ing Page 965 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Closed Captioning Goes Insane During Fox NASCAR Broadcast
Reader Doug noticed last night that the closed captioning for Fox Sports 1's NASCAR broadcast "seemed to be drunk." Sure enough, midway through the second race at Daytona the captioning suddenly started spitting out repeated misspellings of various MLB stars' names. This went on for more than five m...

Adrian Peterson Mad At Minnesota's Lack Of Support
Remember when Adrian Peterson got indicted for hitting his kid? According to a recent interview with ESPN, Peterson honestly might not....

ESPN's Dan Rafael Seems Like He Could Use A Nap
ESPN boxing writer Dan Rafael is, as our own Iron Mike Gallego has long enjoyed pointing out, a stooge and a nitwit, but the run-up to the announcement of the long-delayed Floyd Mayweather/Manny Pacquiao bout has revealed something else about him: Like much of the rest of the boxing media but even m...

Report: MLB Will Implement Three New Rule Changes To Speed Up Games
The verdict from Major League Baseball's pace-of-game committee is in, and according to Fox Sport's Ken Rosenthal, tomorrow MLB will announce three rule changes designed to speed up games:...

CNN's Don Lemon Says "Bullshit" On-Air, Offers Ridiculous Apology
Human moron and CNN personality Don Lemon has a lot to atone for, but his use of "bullshit" on-air tonight while talking to Reliable Sources host Brian Stelter isn't one of them. That didn't stop the drooling idiot from profusely apologizing for saying the word—he was quoting Bill O'Reilly, anyway—o...

At Long Last The 76ers Accept That, Yes, It's Finally Time To Rebuild
You can imagine the bittersweet mixture of sadness, gratitude, and relief 76ers fans must be feeling this evening. Today, in a flurry of moves executed just before the NBA's annual trading deadline, general manager and president of basketball operations Sam Hinkie finally pulled the plug on a belove...

Even God Cheats: How Anderson Silva Shocked Us By Doing The Expected
The Nevada State Athletic Commission is a bumbling, soulless government agency, and so a strange agent for the delivery of the message that our gods have forsaken us. They never have been particularly diligent messengers in any event, but for whatever reason—bureaucracy, incompetence, something more...

Mario Balotelli Does Selfish, Swaggy Thing, Wins Game For Liverpool
Liverpool were hosting Turkish side Beşiktaş in the European Soccer NIT today, and it was scoreless until Liverpool young cock Jordon Ibe was tripped up in the box in the 85th minute. Penalty! Captain-for-the-day Jordan Henderson picked up the ball and walked to the spot, which is when hero and burg...

<i>The Running Man</i>'s Goofy, Violent Dystopia Hasn't Arrived Yet, Alas
Right around New Year's Day, I saw a bit of online chatter pointing out that we were entering the year depicted in Back to the Future II, and that to our great disappointment, we still don't have hoverboards or '80s-themed diners. Tragic as that may be, I'm more concerned that we're now only two yea...

That Looks Like A Pretty Dumb Workout Routine, RGIII
I'm not a personal trainer or anything, but I feel like dragging tires down the road via twine that you have looped around your ankles is not a super good idea, man. ...

How To Quit Your Job To Be A Better Feminist (And Parent)
Four years ago, I quit my high-profile, lucrative law job. ...

Wait, Jesus Christ, There's A Different Ball Scandal? What The Fuck?
Have you been following the latest developments in the investigation into the use of shady balls during the AFC Championship? Probably not, because you're normal and football's over and it's all so confusing. But listen a second: this new stuff is weird....

Kevin Garnett Is Going Back To Minnesota, And That's Cool
The NBA trade deadline has led to a few exciting trades, but none have been more fun than the one that will send Kevin Garnett back to the Timberwolves....

Seth Davis Promotes His Mom's Hoax Cancer Cures
There have never been more options for those convinced that the medical establishment is hiding secrets from them. Look at the Google ads running down the sidebar of just about any website you visit, and you're almost certain to see ads about "natural" cures—gluten-free diets and alkaline water, s...

Are Outdoor Hockey Games Really Sloppier?
On Saturday the San Jose Sharks will host the Los Angeles Kings at Levi's Stadium in what will be the 15th outdoor regular season game in NHL history. With the number of outdoor games on a steady rise, there's an open and important question of whether or not the quality of play differs between indoo...

Giant Shrieking Raven Occupies Levi's Stadium, All Is Lost
The entire Western seaboard is being evacuated today, after an NHL webcam captured what appears to be an enormous bird the size of a football field interrupting the rink construction for Saturday's Kings-Sharks game. It is too late for humanity; surely the black death shall devour us all. Should the...

Golden Tate Wishes Russell Wilson Would Quash That Wife-Fucking Rumor
The rumor about former Seahawks wide receiver Golden Tate having boned down with Russell Wilson's then-wife is internet lore at this point, and it's something that Tate is probably going to be asked about for the rest of his life....

A Lawsuit Threatens The Future Of The Court Of Arbitration For Sport
German Claudia Pechstein is the most successful speed skater ever. She won a medal in five consecutive Olympics from 1992 to 2006—nine medals overall, five of them gold—and might've made it six straight had she not been banned by the International Skating Union (ISU) for two years in 2009, for blood...

Jay Williams Misremembers Playing Duke-UNC Game Against Vince Carter
Jay Williams attempted to explain the experience of playing in a Duke-UNC rivalry game to ESPN's audience tonight, though in his attempt to name-drop some of the Tar Heels players he faced as a member of the Blue Devils, he mentioned Vince Carter—a player who was already in the NBA by the time Willi...