ing Page 972 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Boxer Jermain Taylor Ordered To Undergo Mental Evaluation
Middleweight boxer Jermain Taylor, the current IBF middleweight champion, has been ordered to undergo an evaluation at a state mental hospital by an Arkansas judge, according to the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. This order comes on the heels of two sets of criminal charges being brought against Taylor,...

Barry Trotz On Possibly Misguided Quest To Keep Tiger At Columbus Zoo
According to a series of tweets from Aaron Portzline—the Blue Jackets beat reporter for The Columbus Dispatch—Washington Capitals coach Barry Trotz is trying to prevent an Amur (Siberian) tiger named Foley from being transferred from the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium to the Kansas City Zoo. You see,...

The Current 800-Meter World Record Holder Is 62 Today
The IAAF, always conscious of doing the right thing, tweeted greetings to Czech mid-distance runner Jarmila Kratochvilova on the occasion of her 62nd birthday. The photo they used, above, is from 1983, commemorating another remarkable anniversary: Kratochvilova's world record in the 800 meters, 1:5...

The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Semifinals Start NOW. VOTE!
You God-damned animals voted Ridged Chips out? In favor of Kettle Chips??? What kind of perversion is this? Fine, you know what? Go scratch, more Ruffles for me....

How To Win A Swordfight
Let's say a gentleman scandalizes your lady at a bar. Rude, right? Let's say he poisons your father to get closer to your mother. Ruder, I'd say. But what're you gonna do about it? Today, such matters are usually resolved via graceless brawls involving a combination of wrestling and hair-pulling. ...

Please Laugh At This Soccer Team Struggling To Win A Fixed Game
Late on in this match in the Albanian Superliga, Flamurtari found itself tied with Teuta, 1-1. In a non-fixed game, you'd expect Teuta to protect their goal and maybe push on for the winner. Instead, we see the shameless display above, with Teuta all but begging their opponents to score, and Flamurt...

I Can't Stop Watching John Wall Chop The Nuggets With This Slick Pass
John Wall was at his very best last night in Denver: hanging 19 points and 16 assists on the Nuggets, snatching the endgame away with a flurry of buckets and assists, doing that John Wall thing where the court and the basket and all the players start to seem like a big circuitboard and the ball is...

Best. Vacuum. EVER: A Guide To Ignoring The NFL Pro Bowl
It will be hard—achingly hard, if not nigh-impossible—for you, a committed sports fan, to divert your attention away from the luminous spectacle of competitive purity that is the 2015 NFL Pro Bowl, presented by McDonald's....

Brandon Jennings Leaves Game With Suspected Torn Achilles
Detroit star point guard Brandon Jennings left last night's game against the Bucks after suffering what appeared to be a painful third-quarter ankle injury. Woj is now reporting the Pistons fear Jennings suffered a torn Achilles tendon and that his season is over....

ESPN's Chad Ford Has Been Retroactively Editing Draft Boards For Years
This website has been using ESPN NBA analyst Chad Ford as a punching bag for nearly ten years. And we don't feel a bit sorry for it after discovering tonight (upon unearthing by those Reddit rapscallions) that Ford has been retroactively re-ranking his NBA draft boards years after the fact....

How To Bake Bay Scallops, And Prove That Size Isn't Everything
Seems like bay scallops get kind of a raw deal, doesn't it? At my local purveyor of seafoods, the big honkin' fist-sized sea scallops get a place of honor in the glass display case, while the bay scallops are stuck over in the freezer across the way, packed by the dozens into grim plastic bags, f...

Phoenix As Fuck
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Nuggets Guard Ty Lawson Arrested On Suspicion Of DUI
According to 9 News Colorado, Nuggets point guard Ty Lawson was arrested early this morning for a suspected DUI....

The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Divisional Finals Are Upon Us. VOTE!
Big Peanut took a page out of Big Avocado's playbook, attempting to throw my bracket by ginning up Twitter support. Big Peanut did not succeed....

This Glorious Goober Will Blow Your Mind With His Sick Archery Skills
This video is nearly six minutes long. I understand that asking you, dear reader, to watch a six-minute video of some dude doing archery tricks in his garage and the woods by his house is a tall order, but you need to do this. You need to watch Lars Andersen, master of ancient and long-forgotten bow...

Washington Logo Digitally Removed In New Ad
This ad, part of the "Change the Mascot" campaign and funded by the National Congress of American Indians and the Oneida Nation, is really subtle—you don't notice until well into it that the logo is missing players' helmets and from the end zone....

Celtics Beat Trail Blazers On Sloppiest Game-Winner Of The Year
Down two to the Trail Blazers with under 10 seconds remaining, the Celtics were relying upon Jared Sullinger to get them a crucial basket. That should tell you all you need to know about how good they are, that Brad Stevens looked up and down his bench for his best option and settled upon Sullinger....

The NFL Will Have Three Quadruple-Headers Next Season
You knew it was coming—and it's sure to be polarizing—but the NFL has announced that its three London games in 2015 will kick off at 9:30 a.m. Eastern. Which means three different fall Sundays will offer four football games in a row. Your body is not ready....

The Future Song "Peacoat" Is About Fashion And Peeing On A Girl
Atlanta rapper Future and beloved veteran producer Zaytoven just put out a great new mixtape called Beast Mode. It includes a song called "Peacoat," which is about both high fashion and watersports, because hip-hop wordplay is alive and well! ...
