it Page 809 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: FAU Falsely Reported Title IX Numbers By Counting Dozens Of Non-Existent Athletes
FAU falsely reported the number of women playing for its athletic programs on its 2017 report to the Education Department, according to the Palm Beach Post....
Pirates' Gregory Polanco Becomes The Subject Of A Weird PED Hoax
On Tuesday, just after Mariners second baseman Robinson Cano was suspended 80 games for failing a drug test, Pirates outfielder Gregory Polanco started to receive concerned texts from his friends and family in the Dominican Republic. A fake ESPN tweet began to circulate online, suggesting that Polan...
Cat Interrupts Tennis Match, Narrowly Escapes Overhead Smash<em></em>
A doubles tennis match in Rome today was interrupted by a feline interloper. While Lukasz Kubot and Marcelo Melo played against Juan Sebastian Cabal and Robert Farah at the Foro Italico, a cute little cat ran across the court. Cat on the clay!...
Alex Ovechkin Has Been Eating This Carb Nightmare Before Every Home Game For 13 Years
Partly it’s superstition, and partly it’s because, as they say, he likes what he likes, Alex Ovechkin eats the exact same thing a few hours before every Capitals home game, and he’s been eating it since his rookie year. Athletes really are different from the rest of us....
The Lightning Scored Three Beautiful Goals And The Capitals Only Scored Two
It might seem a bit tedious to go through all the goals in the Lightning’s 4-2 Game 4 win over the Capitals on Thursday night, which evened the Eastern Conference Finals at two games apiece. But bear with me—in the tensest game of the series so far, every scoring play (minus the empty netter with tw...
An NHL Prospect Is Reportedly Ruining His Career Over A Video Game Addiction<em></em>
A recent first-round NHL draft pick might be spoiling his career prospects because of a video game addiction, according to some gossip passed along by hockey analyst Jeff Marek on the Sportsnet podcast 31 Thoughts. Marek, who declined to name the player, cited a conversation with his junior general ...
Report: Contract Spat Means Qatar Isn't Going To Pay To Keep The Metro Open Late After The Caps Game After All
A fun thing about Washington D.C. is that its metro transportation system closes at 11:30 p.m. on weeknights even if there are major sports events happening. Instead of simply extending metro hours so people can get home more easily, the Washington Metro Area Transit Association gets businesses or ...
Reports: Michigan State To Settle With Larry Nassar Victims For $500 Million
According to the Detroit Free Press and the Lansing State Journal, Michigan State has agreed to settle the lawsuits filed by hundreds of women who have said they were sexually abused by Larry Nassar for $500 million. The settlement was approved by the board of trustees this morning. The sum will be ...
It Was Never Going To Be Easy For The Capitals
The Washington Capitals came crashing back down to earth tonight in a 4-2 loss to the Lightning in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals, shrinking the series lead of these briefly unbeatable-looking Caps down to 2-1....
Report: Trump-Signed Alabama Football Caused White House Drama, And Now Nobody Knows Where It Is
In a performance that had many praising its avant-garde catchphrase stylings, President Trump welcomed the national champion Alabama Crimson Tide football team to the White House last month and proceeded to speak for approximately three hours about, I assume, how he’s actually glad he didn’t win the...
The D.C. Metro Will Stay Open Late For A Capitals Game Thanks To The Generosity Of, Uh, Qatar
Aside from the nonstop playoff losses, I imagine the worst thing about being a Washington D.C.-area sports fan is the fact that the Metro closes at 11:30 on weeknights, often before local games—especially playoff baseball—come to an end....
Red Sox Pitcher Carson Smith Suffers Potentially Major Injury After Throwing His Glove In Frustration
Carson Smith tossed one inning in relief for the Red Sox in yesterday’s loss to the Oakland A’s, giving up a home run to Khris Davis. After he left the game, he was apparently mad at himself, and he tossed his glove in frustration. That’s a normal and fine reaction, but Smith injured himself doing s...
Okay Goddamnit, What The Hell Is This Robot Saying?
This devil magic is tearing the entire GMG newsroom apart, and now you have to deal with it too. What is this robot saying??? I hear “Laurel” and I can’t even hear the faintest shred of “Yanny,” so please tell me what you hear....
The Penultimate Episode Of The All-Athlete <i>Dancing With The Stars </i>Featured A Lot Of Hats And Not Many Shirts
In the 1994 comedy The Mask, a shy bank clerk named Stanley Ipkiss (played by Jim Carrey) is plagued with the burden and the blessing of discovering an ancient mask containing the spirit of the ancient Norse god, Loki. Under the spell of the mask, Ipkiss, an otherwise meek man who has trouble with w...
Greg Hardy Will Make His Pro MMA Debut On UFC Contender Series Show Next Month
Former NFL player Greg Hardy will fight fellow former NFL player Austen Lane on June 12 in a heavyweight bout. The two will meet on Dana White’s Tuesday Night Contender Series, a show run by the ruddy UFC czar in which amateur fighters and others fight for a (non-guaranteed) chance at a UFC contract...
The Israeli Soccer Team Renamed After Donald Trump Has A History Of Open Racism Against Arabs
Beitar Jerusalem received some press Sunday when the Israeli soccer club announced that it would change its name to “Beitar Trump Jerusalem” as a gesture of appreciation for President Donald Trump for moving the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem. (Today, Trump’s daughter Ivanka and son-in-law Jared Kushner ...
Jameson Taillon Is Willing To Have His Teammates Pee On Him If It Helps
Pirates pitcher Jameson Taillon was pulled from his start against the Giants on Friday after three excellent innings because of a serious cut on his middle finger, which was likely the result of his thumbnail digging into his finger when he threw curveballs. Taillon was bleeding on the ball to point...
The Capitals Look Unbeatable And I Don't Know What's Happening
I’m sorry, what? The Caps spanked the Lightning last night. That’s two consecutive spankings! What is going on here? It would be a little too psychologically neat to posit that all the Ovechkin-era Capitals ever needed was to be underdogs, finally without pressure. Or that once they were finally abl...
Israeli Professional Soccer Team Renamed After Greasy Huckster
The new U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem will be opened with a big ceremony on Monday. Ivanka and Jared will be there! I am not here to offer commentary on this development—it is deeply unpopular with basically the entire rest of the world, much like just about everything else the Trump administration has ...
Willson Contreras Is On An Unholy Tear
Cubs catcher Willson Contreras came into Wednesday’s game against the Marlins stuck in a bit of a slump, having gone 4-for-35 over his previous nine appearances. Contreras, who smacked 21 dingers in 2017, tallied just one in April, and hadn’t had a multi-hit game since April 10. The nine-game slump ...