ing Page 1499 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dan Snyder, Genius
The Redskins make more money than any other professional sports franchise. This comes as disappointing news to Washington fans who secretly hoped the team would move and they could start over. [Newsweek]...

Once Bitten, Twice Lie
Aaron Rodgers says a Seahawks player bit him when they played last year. Darryl Tapp denies it. This is news because we have to manufacture interest in a Green Bay/Seattle game somehow....

Of Ridiculous Contracts And Insubordination
The two highest paid players in their respective sports threw hissy fits and were sent home. One will play today; one might not play again. Want to guess which is which? (Hint: the one who's actually still good will play.)...

John McCain is Pursuing His Hobbies in His Old Age
Apparently John McCain is a really big boxing fan to the point where HBO wanted him to "mediate the drug testing dispute" between Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather Jr. Can I start hoping for Sarah Palin as ring girl? [ESPN]...

I Was There: Even The Losers Get Lucky Sometimes
There are plenty of decade retrospectives happening everywhere right now, but we'd also like you to participate. Tell us about the best game you've seen in person this decade with the tag #iwasthere. Mine: Patriots at Giants, Week 17!...

Tiger Woods and Mike Wise Cheated on People. Have You?
"I am Tiger Woods," writes Mike Wise in a bracing column in today's Washington Post, "and I have poked fun at his travails because I use humor as camouflage." Not anymore....
![Papa, Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Hockey Players [Canadian Ben Bernanke Update!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f10f85e5j4ajpg.jpg)
Papa, Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Hockey Players [Canadian Ben Bernanke Update!]
Hunky Ottawa hockey player Mike Fisher proposed to Carrie Underwood early this week, breaking Drew Magary's heart/hand. Think those brunettes look jealous now? Ha, wait til they learn how much the ring cost. UPDATE! Meet the "Canadian Ben Bernanke":...

Last Night's Loser: Santa Stan Van Gundy
You know the NBA is pleased with its Christmas tradition when it earnestly compares Shaq and Kobe to Jimmy Stewart and Peter Billingsley. Casting Stan Van Gundy in the role of Scrooge was probably not part of the plan....

Tell Me More, Tony And Eva, Tell Me More!
Is there a better Christmas present than a freshly wrapped copy of Tony Parker and Eva Longoria lip-syncing along to "Summer Nights"? Actually, no. I don't believe there is....

Unfortunately, I Was There
There are plenty of decade retrospectives happening everywhere right now, but we'd also like you to participate. Tell us about the best game you've seen in person this decade with the tag #iwasthere. Mine: Duke-Notre Dame , 2007. Hear me out....

Forrest Gump Really Should Have Grown Up Somewhere Else
Silicon Valley engineers products and then exports them to the rest of the world. The latest innovation: ping-pong-playing robots disguised as small children, built from scratch to ruthlessly dominate the Olympics and win eternal glory for America. U-S-A!...

The Year In... Mutton
So the last month has been chock full of end-of-decade retrospectives in addition to the typical end-of-year remembrances. We'll do our own anyway. Today, to start: mutton-bustin'. Like you expected anything else....

It's So Heartwarming In The D
In case you've forgotten, today is Christmas Day, and if you want to feel all fuzzy about good deeds and peace on earth, just read the Detroit Free Press. No, for real. Ernie Harwell will make your day....

Armed Agent Zero Confuses Wizards With Bullets
We interrupt your Christmas caroling for this: Gilbert Arenas is under NBA investigation for stashing firearms in his locker. Apparently, that might violate the league's gun policy. Plus, Washington D.C. owns strict anti-gun laws. What's the excuse?...

The One Where We Find Out Why This Man Is Having Sex With A Car
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW and NOT SAFE FOR CHRISTMAS.)...

Pretty Boy/Pac-Man Doping Mindgames Go Both Ways
Pacquiao's camp proposed a $10 million payment if either fighter flunks a drug test; Mayweather's people refused. At this point, they can both take horse Viagra for all I care, as long as they shut up and fight. [Examiner]...

Everything You Need To Know About The Coming Minny-pocalypse
"When Favre changes the play at the line of scrimmage Childress bristles, even when the audible Favre calls works perfectly." Chilly's team is on the field. [ESPN]...

Bizarre Recruiting Hoax Fools None, Confuses All
A sad young man is accused of recruiting high school football players for East Carolina—a school he has no affiliation with and that has never heard of him. What could have been the point of this not-so-master plan?...

Last Night's Winner: Shopping Malls
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the megasize temple of commerce that assaulted me with annoying children, terrible seasonal music and then took all my money. You win again, Christmas....

'Double Crown' Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It
The New York Racing Association says it's running low on cash, and might have to close their three tracks. That would mean no Belmont Park. And that would mean no Belmont Stakes....