jon Page 147 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cowboys Repent For "Party Pass" Hell (Sort Of)
We reported on the special circle of hell the Cowboys reserved for their Party Pass holders on Sunday. Almost a week later, Jerry Jones is finally owning up to the mayhem which, in Jerry's defense, made the record books....

$1.3 Billion And Not A Decent Boiler In The Place
Giants LB Danny Clark: "There's not a lot of hot water in there. (Jones) cut some corners in the bathroom there...It was lukewarm at best." [Newsday]...

How Did That "Party Pass" Work Out For Everyone?
All you haterz out there who predicted that selling 30,000 standing room tickets for Cowboy games would turn their new stadium into a lawless Thunderdome? Yeah, you were completely right....

This Must Have Looked Awesome On The Jerrytron
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Richard Seymour Boldly Accepts His Deportation to the North Korea of the NFL
Richard Seymour has agreed to play for the Raiders this season and is expected to suit up for the team Monday night against the Chargers. We think Seymour's wife Tanya will fit right in with the Oakland Coliseum fans. [ESPN]...

The Mike Vick Power Hour To Come Sooner Than Expected
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Winnipeg's Forecast Just Got A Lot Less Rainy
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

The Michigan Fans' Jihad Against Michael Rosenberg
Michigan fanboys still clutching their pearls over this weekend's Detroit Free Press exposé have rallied mindlessly around Jonathan Chait, who has now written two guest columns accusing Free Press columnist Michael Rosenberg, the story's co-author, of waging an "anti-Rodriguez jihad."...

Winnipeg Stockpiling Malcontents
Charles Rogers, the original Matt Millen WR bust, will be joining Pac Man in Winnipeg. Since his 2005 release, Rogers has been battling drug addition to return to football. He reportedly still owes the Lions $8.5 Million[PFT]...

Thomas Jones Had Some Festive Birthday Party Entertainment
You should see these ladies make balloon animals. It's a sight to behold. [JerseyChaser]...

Adam Jones Heads To Great White North
The Pack-Man, as I will always know him, signed a one-year deal with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers of the CFL. I wonder if NAFTA covers importation of strip club labor. [Canadian Press]...

You Made Rich Rodriguez Cry
ESPN interrupted Bill Belichick getting choked up over Teddy Bruschi so America could watch Rich Rodriguez get choked up about all the mean things the Detroit Free Press wrote about him. Why are our football coaches so sad?...

Jonah Keri Cheats Death
"A deafening series of violent bumps. A patch of thickly clustered trees. A terrified scream. A sickening crash," writes the great Jonah Keri, in what has to be the most improbable and life-affirming story you'll read all day. [JonahKeri.com]...

The Cowboys Scoreboard Punter Drinking Game
You don't need a reason to drink this weekend, but you may need a reason to watch a 49ers-Cowboys preseason game that doesn't include "it was the only thing the sheriff would let me watch from the holding cell."...

Who Needs An Immigration Wall When You Have Chipper Jones?
The Atlanta Braves third baseman is an avid hunter and since his home rests on a tract of land near the Mexican border, he often encounters many of brave illegal immigrants stealthily en route to a better way of life....

Everyone Still Baffled By This Ricky Rubio Business
So Rubio's contract was either bought out by Regal Barcelona or it wasn't, depending on whether you believe Spanish media or the guy in Minnesota who took, like, 18 point guards in the last draft. [USAT, Marca via Babelfish]...

Cowboys Stadium Offers Valuable Seating Behind This Brick Wall
We've already covered the new Cowboys Stadium's opulent luxury, from the $40 million scoreboard to the $60 pizzas. How about $75 seats where you can only see one-third of the playing field? Thank you, Jerry Jones for all your blessings!...

Moving Jerry's Big TV Wouldn't Be Cheap
According to Chris Mortensen's source with the Cowboys, raising the 72' high video screen would cost a minimum of $2 million (or 33,333 pizzas). No worries, Jerry Jones was already considering raising it to accommodate a U2 concert. [ESPN]...

Cowboys' Massive New Stadium Not Big Enough To Play Football In
Jerry Jones (and Texas taxpayers) spent $1.2 billion constructing an opulent state-of-the-art multi-use arena that's perfect for concerts, soccer matches, trade shows, Promise Keepers rallies, and even football games—provided that you don't allow either team to punt....