jon Page 148 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chipper Jones' Death Ranch Claims Another Victim
A illegal immigrant was found dead on the Texas property owned by the Larry Jones family. (It's eight miles from the Rio Grande and 124 degrees. Do the math.) Unrelated: The Braves have hired new hitting coach Anton Chigurh. [Journal-Constitution]...

Guest Editor Intro: I Am Delusional and I Hate Winners
Good morning, sports fans. You are looking LIVE at—well, at a post I wrote yesterday and put in the can in advance....

Not A Game, We Talking 'Bout Malpractice
Tebucky Jones plans to sue New England's team doctors for misdiagnosing his injuries and ending his career. The Mets' class-action suit is still collecting plaintiffs. [NESN]...

Suspected Cancer Hoaxer Found Dead
Fifteen-year-old brain cancer patient "Jonathan Jay White" turns out to have been a 24-year-old woman in Ammon, Idaho, who was found Wednesday in her car, dead of an apparent suicide....

Was Lance Armstrong Duped By A Cancer Fake?
Jonathan Jay White is a 15-year-old with brain cancer whose devotion to the Livestrong credo caught the attention of Lance Armstrong and several generous donors. The grifter who invented "Jonathan Jay White" will soon catch the attention of federal authorities....

CFL Lineman Sacks Purse Snatcher On Streets Of Edmonton
Because we all need to believe in the power of sport again, here's a story involving an athlete that has a happy ending. If reading about a thief get crunched by a professional football player makes you happy, that is....

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Fans mob a Twitter-promoted baseball game featuring the Jonas Brothers. If you're wondering about their road beef, Chris Hansen would like you to sit down over here. [Boston Herald]...

A Funnier, Less Pottymouthed Pacman Making It Rain Video
It really shouldn't have taken this long for this to be made. But I think we're all glad it was....

Adam Jones "Makin' It Rain": The Video (NSFW)
We compared the Las Vegas Journal Review's massive feature on the Minxx strip club incident to the Warren Report, but now we finally have the Zapruder Film. Video (that's probably not safe work) of Adam "Pacman" Jones making it rain....

North Korean Heir Is Basically That Guy You Knew In 1996 Who Always Wore A Toni Kukoc Jersey
The presumptive heir to North Korean crazy person Kim Jong Il and all his crappy missiles is a brooding 26-year-old who apparently loves basketball in general and a certain Croatian point-forward in particular....

It's Not Officially A No-Hitter Until You Drink With A Panda
Some might tell you that Jonathan Sanchez's good luck charm was his father watching him pitch for the first time as a pro. Those people are about to learn of the Power of the Panda....

Jim Cramer Was Wrong About Lenny Dykstra, Everything Else
Jon Stewart would like to remind everyone that financial "expert" Jim Cramer endorsed Lenny Dykstra as "one of the great ones in this business." And the business he was referring to was not "collecting tobacco juice."...

The "Pacman" Jones Strip Club Shooting Gets Its Warren Report
The Las Vegas Review-Journal has launched a massive three-part investigation into the strip club incident that cost Adam Jones a year of football and another man his ability to walk. Oh, the things we have seen .......

David Beckham Deserves An Imaginary Nobel Peace Prize
"If [he] had spoken out about Iraq it wouldn't have happened," said Jon McClure, frontman of the The Reverend and The Makers, of Becks. "Or Britain certainly wouldn't have got involved." So that's what The Beckham Experiment is about. [PA]...

Nice, But He Still Gets An Asterisk For Doing It Against The Padres
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Ricky Rubio To Remain In Spain
Rubio, Spain's Pistola Pedro, "will remain in Spain to play for his DKV Joventut basketball team for the remaining two years of his contract rather than try to move to the NBA this season, El Periodico reported today." [Pioneer Press]...

Pray For The Arena Football League
Bon Jovi and his fellow owners are working to keep the AFL afloat, even phone chatting at 7 p.m. each night, but he said chances of survival are "50-50." Also, the CFL kicks off tonight. Happy Canada Day! [Fifth Down]...

Where Awkward Happens: Reading The Body Language Of NBA Draft Picks
The David Stern handshake is a newly drafted player's baptism into the NBA. It is also, often as not, hilariously awkward. We asked body language maven Patti Wood to analyze some of these moments from yesterday's Draft....

Jonny Flynn Is All About the 'Mid Coast'
6. Minnesota Timberwolves: Jonny Flynn, Syracuse. Minnesota is stocking up on point guards, and why not? Rubio isn't ready to come in and lead the team for 30 minutes a night, but that's Flynn's specialty....

$1.5 Billion Doesn't Go As Far As You Think
Martellus Bennett takes you on an informative and possibly racist (just against the Chinese, though) tour of the new Cowboys stadium. Hope you like $14 BBQ sandwiches, Dallas fans! Someone has to pay for those video screens. [MartyBTV]...