ing Page 1658 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chris Cooley's Gonna Have A Hot Wife
And now, boys and girls, it's time for a love story. It may resemble one you yourself have encountered, except this one involves people prettier than you. It's a story we've all heard: boy meets girl, girl is a cheerleader, boy meets another cheerleader, girls lose jobs because of boy, boy wins back...
Titans To Pacman: You Shant Pretend Wrestle
When we last left our intrepid yet suspended NFL hero, which was yesterday, we were speculating the possibility of wrestlers exacting revenge on Pacman Jones for what one of Jones' lackeys did to a strip club bouncer-slash-wrestling hopeful. So either the Tennessee Titans are afraid something might ...
He's A LumberJax And He's OK
Now you, too, can have a career in professional lacrosse. Just marry the owner! It's easy, and will result in absolutely no ribbing in the team locker room for years to come....
The OTHER Cardinals Story From Yesterday
Say what you will about the Cardinals, but they know how to handle PR. Postseason stud and cult hero needs to go to rehab for substance abuse? Hey, bring up Ankiel! A happy story to drown out the ugly one. And it absolutely worked....
How To Make Golf More Fun
If you know anything about me, then you know that I have traditionally refused to do posts about streakers ... unless there is a humorous slogan written above their butt. This is a pretty good one (we also would have accepted "Captain's Choice"), and he also earns points for covering his genitals wi...
Violation At The Bottom Of The Pile
In case you missed your weekly glance at the CFL transactions wire, Edmonton Eskimos linebacker A.J. Gass was suspended for one game after he threw an opponent's helmet across the field. (Mercifully, his head wasn't in it.)...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as tiny woodland creatures help with the housework ... • Boxing: Joe "Not Especially Mean" Green vs. Darryl "Fish Face" Salmon, for the NABA middleweight title, at Hollywood, Fla. [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at New York Mets [ESPN]; Chicago Cubs at Houston. Why must you tease your fans so, ...
Wait ... What's Sunday Night Again?
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Yao Ming's Fantasy Wedding
Rockets center Yao Ming got himself hitched yesterday — or today, or whatever the hell the time change makes the actual date — in front of 70 onlookers and about 100 media people hanging out in the lobby waiting for interviews. It must be so odd to have people wanting to interview you after your wed...
Our One Moment Of Grace, Coming From A Guy Who Pees On Teammates
As Barry Bonds goes to finally break the record this weekend, we hark back to the only real revelatory moment of this "chase:" Greg Maddux's performance against Bonds on Friday night....
You Threadjackin' It?
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....
Solicit Like A Champion
We know that Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis is infinitely more popular than Tyrone Willingham ever was (even though they have pretty much the same record at the university). But it's possible he was paying too much attention to his gastric bypass surgery than his players' well-being, because one of t...
Greg Oden is Exceedingly Likeable
Today's issue of the Oregonian includes a revealing feature on Blazers rookie Greg Oden. Joe Freeman does an excellent job conveying his subject's personality to the reader and even the Buckeye hater in me can't help but lighten up. It's not the first article to praise the young star but it does cov...
Vazquez Punishes Marquez While Diaz Retires Morales
Nobody thought that Israel Vazquez could be ready for his rematch against Rafael Marquez just five months after he took that battering. Freddie Roach, Vazquez's highly regarded trainer in that fight, declined to train him for the rematch if he was going to fight just four months after major surgery...
Television! Teacher, Mother, Secret Lover
• 1:00 — Golf: Ricoh Women's British Open, Final Round from St. Andrews [ABC] • 1:00 — Golf: WGC Bridgestone Invitational, Final Round from Firestone [CBS] • 2:00 — NASCAR: Nextel Cup: Pennsylvania 500 from Pocono Raceway [ESPN] • 2:00 — Movie: Fletch [AMC] • 3:00 — Tennis: Andy Roddick vs. John Isn...