k Page 2343 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chris Matthews: John F. Kennedy Would Go Watch Porn Instead Of Election Results

While the first wave of election results was coming into the MSNBC studios, Chris Matthews regaled viewers with an anecdote about presidential horniness. Matthews was discussing political officials who preferred not to watch the news and keep track of election results, including his former boss Tip ...

At Least Four People Shot Near Los Angeles Polling Place [Updating]

According to the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s office, at least four people were shot near a polling place in Azusa, California. Captain Jeff Scroggins told the Los Angeles Times that police were dealing with a “heavily armed” shooter and the Azusa PD warned citizens to stay away from the area. Local...

Mark Cuban Really Believes Banning ESPN Reporters Could Forestall The Coming Robot Content Wars<em></em><em></em>

Late Sunday night, word began trickling out that Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban had revoked the credentials of two ESPN reporters, Tim MacMahon and Marc Stein. The initial reporting suggested that Cuban was upset that MacMahon would be spending less time on the Mavericks beat this season, as he’s...

Report On Voter Intimidation Interrupted By Very Insistent Skateboarder

Tonight Columbus’s WSYX reported live from the scene of where witnesses say Trump supporters outside a polling station have been threatening OSU students with rape if they vote for Hillary Clinton. That would prompt what you’d expect to be a very serious conversation, except for the skateboarder who...

Let's Talk Hot Fucking Stove Season

It’s going to be a long night for everyone. Let’s put all that nervous energy to good use and talk some hot fucking stove....

Here's How (Some) <i>New York Times</i> Staffers Are Voting

Like many major news organizations, the New York Times has a policy that forbids its writers and editors from publicly endorsing any candidate. Ancient journalism folklore states that ideally one shouldn’t have opinions—doing so would anger our one true god, Objectivity—but given that this isn’t pos...

Mt. Take Is Rumbling

Earth To MORON

Hello... McFly? Anybody home???...

NFL Admits Officials Screwed Over The Bills

The Buffalo Bills got pretty dang dicked over last night during their 31-25 loss to the Seattle Seahawks....

Dan Carpenter's Wife Threatens Richard Sherman's Nuts

Rex Ryan and the Buffalo Bills were fuming after Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman got away with throwing himself at kicker Dan Carpenter on a field goal attempt right before halftime of Monday’s game. Carpenter’s wife Kaela, who grew up in Montana, had a very regional reaction to Sherman’s tactic...

Seahawks Fan Calls Bills Coach "Waitress"; Woman Next To Him Slaps Him

A Seahawks fan said some sexist shit to Bills special teams quality control coach Kathryn Smith as she walked to the field in Monday’s game, but was swiftly reprimanded by the woman standing next to him....

Report: Phil Jackson Still Trying To Fuck This Up

If one were to rank reasons for Knicks fans to feel optimistic about this season, the list would look something like this:...

ESPN Is Hemorrhaging Subscribers And Pretending It Doesn't Matter

ESPN is doing a very bad job of pretending it isn’t deathly afraid of rapidly declining subscriber numbers. At the end of October, Nielsen released its monthly television subscriber numbers report, and it showed a loss of 621,000 subscribers for ESPN and similar losses for ESPN2 and ESPNU. Other net...

Report: Bill Belichick Did Write That Letter To Donald Trump

At a rally last night in New Hampshire, Donald Trump read a glowing letter of support that he claimed had been penned by Bill Belichick:...

Mark Cuban: I Banned Those ESPN Reporters To Win The War Against Robots

Mark Cuban and the Dallas Mavericks pulled the credentials of experienced ESPN reporters Marc Stein and Tim MacMahon this weekend under mysterious circumstances. There was no obvious motive for the Mavericks to do so, and Cuban hasn’t said much to clear it up—but he broke his silence this evening. C...

Several Wisconsin Athletes Decry Racism On Campus, Demand Change

A large group of Wisconsin athletes, most notably Big Ten preseason player of the year Nigel Hayes, tweeted out an essay regarding the racism that they say athletes of color at Wisconsin face every day. The post comes a week after a fan showed up to the Wisconsin football game on Saturday with an O...

All Hell Breaks Loose On Bills Field Goal Attempt

With three seconds left in the first half of the Seahawks-Bills game, chaos took over....

Trump Claims Tom Brady Endorsement; Recites Glowing Letter He Says Bill Belichick Sent Him [Updates]

At a rally in Manchester, New Hampshire this evening, empty gas station salami wrapper Donald Trump revealed the endorsements of a pair of New England Patriots heroes. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick purportedly told the future former candidate for president that they’d vote for him, and Trump even rea...

Cubs Will Remove Fan Messages From Stadium Walls

Throughout the playoffs, Cubs fans have been writing messages and drawing with chalk on the walls of the team’s stadium (thank you to the tipster who sent us photos of all the nearby dicks they could find scrawled on the ground). The Cubs cleaned everything off when the World Series started, but sin...

Doofus Cyclist Eats It

Cyclocross is a sport that fuses road bike racing with mountain biking, creating a hybrid sport that is essentially road racing on a muddy obstacle course. As such, people crash all the time into the mud while trying to bunny hop over barriers, navigate slippery corners, or descend sandy inclines. I...