ing Page 1709 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
At Least He Hasn't Shown Up At Training Camp Yet
New Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver Matt Jones is a bit of a mystery to many NFLers; he has almost unnatural physical gifts, but no one is sure he will make the transition to the pro game. Fortunately, for only $350, you can answer the question about one section of his physical gifts: What's hi...
Smith's Terror Begins In Less Than Two Weeks
We are but nine days away from the launch of NBA "analyst" Stephen A. Smith's "Quite Frankly With Stephen A. Smith," the new live-studio chat show, or, as we like to call it, "What The Hell Is Wrong With The Treble On This Television?" Smith, whose wide-eyed stare straight into the camera makes u...
ESPN Angers Non-Crack Addict Mayor
From the signs your mayor has too much time on his hands department (and/or is a serious masochist), District of Columbia mayor Anthony Williams is pissed that ESPN isn't taking its road show to the nation's capital. Even worse, he offered to show ESPN bloviator Chris Berman around town....
ESPN Spreads Its Terror Across The Land
Those who were up to watch SportsCenter this morning know that ESPN's already obnoxious "50 States, 50 Days" promotion has begun. The idea, in case it hasn't been sucked down into your soul by now, is that SportsCenter will be at a different location every day for the next 50 days, or pretty much ju...
F1 CEO Proves To Best Cro-Magnon Boss In The Business
Until about a week ago, you'd probably never heard of Bernie Ecclestone. This is because you're probably an American, and you don't pay any attention to Formula One Racing, the organization Ecclestone is the president and CEO of. A friend of ours who knows Formula One much better than we do says E...
The Continued Annoyance Of Smart People
What is it about boxing that makes academic and political types all weak in the knees? We think it's because you have to, you know, be a man to be a boxer. Overeducated wonks envy boxing because they work their way up the chain through their pals, their daddies, their fraternity brothers. The man-...
Now Fighting In The Flockhart Division
Anybody else find it amazing that this guy punches people for a living?...
Tyson Suicide Watch Continues
We really can't handle another Mike Tyson story that's about his damn birds. Yes. We know. He smashes people's heads into mush for a living, he's self-destructive, he's served time for rape, yet he's really into birds. We get it. It's supposed to mean something. It's, like, a metaphor, you see. US...
Roy Jones Jr. Knows How To Party
Man. We should have totally been a boxer. Our parties usually involve Risk....
Black Nascar
While doing some research this afternoon on the hiring of Jimmie Lee Solomon as MLB's new executive vice president of baseball operations, we came across a site we hadn't seen before: BlackAthlete.net. The goal of the site seems noble enough; they're trying to support the hiring and promotion of bla...
Bidding For Danica
We find it encouraging that a female athlete could be a part of a bidding war — and Playboy isn't involved at all. Word has started to rumble (can word "rumble?") that Nascar could make a play for young Danica. She'd certainly have to sing at Wrigley "Stadium" better than Jeff Gordon did....
Fat Drivers Whine
Last week, before the Indianapolis 500, Nascar dolt Robby Gordon said it was unfair that Danica Patrick was so light, saying she had a natural advantage for speed, being so spindly. We found this amusing, because once we find the one advantage women have over men in the world of sports, some idiot...
For Background Purposes, Honest
Just in case you thought Danica Patrick was a brand new phenomenon, FHM proudly proclaims that it had pictures of her months ago. So we link them to you, for research purposes. We missed the Rusty Wallace spread; our subscription to Beer Gut just ran out....
Danica Mania: The Aftermath
Like a lot of people, we were on the couch Sunday, cheering on Danica Patrick — and, perhaps even more so, David Letterman — at the Indianapolis 500. A friend of ours was asking us the other day, perplexed, whether or not we found Danica Patrick physically attractive; we said that he was wrong to ...
Kwan Excited About Choking Again
We don't pay much attention to figure skating — obviously — but we have always been amused and befuddled by the intense popularity of Michelle Kwan. (We once knew a grown woman who had pictures of her all over her wall. She was a sensitive sort.) Yesterday, Kwan announced that she will participate...
In Manhattan, This Could Get Him A One-Bedroom With A Working Toilet
Mike Tyson, whose debt is larger than most third-world nations' GDPs, has bought a $2.1 million home in Arizona. He is scheduled to fight another stiff white guy in June in Washington, D.C. So that's fun. We're still waiting for Little Mac to challenge him again....
Even Jeff Gillooly Is Starting To Feel A Little Sick
Harding Ready For Next Fight [Boxing Talk]...
David Letterman: Nascar Dad
Like any right-minded American male between the ages of 24 and 54, we grew up loving David Letterman. And native Indianaian Letterman grew up loving the Indianapolis 500, culminating in his co-ownership of the Bobby Rahul Racing Team, which employs hot commodity Danica Patrick in this weekend's r...
Lineup Set For Lingerie Bowl III
In case Paul McCartney doesn't do it for you anymore, the happy folks who organize Lingerie Bowl III have announced their lineup for this year's Pay-Per-View extravaganza. Jenny McCarthy and Cindy Margolis are the biggest names, and the organizers are optimistic. The significant drop in this past...
Oh, And We Shall Make You Carry The Mules On Your Back As Well
China Expects Yao To Play On National Team Again (China Daily)...