

Derby Day Video Recap: A Mad Dash Across Porta-Potty Rooftops, Mudwrestling, And Bad Techno (NSFW)
This year, the drizzly weather made the usual activities along the Churchill Downs infield (portalet runs, women sunning themselves in bikinis) that much more dangerous (slippery portalet runs) and sleazy (women mudwrestling in bikinis). Here's everything you missed....

Peter King Forswears All Brett Favre Predictions, Immediately Makes Brett Favre Prediction
Here's Peter King, instantly forgetting what he thought he thought: "I'm finished predicting what he'll do, because I've been wrong every time I've predicted recently. And if I had to go to Vegas ... I'd bet he plays this fall." [MMQB, KSK]...

<em>Are We Winning?</em> Book "Tour" Details
The last time I did one of those book tour things, it was a massive endeavor that took years off my life. We're dialing it a bit back this time. (Oh, yeah, this book.)...

A Hockey Trucking To End All Hockey Truckings
In Game 3 of the OHL Championship Series last night, Barrie's Darren Archibald decided he didn't even want to play Game 4 and proceeded to check Windsor goalie Philipp Grubauer into the Northwest Territories. Naturally, a fight broke out. H/T Justin....

Here's Another Selection From The Mystifyingly Popular Genre Of Funk-Based Sports Fight Songs
The Cincinnati sports scene and funk music go hand in hand like ... something you had no idea went hand in hand. After seeing the Notre Dame and Reds videos, reader Spencer sent along this Bootsy Collins ode to the 2005 Bengals....

Runaway Democracy Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the seven media members who didn't vote for Lebron James as MVP, showing that you (sort of) can't spell insufferable without "suffrage."...