ing Page 1540 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lance Armstrong Turned Off By Sheryl Crow's Incessant Babymaking Demands
Yes, we know: You've been incontinent with suspense about what rent asunder the sacred ugly-bumping bond between four-hundred-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow, the singer who had that song that time....

Ron Artest Did Not Imagine That Stabbing Story
Some people doubted Ron Artest's table leg stabbing story, but I guess there's this thing called the Internet and some people actually did do the Google to find the truth....

Is Brett Favre Coming Back Out Of Spite?
You didn't think you were getting away with zero Brett Favre news today did you? My favorite angle of the saga? Favre only wants to play again so he can screw with Ted Thompson....

Delaware Still Not As Fun As Las Vegas
Delaware's governor says he will keep fighting to make sports betting legal, even after his wagering bill lost in the state legislature by two votes. I had +3.5, so at least they covered. [Star-Ledger]...

Ron Artest Once Saw A Guy Get Stabbed In The Heart (UPDATE: For Real)
The NBA Playoffs are getting very chippy—even more so—but at least no one has been murdered on court with a broken table leg yet. Because Ron Artest would hate to see that happen....again....

Toledo Athletes Accused Of Point Shaving
Six basketball and football players from the University of Toledo and two men from the Detroit area have been indicted on charges of "conspiracy to commit sports bribery" for shaving points between 2004 and 2006....

Mr. Magary Anxiously Awaits The Arrival Of Brett Favre To His Beloved Vikings
Isn't it great when a player you always rooted for and admired joins your favorite team? Your love of sports is emboldened. This is not one of those instances. [KSK]...

Soccer Player Killed By Lightning, Then Goes On With His Life
Here's another story of deceased soccer fans, only this one has a happy ending, because the kid in question was lucky enough to be raised from the dead....

Bow Down Before Your New Mayor, Detroiters
Piston legend Dave Bing has been elected to serve the remainder of Kwame "Sex Text" Kilpatrick's term as Lord of The D. I hear he plans to move the city to Ontario. [Detroit News; photo]...

And Here We Go Again....Brett Favre-To-Vikings Rumors Get Werder-Ized
Last year's Summer Of Favre hijacked the sports media universe, and this year is shaping up to be more of the same, possibly worse: Yes, Brett Favre is talking to the Vikings....

You Could Be A Heartless Corporate Giant For One Day
The Peoria Chiefs want to sell naming rights for their stadium, but there are no companies left in America with the financial security to finance such a project. So do you have $6,000?...

Albert Haynesworth Sued, But No Hard Feelings
The man injured in a car accident involving Albert Haynesworth is suing the Titans lineman for $7.5 million. "He's the man, but I'm still not mad. I don't have anything against him." [Tennessean]...

Alex and Sid's Dueling Hat Tricks
The NHL got what it wanted—a Crosby/Ovechkin playoff showdown—and the first two games have lived up to the billing. If only they can find a way to make it last longer than two more games....

The Time Is Right For America's Baddest Horse Trainer
Ok, this has been bugging me since Saturday, so I have to ask—was trainer Bennie Woolley Jr. carrying a gun at the Kentucky Derby? (Probably not—but wouldn't it have been great if he had been?)...

Austrian Hockey Players Will Question Your Sexuality In Perfect English
Austria lost to Denmark in a Hockey World Championship qualifier last week, but at least Oliver Setzinger got a chance to get to know his fans and their preferences for fellatio....

And The 2009 Brian Baldinger Award Goes To...Torry Holt
The former Rams' wide receiver instills confidence in his catching ability in front of a confused Jacksonville press corps. [With Leather]...

John Wall Declaring Early For Life Of Crime
Number One basketball super recruit John Wall has not yet decided what college he will pretend to get an education at for one semester, but perhaps he just needs trespassing time to think about it....

Even The Owner Of The New York Islanders Doesn't Like His Team
Nine years ago, businessman Charles Wang thought he would do Long Island a solid and buy their Islanders so the team could stay in Nassau County. Now? He kinda wishes he could have a do-over....

The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent And Depraved
Everyone knows the real fun of the Kentucky Derby happens in the stands and infield, not on the track. See the shenanigans you missed out on after the jump....