ing Page 787 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Love Trucks. Do You Love People? 

Donald Trump loves trucks, I guess. Also, the trucking industry is poised to be decimated by technological change. Here we have an opportunity. ...

Here's A Good Idea: Curling, But With Cars

Have you ever watched curling and thought, man, this is great, but what if the stones were replaced with Soviet-era cars? A Russian insurance agent has! Here is the debut of the resulting sport, from last week:...

Trolled By The Cops

Ryan Zimmerman Shimmies Around To Miraculously Avoid Tag

Ryan Zimmerman showed off his scrambling skills to somehow avoid what should have been a pretty straightforward Brian McCann tag at home plate in today’s spring training game against the Astros: ...

Basketball Fans Treated To Ads Congratulating Republicans For Repealing Obamacare [UPDATES]

Basketball fans tonight in several Republican-adjacent TV markets are enjoying a series of ads, prematurely bought by the American Action Network PAC, inviting viewers to call their representatives to thank them for repealing Obamacare today—something that did not happen. ...

In Defense Of Skyline Chili, The Good Kind Of Diarrhea Sludge<em></em>

“You really want the green noodles?” asked the seemingly amazed young man taking my order....

Actually, The Huskies Didn't Want Michael Porter Jr. Anyway, Says Local Columnist<em></em>

Washington Huskies head basketball coach Lorenzo Romar was fired shortly after finishing a soggy 9-22 campaign, the worst in his 14 years at the helm, despite having the likely No. 1 overall pick (Markelle Fultz) in the upcoming NBA Draft. This seemingly non-controversial decision was made much more...

Sidney Crosby Slashed Marc Methot's Fingertip Off

Marc Methot came into tonight’s game against the Penguins with 10 fingers. He left with approximately 9.8 after Sidney Crosby slashed at him in the first period....

Neymar Beat Uruguay's Keeper With A Devilish Little Chip Shot

In a World Cup qualifying match tonight, Neymar scored a very cheeky goal to put Brazil up 3-1 against Uruguay. When the ball leaves his foot, it looks like he might have skied it, but it dips under the crossbar, landing just over the line. (Take care to note Miranda’s assist on this goal, too.)...

Jake Arrieta Jacks Longest-Ever Measured Dinger By A Pitcher<em></em>

Jake Arrieta stepped up to the plate for the first time at spring training this afternoon and he promptly picked up where he left off last year, smashing a Zack Greinke pitch 465 feet off into the stands. This is the longest dinger by a pitcher in the Statcast-era. It would have been one of the 25 l...

Skins Finally Do Something Right, Propose An End To Those Ugly Color Rush Jerseys

Thursday Night Football is the NFL at its worst. Between the half-rested players and the blindingly ugly uniforms, it’s no wonder that Richard Sherman characterized it as a “poopfest.” Two years ago, the NFL made teams play in monochromatic Nike “Color Rush” jerseys for the express purpose of sellin...

The Wizards Need Rest More Than Anybody But Might Be Too Dumb To Take It

Here is how long the NBA season is: Long enough for the Washington Wizards to have gone from a bad team with a good starting five and an atrocious bench, to a good team with a great starting five and an atrocious bench, to a dark-horse Finals pick with a great starting five and a good bench, to a st...

Asdrubal Cabrera Got Ejected While Running To First

Spring training is a long, monotonous motherfucker, and playing meaningless games day after day appears can fry the patience of players and umps alike. During the fourth inning of a game between the Mets and the Nationals this afternoon, Asdrubal Cabrera managed to get himself ejected in the middle ...

Humorless Dickhole Business Writer Very Upset About March Madness Pools<em></em>

As much as we here at Deadspin like to poke fun at sportswriters and political hot-take artists, the truth is that business journalists may be the lowliest scum of all. We’re all horrified by Darren Rovell, and yet there’s only ONE of him in sports. Really, that man is just a business reporter in sp...

Soccer Player Who Thanked Both Wife And Girlfriend After Game Digs Hole Deeper

South African Premier League player Mohammed Anas told on himself last week, when he thanked his wife and his girlfriend in a postgame interview. He has since tried to explain himself, and he didn’t do a very good job....

Internecine Broadcast Conflict Breaks Out During Pirates Spring Training Game

During today’s spring training game between the Pirates and Rays, the Pirates broadcast team decided to try a fun experiment. The TV and radio color commentators (Steve Blass, Bob Walk, and John Wehner) would handle the TV broadcast, while the guys who usually do play-by-play on the radio (Joe Block...

Bill Simmons Shows Entire World His Ass

You wanna see some petty shit? Here’s some extremely petty shit:...

Mario Balotelli Missed Start Of Match Because He Tied His Shoes Too Tight

Mario Balotelli’s blistering start to his career in Nice has cooled off some of late. No doubt eager to get back to scoring ways, Balotelli tied his boots nice and tight before stepping out onto the field against Nantes this weekend. Only he soon realized he’d tied them too tight and had to get a co...

Hockey Players Scuffle, Serve Penalties, Leave Box, Immediately Fight For Real

Kings winger Jarome Iginla and Oilers forward Patrick Maroon finished the first period of Monday’s game with matching minor penalties for roughing, after the two got into a shoving match near the Los Angeles goal. Iginla and Maroon were able to stew over the course of a full intermission, so when th...

I Can't Stop Watching This Video Of Infuriating Fuck-Ups<em></em>

You know how when you’re scrolling through Facebook, and you happen upon one of those top-down videos that shows a pair of hands creating some sort of delicious food or craft, and then you get stuck watching it for three or four minutes, not because you are especially interested in how to make pinea...