ing Page 1480 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jason Campbell Traded to the Raiders, LenDale White and Leon Washington Go to the Seahawks
Said Campbell to ESPN: "I talked to [Al] Davis, and he... wants me to help their team to a new level." Presumably Davis meant the 9th level, so he can take over for Lucifer in a frozen lake of ice....
New 49er Taylor Mays Implies Pete Carroll Broke Some Sort of Vague Promise to Draft Him
The second rounder on Carroll's decision to take Texas's Earl Thomas over him with Seattle's 14th pick: "I understand it's a business, but with it being a business, you have to be honest." Wait, isn't that bill still being debated?...
Caps' Player Removes Own Tooth
After catching a stick in the maw during Friday's game against the Habs, Eric Belanger performed a little self-dentistry. He then entered into a gentleman's agreement with Kevin Kennedy to divvy up our girlfriends....
Paralympic Curler Busted For Fake Viagra
Jim Armstrong, the skip of Canada's gold medal winning team, was arrested for trafficking counterfeit erectile dysfunction drugs. Sounds like he was just trying to help other people get their stones in the house. [Vancouver Sun]...
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Yokozuna
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Yokozuna, who died of a heart attack in 2000....
<em>Newsday</em> Sports Section Adopts Strict Policy Of Blowing Sunshine Up Your Ass
Newsday, a collection of tire ads that old people leave lying around diners in Farmingdale, is cracking down on any use of sarcasm or name-calling or "negative characterization" in its corpse of a sports section. To which I say: Brilliant idea, assholes!...
The Clippers, In A Nutshell: Wealthy Incompetent Bickers With Wealthier Incompetent Over $6.75 Million
Mike Dunleavy claims that Clippers owner Donald "Evict the Bitch" Sterling is stiffing him out of a bunch of money that neither of them really deserves. [LAT, via Slam]...
New York Rangers Are Underage Drinkers, Hipster Scum
Sorry, Fauxhemian scum. Anyway, that's Brian Boyle and 20-year-old Michael Del Zotto hitting up a Boston College party after the MGMT concert. Nice Natty Ices, guys. [Watch The Gap Sports]...
Shaq Lip-Syncs To That One Rick Springfield Song, With Puppets
Shaquille O'Neal loves to have fun, and fun is what you get when you mix Shaq, puppets, and Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl." The only thing missing is a Chinese man named Cosmo lighting some fireworks. [Ustream]...
Football Players Get Themselves Charged With Weed Cultivation In Solemn Observance Of Today's Date
Four Louisiana at Lafayette football players were arrested this morning and subsequently suspended indefinitely from the team for alleged cultivation of marijuana. Can't we celebrate Jessica Lange's birthday without the law busting in? [The Advertiser]...
MLB PED Suspension Imminent, Submit Your Wild Speculation PDQ (UPDATE: We Have A Winner)
Rumors say that a "semi-big" Major League Baseball player is about to be suspended for a performance enhancing drug violation. To win the game, you must identify the player, the drug and the ESPN personality they will tearfully "confess" to....
Warning: The Washington Nationals Do Not Advocate Lady Punching
Despite the obviously incomplete picture portrayed in this fraction of a drawing, the Washington Nationals baseball club would like officially go on the record as being against slugging unsuspecting women in the back of the head. That's a relief....
Color Me Fucking Shocked: Dick Vitale Loves Tim Tebow
You had to know Vitale would have a chubby for Tebow, the embodiment of heart. It was inevitable. The college basketball sportscaster chimes in today with an unbearable column about why Tebow should be taken high in the draft....
CRACK BABY VS. AIDS BABY? An Audio Funbag With Adam Carolla
Worlds are colliding, folks. Number one podcaster in the universe Adam Carolla was nice enough to record an audio funbag with us, in which he answers some of your most probing questions....
Fans Oddly Excited To Meet Guy Impersonating Capitals Owner
Not happy with Washington's lackluster first round so far? Blame this guy who sort of looks like Ted Leonsis. [DC Sports Bog/Ted's Take]...
It's Domestic Violence Night At Nationals Park
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogs to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Boston Fan Finally Picks A Winner
After a sweep three straight losses at the hands of Tampa Bay, the Red Sox fall into fourth in the AL East. The Boston media may be panicking, but at least one fan appears to have struck gold....
Night On Ubaldo Mountain
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Stories That Don't Suck, With Special Guest Host
Today, our pal Alex Belth, proprietor of Bronx Banter, is taking the reins. He's selected four stories for your enjoyment....
Victor Conte Leaks "Sugar" Shane Mosley PED Admission
Mosley is suing Conte because he claims he didn't know what was in those injections he was getting from BALCO. That's a little harder to believe after Conte blew up his spot by releasing video of Mosley's deposition....