it Page 779 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We're One Game Into The Season And Brad Marchand Is Already Being A Prick
The defending champion Capitals rained righteous hellfire on the Boston Bruins Wednesday night, crushing them 7-0 in front of a celebratory crowd in their season opener. The Bruins are a bunch of ornery bastards when they’re up 7-0, but when Caps center Lars Eller picked up the last of his team’s go...
Beefy Baseball Boy Luke Voit Is The Yankees' Not-So-Secret Weapon
Luke Voit is a meaty midwestern lad who can’t or won’t button up his jersey all the way and whose grandmother still sends him $25 for every home run he hits, and there have been a lot of $25 checks from Nana in the last couple of months....
Capitals Set New Record In Brutal Season-Opening Thrashing Of Boston
The Capitals wasted absolutely no time in getting their Stanley Cup-defending season off on the right foot following a long and Barry Trotz-less banner-hanging ceremony. Just 24 seconds or so into the game—before NBCSN had even had a chance to put the scoreboard chyron on the screen—TJ Oshie ripped ...
Capitals Erase Barry Trotz From Season-Opening Banner-Hanging Ceremony
The Capitals did their big banner raising ceremony before Wednesday night’s season opener. It was very long! It included both a four-and-a-half minute montage set to Mumford & Sons, and a three-and-a-half minute montage set to Queen, and then an excruciatingly slow two-and-a-half minute raising of t...
Tom Wilson Gets 20(!)-Game Suspension For His Hit On Oskar Sundqvist
The NHL has suspended Washington Capitals goon Tom Wilson 20 games for his hit to the head of Blues forward Oskar Sundqvist in a preseason game on Sunday. The suspension for the hit comes down just hours before the Capitals open up their season against the Bruins....
Barcelona Combine Two Leaping Volleys To Produce A Beautiful Goal
I don’t know which is more impressive: the leaping, spinning kick that Phillipe Coutinho pulled off to salvage what looked like a squandered goal-scoring chance, or the leaping pile driver of a shot Ivan Rakitić put on the other end of Coutinho’s pass to give Barcelona a 2-0 lead on Tottenham:...
Kei Nishikori Shows That Sometimes It Pays To Play Dead<em></em>
Like all games when played at the highest level, tennis often requires managing and toying with an opponent’s expectations. Do you think they’ll hit the ball cross-court? Ready yourself for that ball. But maybe they think you think they’ll hit it cross-court? Stay vigilant for the down-the-line. Wha...
Nobody Was Prepared For The Horrors Modern Warfare Brought To Civilians
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
Canucks Ban Video Games On Road Trips, Because <i>Fortnite</i> Is Well On Its Way To Ruining The NHL
The Vancouver Canucks are a young team, so like seemingly all young men, their players are obsessed with Fortnite. They love it. Can’t get enough of it. Flossing and shit when they score goals. (So: rarely.) Locking themselves in their hotel rooms and gaming until the sun comes up, instead of the ti...
Are The NHL's Mini-Dynasties Dead?
Until the Capitals broke through to win their first Cup, the Penguins, Blackhawks, and Kings dominated the NHL as the most effective triumvirate since Roman times. Instead of ending with stabbings and civil war, the modern NHL version collapsed for more mundane reasons involving salary caps and agin...
The Time Aretha Franklin Called Dave McKenna A Liar
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....
Georgia Investigating Alleged Racist Remark Made By Baseball Player Towards Football Player
The University of Georgia released a statement to media outlets on Monday revealing that the school is looking into alleged misconduct by one of its athletes. The statement was sent in response to inquiries about the alleged incident from UGASports....
Broncos Say Referees Admitted To Missing Chiefs' Delay Of Game During Winning Drive
Referees for Monday night’s Chiefs win over the Broncos admitted that one of the most dramatic plays of the game should not have been allowed to happen, according to multiple players on the Denver defense. After the play clock hit zero before a third-and-seven snap during Patrick Mahomes’s comeback ...
Report: Le'Veon Bell Plans To Return To Steelers For Week 8
Steelers running back Le’Veon Bell has been staying away from the team all season as he tries to preserve his body for as long as he can before hitting free agency in 2019. But according to a report from ESPN’s Jeremy Fowler, Bell plans to return to the Steelers for their Week 8 game against the Bro...
Patrick Mahomes Has All The Moves
Young quarterbacks, even the talented ones, tend to be most easily described by their shortcomings. This kid has a great arm, but no pocket presence; this kid can run, but his deep ball is wobbly; this kid can fit a throw anywhere, but he can’t read a defense. We’re now four games into Patrick Mahom...
Improvised Lefty Pass Highlights Another Heroic Performance From The Unreal Patrick Mahomes
Monday night’s Chiefs-Broncos game was very, very fun, featuring more superhuman play from the impossibly good Patrick Mahomes. Mahomes completed 13 of 16 passes in the fourth quarter and engineered two long touchdown drives to bring the Chiefs back from a 23–13 deficit and into the lead. He complet...
Markieff Morris's Bad Temper Is In Mid-Season Form
My friends, the Morris twins are extremely back on their bullshit. Last week Marcus Morris took the bait when Tristan Thompson ran his mouth about the LeBron-less Cavs still being the team to beat in the Eastern Conference. Also last week Markieff Morris felt it sensible to declare that the Boston C...
Alex Trebek Opens Pennsylvania Gubernatorial Debate With Joke Question About The Eagles
The Pennsylvania governor’s race pits Democratic incumbent Tom Wolf against former state senator Scott Wagner. There is one debate. It is tonight. Alex Trebek is moderating. During an on-stage interview before the debate, Trebek joked that he was drunk when he accepted the invitation. ...
Mike Vrabel Showed Brains And Balls
The Titans knocked off the defending champs, 26-23 in overtime, with a bit of aggressiveness straight out of the Eagles’ playbook. On the winning drive, Tennessee marched 75 yards in 16 plays, converting on three different fourth downs along the way. The third of the three will go down as an early s...