it Page 1044 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
God Smites The Manchesters Because England Sucks
England, man. Their clubs spend all that money on some of the best players in the world, get all that media hype about being the best league in the world, and right as you start to buy into it all they meet a couple underdogs from Europe and prove yet again that England isn’t as good as it’s made ou...
Indians' Fireworks Guy Accidentally Sets Them Off For Royals HR
You had one job....
Man City's Vincent Kompany Uses Juventus Defender's Head To Score Goal
Hehehe! This is basically the soccering equivalent of the old “Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!” trick....
![Man Utd's Luke Shaw Suffers Gruesome, Leg-Breaking Tackle [WARNING: GRAPHIC]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1431963662981963334.jpg)
Man Utd's Luke Shaw Suffers Gruesome, Leg-Breaking Tackle [WARNING: GRAPHIC]
Manchester United full back Luke Shaw had to be carted off the pitch in the first half of their Champions League match against PSV, on a count of a busted leg thanks to the tackle you can see below. Here’s a GIF of Shaw’s flopping leg, which, you’ve been warned, is pretty gnarly:...
Manchester City Are Soaring In England; Now They Must Fly As High In Europe
Manchester City appear to be on the precipice of something great. Years of unstinting investment by their rich owners has already paid off domestically in the form of two Premier League titles in four seasons, plus what in all likelihood will be a third come the end of the current campaign. But any ...
I Found <i>Purity</i>'s First Honest Paragraph, On Page 66
When last we met, Jonathan Franzen had mucked up the early pages of his novel Purity with repeated appraisals of the sex appeal of his main character, Pip. I was creeped out, but leaving room for the possibility that Franzen might be up to something that would redeem—or at least make some sense of—a...
Someone Finally Completed <i>American Ninja Warrior</i>'s Final Course
American Ninja Warrior, a sort of modern and souped-up version of American Gladiators, has been on TV for seven seasons without anyone ever making it to Stage 4 of Mt. Midoriyama—let alone completing it. Until tonight....
Pole Vault For Dummies
In a mall, on the street, with a train, up twenty feet... Sam I am. The recent rash of wacky vault venues inspired Seuss-ism, and more successfully, a class in how to catapult one’s* body over an 18-foot high bar....
Marcus Mariota Looked Fantastic
The second-worst team in football last season was blessed to open their campaign against the worst team in football. Both of them had shiny new quarterbacks, and are a year removed from flimsy, bottom-three defenses. That’s where the similarities stopped. Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota stomped on...
Man At White Sox Game Reacts Appropriately To The Wave
A reader says he took this video at Saturday’s White Sox game. The wave sucks. Consider this a prompt to argue about the wave....
Travis Kelce Knows How To Celebrate A Touchdown
The Chiefs are out here taking it to the Texans. Brian Hoyer tossed an interception to rookie Marcus Peters on his first throw as a Texan, and Alex Smith already has already thrown two touchdowns to Travis Kelce. ...
Everton Whomp Chelsea Behind Steven Naismith Hat Trick
Nine minutes into Everton’s match against Chelsea, Muhamed Besic had to leave because of a hamstring injury. Normally, losing a starter less than ten minutes into the game is a bad thing. But not on this day. On this day Steven Naismith replaced Besic, and promptly did this: ...
<i>The Visit</i> Proves That M. Night Shyamalan Is Still Trying Way Too Hard
1. Man oh man, remember the Newsweek that dubbed M. Night Shyamalan “The Next Spielberg?” Has an entertainment-cover of a national newsmagazine ever aged worse? All right, maybe this one. But man, that Newsweek cover might have been the worst thing that ever happened to Shyamalan. The Sixth Sense wa...
David De Gea Wanted Out Of Manchester, So Why The Hell Did He Just Sign A New Contract?
After all of that—after years of speculation and covert contacts and backroom handshake deals and the biggest deadline-day debacle in recent memory—David De Gea has signed a new longterm contract with Manchester United....
How To Hold Elected Office: A Civics Lesson For Meat Suits
Congratulations on your election to public office! Surely this inauspicious-seeming moment marks the beginning of a dramatic rise through the political ranks, a high-minded and principled siege upon the levers of power, a triumph for the little guy, and so on. Before you set off on your journey, tho...
Bill Belichick's Fed Up
After Thursday night’s game, Bill Belichick was asked about the Steelers’ screwy headsets, because any reporter worth their salt would poke and prod the Patriots’ head coach on any remotely odd occurrences during the game. There’s no better time. Belichick was finally forced to say meaningful words ...
Steelers Assistant Coach Accused Of Assaulting Patriots Fan
I don’t know how, but the Patriots must be responsible for this....
Ben Roethlisberger Says The Patriots Defense Bent The Rules
Oh, hey, that confusing headset brouhaha wasn’t the only spot of controversy in last night’s 28-21 New England win. Ben Roethlesberger took issue with the Patriots’ defense’s tactics on a crucial third-and-goal, a shift designed to draw the Steelers into a false start. It worked to perfection, and R...