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What It’s Like To Be A Benchwarmer
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. ...

Melky Cabrera Does Not Like Thunder. Not One Bit.
A big-ass thunderstorm rolled through the St. Petersburg area last night, and it was bad enough to briefly knock the lights out at Tropicana field while the Rays took on the Blue Jays. It was also bad enough to scare the crap out of poor Melky Cabrera....

UALR AD Resigns After Talking About Athlete's Mom's Boobs On Broadcast
Arkansas-Little Rock athletic director Chris Peterson is out of a job after being caught talking about an athlete's mother on a live soccer stream....

Don't Step To Will Muschamp About His One-Play Suspensions
Florida's season opener on Saturday was suspended after just one play, a kickoff, after rain and lightning strikes made the game unplayable. Two days later, coach Will Muschamp announced that three suspended Gators would be reinstated. This struck some observers as funny. It was not funny to Muscham...

This Guy Was Sharing The Hacked Celeb Nudes Weeks Before They Leaked
Last night, we brought you the story of the Deadspin reader whose girlfriend was approached on Aug. 19 with a strange request—a Facebook user going by the (presumably fake) name of Jason Killan offered her $5,000 for nude pictures or videos. Our reader—we'll call him David—messaged Killan to tel...

Jackie MacMullan Strongly Believes Rajon Rondo Wants Out Of Boston
When Chris Broussard says the Celtics want to trade Rajon Rondo, he's talking out of his ass. But NBA writer Jackie MacMullan's a different story....

High School Baseball Game In Japan Takes 50 Innings, Four Days
A baseball game in Hyogo Prefecture, Japan that started Thursday took 50 innings and four days to determine a winner, which is amazing in its own way, but wait until you see the two starters' pitch counts....

According to someone at the building Saturday night, USC defensive back Josh Shaw got into an argument with his girlfriend, the two went their separate ways, someone else called police, and when Shaw returned to the apartment, he saw police and jumped off his girlfriend's balcony. [Los Angeles Daily...

I Can't Stop Watching This Dude Try To Hit A 186-MPH Fastball
Ever wondered what it'd be like to stand in against a big-league hurler? Yeah, this is kinda like that, but if the hurler was, like, a Terminator or something. Here's former Japanese ballplayer Takeshi Yamasaki, trying to get his bat around on a nearly 200-mph fastball (the fun starts at around ...

How Heisman-Finalist Quarterbacks Have Changed Over The Years
It's the season for wildly premature Heisman speculation, and considering quarterbacks have won all but two Heismans since 2000 (Mark Ingram and Reggie Bush being the exceptions), a few quarterbacks and their gaudy stat lines will be in the running this year. But just how far have the goal posts mov...

Anthony Brown Says USC Coach Called Him "All Types Of Fuck Words"
Earlier, we told you about former USC running back Anthony Brown, who quit the team very suddenly and then took to Instagram to accuse head coach Steve Sarkisian of being racist. TMZ has since gotten in touch with Brown, who provided them with some choice quotes....

USC Player Quits Team, Accuses Coach Of Being Racist
Things aren't going so great at USC these days, buddy, but thanks for asking!...

Josh Shaw's Lawyer Confirms Balcony Fall
There's a whole lot of confusion on what actually happened to USC DB Josh Shaw, who sprained both ankles in some sort of incident on Saturday. Well, here's one piece of the puzzle, filled in....

USC: Josh Shaw Admits He Made Up Drowning Nephew Story
According to a statement released by USC, defensive back Josh Shaw made up the story about rescuing his 7-year-old drowning nephew last Saturday night at a family party....

Mike Napoli, In The Rogers Centre, With Brute Damn Force
Rest in peace, baseball. You were hit so damn hard, and flew so damn far, that you were at least not in much pain when you left this earth. ...

TMZ: Cops Talked To Shaw About Report Of Guy "Shimmying" Down Building
TMZ's headline says "USC's Josh Shaw—Named In Burglary Report," but the takeaway is that police talked to Shaw about a report of a guy climbing down the side of a building Saturday night....

USC And Steve Sarkisian Are Now Walking Back Josh Shaw's Heroic Story
Yesterday, USC released a report that Trojans defensive back Josh Shaw had sprained both of his ankles while rescuing his 7-year-old nephew at a family party Saturday night. This morning, however, head coach Steve Sarkisian said that he had received reports disputing Shaw's account....

The Footwork In This Vine Of Saints DB Drills Is Mesmerizing
This is like synchronized swimming, but with two Jesuses on the Galilee in football pads....

USC: Trojans DB Out After Leaping From Balcony To Save Drowning Nephew
USC defensive back Josh Shaw is recovering from his injuries after jumping from a second-floor balcony window at a family party Saturday night to save his drowning 7-year-old nephew, according to the Trojans....