k Page 2033 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The D.C. Metro Will Stay Open Late For A Capitals Game Thanks To The Generosity Of, Uh, Qatar
Aside from the nonstop playoff losses, I imagine the worst thing about being a Washington D.C.-area sports fan is the fact that the Metro closes at 11:30 on weeknights, often before local games—especially playoff baseball—come to an end....

Okay Goddamnit, What The Hell Is This Robot Saying?
This devil magic is tearing the entire GMG newsroom apart, and now you have to deal with it too. What is this robot saying??? I hear “Laurel” and I can’t even hear the faintest shred of “Yanny,” so please tell me what you hear....

A.J. Pollock Smashed His Thumb On What Wound Up Being An Inside-The-Park Homer
A.J. Pollock has been among the top National League players in WAR for much of this young season, but he also just cannot catch a break. In the ninth inning of the Diamondbacks’ 7-2 loss to the Brewers Monday, the outfielder laid the hell out for a Tyler Saladino line drive that turned into an insid...

The Rockets Have Nothing For Kevin Durant
The Rockets had a plan. They were going to force Steph Curry to defend James Harden one-on-one, stick longer defenders on Curry to harass him on the perimeter, use Clint Capela’s length to disrupt Draymond Green’s pick-and-roll maneuvers, and pounce on any defensive lapses by kicking it out to their...

The Warriors Are Better Than The Rockets
Look. If we are being honest with each other, here, let’s acknowledge what we all know: The Rockets are 100 percent dead in this series, have virtually no chance whatsoever even to push it to a seventh game, and could spend Game 2 jump-kicking each other in the face for all the good they can do by e...

My Favorite Subplot Of Winnipeg-Vegas Is People Trying To Hit Dustin Byfuglien And Getting Demolished
Jets defenseman Dustin Byfuglien is a big boy. Listed at 6-foot-5, 260 pounds, I would call him an immovable object if not for the fact that he’s usually moving toward you. And it’s gonna go badly for you....

The Golden Knights Found Success With A Slowdown
The Golden Knights chalked up their Game 1 loss to effort. “They outworked us,” coach Gerard Gallant said. “We have to compete harder. We got to battle harder.” It’s the sort of thing a coach says all the time, but it’s also just about the only thing a team can try to change when they’re up against ...

Warriors Edge Out The Rockets In The Game 1 Everybody Expected
In a game that saw the two best teams in basketball each play exactly how you’d expect them to, the Golden State Warriors beat the Rockets in Houston, 119-106, to take a 1-0 lead in the Western Conference Finals. Despite the best efforts of James Harden and his 41 points, the Warriors managed to exp...

Everything Went Right For The Golden Knights
After dispatching the Golden Knights with a three-goal barrage in the first-period of Game 1, the Winnipeg Jets found Vegas to be a much tougher opponent in their second series meeting, and couldn’t get anywhere near a repeat performance. The Knights rode a pair of first period goals and a brillian...

LIVE: We're Simulating Tonight's Warriors-Rockets Game In <i>NBA Live 96</i>
Haha! Yes! We are back at it, tirelessly updating rosters from 22-year-old video games in order to bring you these highly accurate simulations of upcoming basketball games. WE ARE LIVE:...


Steven Souza Appreciates Mothers
Diamondbacks outfielder Steven Souza was mic’d up during yesterday’s game against the Nationals, and that was good news for anyone who likes their baseball accompanied by wry commentary....

Jorge Linares Beat Vasiliy Lomachenko, Right Up Until He Didn't
Jorge Linares is a flashy, creative athletic freak who has, over a period of many years and much pain, been pushed into the mold of a textbook boxer, like a wild, raging river channeled into an orderly canal. Thus he possesses both the physical gifts of the freak and the carefulness of the technicia...

Let The Cool Players Try To Trash Each Other
Here is a thing that happens way too often in the NBA: Two teams with stars at the same position face each other and, instead of the cool stars checking each other, so that they are competing directly at both ends of the floor, the coaches assign various other designated defenders to do the job of g...

Why Aren't NFL Safeties Getting Signed?
Eric Reid’s collusion grievance has been in the news, but Reid’s specific situation has overshadowed a rather curious offseason phenomenon involving him and his entire position group: NFL teams aren’t keen on signing free-agent safeties....

Jay Bruce Apparently Celebrated Being Traded Away From The Mets By Conceiving A Child<em></em>
The New York Mets, a team that began the season 11-1, lost their ninth game of their last 11 in Philadelphia on Sunday afternoon. Ace Noah Syndergaard, who was scheduled to start Saturday’s rained-out game against the Phillies, was skipped for reasons vague enough to be weird. Less-hairy co-ace Jaco...

Cavs Comprehensively Wrecked By Scrappy Celtics
Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals was never close. The Celtics went on a 17-0 run in the first quarter, and that was that. The central question of this series is whether Boston’s impressive team defense will be able to slow down a Cavs offense that ranked number one in the NBA in offensive eff...

Mookie Betts Makes Baseball Look Too Damn Easy
Red Sox outfielder Mookie Betts is having a ridiculous season. He leads the majors in dingers and runs and batting average and OPS, and he’s 25 years old, and, not coincidentally, his team is tied for the best record in baseball. And he’s a two-time Gold Glove winner. And he bowls perfect games. It’...

Brooks Koepka Drops In A Ridiculous 208-Yard Albatross
Brooks Koepka shot a course-record-tying 63 today in the final round of The Players, which was good enough to bring him into the top five of the leaderboard. Lots of good stuff in a 63, but the true highlight of his day was an amazing 208-yard approach shot on the par-5 16th hole. Check this shit ou...
