ing Page 616 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Celtics Appear To Be In The Deepest Of Doo Doo
The Celtics are left with a couple bad omens from Game 4, which ended Monday night with Boston fans booing their team off the court at the end of a pivotal 113–101 loss. Apart, that is, from the fact that the Bucks are now in a commanding 3–1 series lead, with Game 5 back in Milwaukee, where the Buc...
The Kentucky Derby Proves That Even The Losers Get Lucky Sometimes
Horse racing had replay before everybody else. But that side of the allegedly perpetually declining sport was never in the spotlight so much as it was Saturday, when Churchill Downs stewards took their time before taking a Kentucky Derby win away from Maximum Security on a foul claim....
Ken Holland Comes To Edmonton With Something To Prove
Ironically, the Edmonton Oilers’ signing of Ken Holland as their new GM has all the hallmarks of Holland’s recent moves in Detroit. You know, the ones that made Red Wings fans so excited to see Steve Yzerman arrive back home last month. Edmonton giving so much money—a reported $25 million over the n...
The Big Wet President Blames Kentucky Derby Result On PC Police
Given the fact that Donald Trump could probably name every host of Fox & Friends in chronological order before he could name one Supreme Court justice he didn’t nominate, it should come as no surprise that our doughboy president chose to weigh in on the video replay controversy at the Kentucky Derby...
The Kentucky Derby Was Decided By Some Video Replay Bullshit
For a brief moment on Saturday, Luis Saez felt an immense happiness that can only overcome someone that has achieved one of the greatest accomplishments of their life. He had won the Kentucky Derby with his horse, Maximum Security, by one-and-a-half lengths and spoke about how the victory was a drea...
The Vikings Got Another Player To Ditch The Jets With A $75K Signing Bonus
Wide receiver Jeff Badet spent last season on the Minnesota Vikings’ practice squad with no clear indication of what his future with the team would be. It wasn’t until the Jets came creeping around for the player going into his second season that the Vikings demonstrated just how much they valued Ba...
The Nationals Are Having A Hard Time Adjusting To Their Self-Imposed Mediocrity
The 13–17 Washington Nationals made the oddly timed decision Thursday night to fire pitching coach Derek Lilliquist, immediately following a 2–1 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals. The Nationals hold the 23rd-ranked team earned run average in baseball, thanks largely to another putrid, horrifying ...
Caster Semenya Wins Final 800-Meter Race Before The IAAF Can Start Discriminating Against Her
For the 30th straight time on the track, Caster Semenya won an 800-meter race. The South African runner led from the gun at today’s Diamond League meet in Doha, Qatar, winning by 2.77 seconds with a 1:54.98 result, the fourth-fastest time of her career....
Fox News Completely And Predictably Botches Report On Caster Semenya
South African runner Caster Semenya is not transgender. Fox News either could not get this fact right, or willfully misrepresented this fact so it could whip up outrage from its audience of shut-ins who have been ostracized from their families because of their devotion to getting all their news from...
ESPN's Tim Legler Loses It After His Phone Stops Working During Stephen A. Smith's Show
ESPN NBA analyst Tim Legler had a bit of trouble delivering his takes about the remaining playoff series when he joined Stephen A. Smith’s show this afternoon. Legler was in the middle of praising Khris Middleton when Smith cut him off to tell him he couldn’t hear him. Unbeknownst to Legler, viewers...
Who's Living In Whose Head Rent-Free Lately?
The phrase “living rent-free in your head” has lived rent-free in my head for some time. Though it was once relegated to self-help types and the very reddest trolls, its usage has expanded in recent months. In the first roundup, we surveyed a distressing variety of skull realty around the world. As...
Why Are Good Young Racehorses Ending Up As Meat 7,000 Miles Away?
Two years in the life and death of a racehorse:...
Jordan Binnington Finally Looks Nervous
He’s played in fewer than 50 NHL games, but St. Louis Blues goalie Jordan Binnington has already become famous for his unflappability. His call-up from the AHL and run as the starter beginning in January was the spark that completely turned the Blues’ awful season around. The 25-year-old was magic f...
Twins' Jonathan Schoop Smashes Baseball Into The Damn Kuiper Belt
They say a massive asteroid will zoom within 20,000 miles of Earth in the year 2029. Perhaps this “asteroid” is in fact the mighty dinger of some titanic batsman from elsewhere in our galaxy. You can’t rule it out! At any rate it is no doubt in the spirit of such intragalactic exchange that Minnesot...
Report: Rich Dickwads Are Freaking Out About More Potential College Admissions Bribery Charges
Here is just an extremely satisfying paragraph, from a delightful New York Times report about Los Angeles “elites” enduring “ripples of fear” as prosecutors progress toward another round of charges against as-yet unidentified parents who participated in the college admissions bribery scheme with The...
Robert Kraft Might Appear In A Courtroom After All
Palm Beach County Judge Leonard Hanser ordered Robert Kraft to appear in court at an upcoming hearing scheduled in the New England Patriots owner’s criminal case. Kraft is charged with two counts of misdemeanor solicitation of prostitution after he was one of about two dozen men caught in a Jupiter ...
Sports Radio Caller Is Absolutely Furious That Dwayne Haskins Is Tarnishing Joe Theismann's Number
Former Ohio State QB and first-round pick Dwayne Haskins has a good chance at starting for the Skins this season, as all he has to do is beat out Colt McCoy and Case Keenum for the job. Haskins joins a team that has started 27 quarterbacks in 27 seasons since its last Super Bowl win, but he doesn’t ...
The NBA Got Out Of Basketball's Way
When Allie LaForce was dispatched to get a postgame interview from Tuesday’s Rockets-Warriors game, she or maybe her producer chose the sport’s third eye, Klay Thompson. Not bad, as these things go. Thompson is always a better choice than nearly anyone else for these say-little-and-then-go-inside se...
Justin Gimelstob Steps Down From ATP Board
Justin Gimelstob, the highly connected tennis figure with a long history of alleged violence, is resigning from his post on the ATP board of directors. Gimelstob felt he had become “too much of a distraction and a liability,” he told the New York Times from Madrid, where he had flown to personally d...
Brad Marchand Has Given Up Being Creatively Annoying And Just Punched A Guy In The Back Of The Head
The truly frustrating thing about Brad Marchand is that he’d be a star without all the bullshit. He’s on the top line of the team with the best odds to win the Cup because he’s really, really good at hockey, not because of the other stuff. It’s just that the other stuff—“pest” feels insufficient to ...