k Page 1967 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Athletics' Feel-Good Season Smashed Up And Ruined By Vile Yankees
The Athletics had a fascinating regular season, and were a ton of fun to follow, and it would’ve been neat to watch a genuine underdog that got to this point in such a weird and surprising way go up against the powerhouse Red Sox in the ALDS. Alas, the dream died Wednesday when the Yankees smashed u...
Nick Saban Is Very Angry At Alabama Fans For Not Attending Guaranteed Win Against Garbage Opponent
Alabama beat the shit out of the Ragin’ Cajuns of Louisiana-Lafayette on Saturday. By the end of the first quarter the Crimson Tide had a 28-point lead; by the end of the half it was 49. Louisiana scored a couple of touchdowns in the fourth quarter, but by that time they were already down 56 points....
Capitals Set New Record In Brutal Season-Opening Thrashing Of Boston
The Capitals wasted absolutely no time in getting their Stanley Cup-defending season off on the right foot following a long and Barry Trotz-less banner-hanging ceremony. Just 24 seconds or so into the game—before NBCSN had even had a chance to put the scoreboard chyron on the screen—TJ Oshie ripped ...
Capitals Erase Barry Trotz From Season-Opening Banner-Hanging Ceremony
The Capitals did their big banner raising ceremony before Wednesday night’s season opener. It was very long! It included both a four-and-a-half minute montage set to Mumford & Sons, and a three-and-a-half minute montage set to Queen, and then an excruciatingly slow two-and-a-half minute raising of t...
Another Empty Congressional Hearing About Sexual Abuse In Sports Came And Went
With many of the cameras and reporters gone, the fourth Senate hearing about sexual abuse in Olympic sports took on a different tone. There was no yelling. There was no demanding of answers. CEOs of the organizations that oversee Olympic sports had a few chuckles. The grandstanding was gone, just th...
Brooks Koepka Feels Really Bad About His Shot That Exploded A Woman's Eyeball
Every pro golfer hits a bad ball now and again, and some pro golfers hit a bad ball that catches someone in the gallery, but only one pro golfer hit a bad ball that exploded someone’s eyeball. That pro golfer feels guilty....
Why The Fuck Isn't Kobe Bryant A Pariah Yet?
Did you hear? Kobe Bryant is a body-care guru now. Partnering with a pair of business-bro whipdicks and a smattering of pro athletes, including NBA MVP James Harden, he’s launching a line of beauty products for athletes and men who want to pretend they are athletes. Here’s a link to an article about...
Tom Wilson Gets 20(!)-Game Suspension For His Hit On Oskar Sundqvist
The NHL has suspended Washington Capitals goon Tom Wilson 20 games for his hit to the head of Blues forward Oskar Sundqvist in a preseason game on Sunday. The suspension for the hit comes down just hours before the Capitals open up their season against the Bruins....
Barcelona Combine Two Leaping Volleys To Produce A Beautiful Goal
I don’t know which is more impressive: the leaping, spinning kick that Phillipe Coutinho pulled off to salvage what looked like a squandered goal-scoring chance, or the leaping pile driver of a shot Ivan Rakitić put on the other end of Coutinho’s pass to give Barcelona a 2-0 lead on Tottenham:...
Kei Nishikori Shows That Sometimes It Pays To Play Dead<em></em>
Like all games when played at the highest level, tennis often requires managing and toying with an opponent’s expectations. Do you think they’ll hit the ball cross-court? Ready yourself for that ball. But maybe they think you think they’ll hit it cross-court? Stay vigilant for the down-the-line. Wha...
Canucks Ban Video Games On Road Trips, Because <i>Fortnite</i> Is Well On Its Way To Ruining The NHL
The Vancouver Canucks are a young team, so like seemingly all young men, their players are obsessed with Fortnite. They love it. Can’t get enough of it. Flossing and shit when they score goals. (So: rarely.) Locking themselves in their hotel rooms and gaming until the sun comes up, instead of the ti...
I Can't Stop Watching This Gorgeous Long Ball
Ajax midfielder Hakim Ziyech’s soaring cross-field pass in yesterday’s match against Bayern Munich was always beautiful, but watching it from this particular camera angle on loop sends it from “wow, that was cool” to “it’s been 30 minutes since I hit play on this video and I still haven’t moved”:...
Are The NHL's Mini-Dynasties Dead?
Until the Capitals broke through to win their first Cup, the Penguins, Blackhawks, and Kings dominated the NHL as the most effective triumvirate since Roman times. Instead of ending with stabbings and civil war, the modern NHL version collapsed for more mundane reasons involving salary caps and agin...
The Time Aretha Franklin Called Dave McKenna A Liar
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....
Kyle Freeland Is A New Kind Of Rockies Pitcher
By the time last night’s interminable NL wild card game was over, your memories of the contributions made by Rockies starting pitcher Kyle Freeland, a second-year player throwing on three days rest, may have understandably faded. A quick refresher: 6.2 innings, four hits, one walk, six strikeouts, a...
A 2018–19 NHL Season Preview Of Every Team, From Best To Islanders
Hell yeah, hockey is back! After suffering through three months of sports that do not involve ice, and night after night of 90-degree temperatures with no A/C (though that one might just be me), the most beautiful and fun game in the world has returned to save you from five-hour ALDS games and lopsi...
The A's Are Full-On Bullpenning, So Let's Get Weird
The Athletics’ full plan for tonight’s AL wild card game was revealed not when Bob Melvin named reliever Liam Hendriks the starter—though Hendriks prefers the term “opener”—but when Mike Fiers, one of two true starters, was left off the roster for this game. That leaves only Edwin Jackson, and he’s ...
Brave Rock Men Thwart Pesky Bear Children In NL Wild Card Slog
Some might remember Tuesday’s NL Wild Card game as classic, cagey postseason baseball. Others may describe it as a painfully slow and annoyingly long slog that lost all of its charm the very moment the ninth inning ended without one team ahead of the other. The luckiest among us will remember it as ...
Javier Baez And Nolan Arenado Share Warm Hug During Live Baseball Play
The Cubs and Rockies refuse to settle this goddamn National League Wild Card game, which is now in the 13th inning. The Cubs had a good chance to end it in the bottom of the 11th, after Javy Baez advanced to second on a sacrifice bunt and the Rock men elected to intentionally walk Daniel Murphy with...