ing Page 1500 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yankees Hope To Revive Glory Days Of The First Half Of The 2004 ALCS
Javier Vazquez's last start for the New York Yankees left the franchise flying pretty darn high. Everything after that was a bit of a blur, but why not give it another whirl? Watch your hands, because this is a HOTFUCKINGSTOVE!...
The Best <i>Best American Sports Writing</i> Of The Decade
Before the regrettable bulk of sports writing became sportswriting and the Internet emerged as the medium to document the worst of it, one book, every year, nobly set out to chronicle sports writing's best....
Last Night's Winner: Tyreke Evans' Shorts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Sacramento Kings, who showed up two-and-a-half quarters late (like the fans at a Miami Heat game) and still managed to pull out a win....
Favre Is Like A Kid Arguing With His Parents At Toys-R-Us Out There
Fret not, Viking fans. I'm sure the sight of your quarterback arguing with—and then asserting his dominance over—your coach in the middle of Week 15 is no cause for alarm. All Super Bowl champs wilt in December, right?...
Jason Marquis Final Key To The Nationals 20-Year Rebuilding Plan
Those frisky Nats have bolstered their pitching staff by nabbing someone on their wish list and the Mets continue to be enamored with Japanese players. Jayson Stark sports a mighty chub for springtime so you know it's time for HOTFUCKINGSTOVE....
Zach Lund Is Not One Of Those Balding Dudes Who Shave Their Heads Because They Are Like, In Denial About The Bald Thing
Did you know propecia could be used to mask commonly exploited performance-enhancing drugs? But here's why (besides, like, duh?) to "just say no" to this "folly of follicles", courtesy top-ranked "skeleton racer" Zach Lund…...
Redskins Owner Surprisingly Tone Deaf on Issue of Racial Sensitivity
White guy Dan Snyder fired white guy Vinny Cerrato and immediately replaced him with white guy Bruce Allen, so that he can bring in either white guy Mike Shanahan or THIS (white) GUY Jon Gruden. Isn't there some rule...?...
Milton Bradley Will Now Be Mistreated By A New Fan Base
The Chicago sports media trade Milton Bradley to Seattle for the remains of Carlos Silva. Nick Johnson will compete for a spot on the Yankees' disabled list. Ladies and gentlemen, this is HOT FUCKING STOVE....
You Will Be Shocked To Learn The Lingerie Football League Is Not A Classy Operation (UPDATE)
The Smoking Gun has revealed the Lingerie Football League to be a cheap, exploitative outfit that behaves goonishly toward its own athletes, which is acceptable in America only if you're the NFL....
A New, Moderately Offensive Podcast Is Open For Business
Please go take a listen to the Spider And The Henchman show on Adam Carolla's podcast network. I'm honored I was picked to be their first guest. Topics of note: Tiger, Magic's HIV, and Eddie Murphy's tranny parties. Gurgle. [SpiderAndTheHenchman]...
Time To Start Worrying About The Brains Of Hockey Players, If You Weren't Already
Reggie Fleming, a brawling defenseman from hockey's pre-helmet days, died recently at age 73 with the same sort of neurodegenerative disease found in boxers and football players. So now the NHL can pretend to address the issue, too!...
Last Night's Winner: Gamblers (Half Of Them)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who had money riding on a full-strength Indianapolis team actually giving a crap against Jacksonville. If you bet the other way...there's always slot machines....
Nick Johnson Clogs Buster Olney's Bases
Ken Rosenthal thinks the Red Sox will go Gonzo and that Matt Holliday might consider signing with the Orioles because of God. Buster Olney calls Nick Johnson a "base-clogger," which makes me sad. Read on. HOT FUCKING STOVE....
Some Things Are More Important Than Football, But Not In Alabama
Yesterday, we told you about the Alabama lawyers (pictured?) who asked a judge to postpone their case so they can attend the BCS Championship Game. Well, the judge—an Auburn fan!—granted their request. It's a travesty of good sportsmanship....
Vinny Cerrato Gets In One Last Zinger On His Way Out The Door
This morning's winner is apparently the Redskins fans who have finally managed to chase away one half of the dynamic duo that's ruining their lives. Of course, the Joker killed Robin and that didn't stop Batman from kicking his ass....
UF Football Not About To Get Any Classier (Update)
Not for nothing have they garnered the "University of Felons" nickname. I'm not saying a top recruit posing with a gun and $16 is necessarily a crime, but it's not going to change any impressions....
Pitchers Make Everyone Swoon (AND ANGRY!)
Rich Harden signs his life over to Arlington and El Fightins will do the awkward here's-your-jersey presentation with Roy Halladay at 5 p.m. Buster Olney's grinding the Jamey Carroll beat. And why does Buster only follow this dude? HOTFUCKINGSTOVE....
Alabama Fans Hope To Shut Down State For One Week In January
You're probably aware that the University of Alabama has canceled any classes that might possibly interfere with students' drinkingenjoyment of the BCS Championship, but now some lawyers have asked a judge to shut down the state's legal system as well....
Follow In Flip Saunders' Footsteps, If That's What You Want To Do With Your Life
ESPN is teaming up with the Wizards to allow you to design an inbounds play for them. If your submission doesn't immediately lead to a turnover, they'll probably name you head coach. [ESPN]...
And It Appears The Phillies Are Close To Landing Roy Halladay
WHAT? So confused. Three-way trade with Seattle? Cliff Lee to Seattle? Roy Halladay to Phillies? Little people to Toronto? Somebody make some goddamn sense already. [Philly.com]...