its Page 54 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
All those who guessed that the cubicle rampage video was a fake, please come collect your winnings ... • MLB: All hail the walkoff grand slam. Everybody say Uggla! Marlins 6, Phillies 2. • Soccer: Wait, they have Cristiano Ronaldo, and Pepe? How can Portugal ever lose? • NFL: I Am Legend ... Will Sm...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while giving into sloth, greed, lust, wrath, envy, pride and especially gluttony....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you say goodbye to the Hockey Night In Canada theme song ... • Boxing: Light welterweights, Herman Ngoudjo vs. Souleymane M'Baye, in Montreal (8:30 p.m., ET). A limit of 140 pounds? My tonsils weigh more than that. [ESPN2] • College Baseball: NCAA Division I Tournament, super region...
About Last Night
What you missed while using your binoculars to watch a bearded tit ... • NBA: Wheelchair basketball ... Pierce shakes off knee injury, leads Celtics over Lakers in Game 1. • MLB: Cole Hamels > Ken Griffey Jr. Phillies 5, Reds 0. • MLB: Please don't televise the draft again. Thanks....
Everything In Its Right Place
So, obviously the news of today was rather jarring for those of us currently employed at this fine establishment. Not surprising, but jarring, nonetheless....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while smoking, um, what is that again? ... • Arena Football: New York at Colorado (10:30 p.m., ET). Did you know that Kurt Warner is on the Dragons' roster? In case it doesn't work out with the Cardinals ... [ESPN2] • College Softball: Women's College World Series, at Oklahoma City, Ch...
Spend The Hereafter In Style Thanks To The Grand Prairie Airhogs
Being a San Francisco Giants fan, I often think of death; but so far I haven't made any firm arrangements. That could all change tomorrow when I head off to the Grand Prairie Airhogs game, where they are giving away a free funeral to one fortunate fan in their All Hogs Go To Heaven Funeral Giveaway....
Heavyweight Champ Out To Terrify Erudite British Comedians
The man pictured here is Wladimir Klitschko. It is telling that you might know who he is; he's the IBF, WBO and IBO world heavyweight champion, which isn't nearly as cool as it was 15 years ago. But still: The job of the heavyweight champion of the world is to be the "scariest man on earth," and mak...
There's No Reason That Random Urinalysis Can't Be Fun
Barry Bonds may be gone, but as penance for profiting over his steroid-soaked home run record chase, I think the Giants should have to dump Lou Seal and adopt a new mascot. Meet Petey P. Cup, who not only charms young and old with his playful urine-related antics, but serves as a sober reminder of b...
Super Blogdome Returns
• Breaking out some offseason footbLOL, because it's what all the cool kids are doing. [Everyday Should Be Saturday] • Woody Paige's insecurity is showing. [Awful Announcing] • John McCain might be getting down with the sports blogosphere. [SportsByBrooks]...
Barkley's Gambling Dumb-Assery May Have Finally Caught Up To Him
Charles Barkley's love of gambling has reached a breaking point for one Las Vegas casino, which is now suing him for $400,000 in unpaid debts....
HBO: Jessica Simpson Will Not Retard Our Football Camp Show
Everyone getting excited about the upcoming season of Hard Knocks: Dallas Cowboys has every right to be. With a colorful cast of characters to choose from like Terrell Owens, Pacman Jones (please), Tony Romo and the mesmerizing handywork of Jerry Jones' plastic surgeon, it'll be entertaining televis...
They're Ready to Run For the Roses
The little people are mounting their steeds, which means the most exciting two minutes in sports (setting aside the final two minutes in almost all other highly contested sporting events) can't be far behind. Oh wait, they're playing "My Old(e?) Kentucky Home. This could take a while. Hey, an ex-boy...
Inside the Infield at Churchill Downs
Just because you don't really give a crap about horse racing doesn't mean you shouldn't be enjoying yourself like the happy-go-lucky types at the OTB. The Kentucky Derby is really just one huge ass party divided in two parts. The rich guys and southern belles cougars wear their most ridiculously ex...
Sacha Baron Cohen's New Guy Is Tall
Wait a minute, where did all of those Hawks fans come from?...
Josh Hancock, One Year Later
It was a year ago today that Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock was killed in a drunk driving accident. Since then, sports has learned its lesson, and no longer do alcohol advertisements appear on telecasts of sporting events....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after surviving the Great Jell-o Snack Pack Disaster of 2008 ... • Boxing: Middleweights, Andrey Tsurkan vs. Jesse Feliciano, at New York (9:30 p.m., ET). The return of El Rayo! [ESPN2] • NBA playoffs: Eastern Conference first round, Game 3, Detroit Pistons at Philadelphia 76ers (7 p.m...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while recovering from spousal carrot-related violence ... • NHL: Second-line wing helps Wings wing Avalanche, 4-3. • MLB: Ah, the lost art of the doubleheader sweep ... not to mention the .028 ERA. Indians 9-2, Royals 6-0. • NBA: Rockets realize it's a best-of-seven deal, begin tryin...
Yankee Stadium:Ground Zero For All Things Pope-Y
As many of you know, Pope Benedict the Magnificent XI was in New York on Sunday to celebrate mass at Yankee Stadium with 57,000 Bronx old ladies carrying plastic rosary beads. It went well, as all who attended were happy and blessed and there were no assasination attempts or extremely violent protes...
About Last Night
What you missed while reading the new children's book about cosmetic surgery ... • MLB: Nice and Easley does it ... wild pitch in 14th gives Mets 3-2 win over Nationals. • College basketball: It's official. Kevin Love will enter NBA draft. The era of the one-year college player is in full swing. • N...