k Page 2540 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Walk Into Lake Michigan Forever, Scott Walker
Wisconsin governor Scott Walker has abandoned his campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He says he has been “called to lead by helping to clear the field,” but he was polling at around half a percent, which is to say that nobody is calling him to lead a goddamn thing. In a just w...

Police: TCU Football Players Arrested For Assault, Jacking A Case Of Keystone Light
According to numerous reports, TCU senior defensive end Mike Tuaua and redshirt freshman wide receiver Andre Petties-Wilson were arrested on felony robbery and bodily injury charges for allegedly beating up fellow students outside of a party, and then stealing their case of Keystone Light....

A Sketchy Drug Test Didn’t Stop Vitor Belfort From Fighting At UFC 152
Just more than 24 hours ahead of their Memorial Day fight this year, UFC middleweight champion Chris Weidman stepped up to his opponent, Vitor Belfort, in public, ready to accuse him of cheating....

I Peed My Pants At A Little League Game, And Other Tales Of Urine-Based Humiliation
A moment of silence for the dignity of everyone who responded when we asked you to tell us about a time you peed your pants. You have no shame, and you should be proud of that. But my God! A lot of you have pissed yourselves at inopportune times! Here are the best of those stories....

Things Are Already Tense Between Ndamukong Suh And The Dolphins
It usually takes a few bad losses to drive an NFL team to the point of undermining itself via anonymous pot shots in the press. The 1-1 Dolphins shouldn’t be at that juncture yet, but their Week 2 loss came at the hands of the Jaguars, which is basically like losing four games in one. It’s the kind ...


How To Clean Semen Off Of Anything
We’re kicking off Season Two of the official Ask a Clean Person podcast in what I consider to be perfect style: covered in semen. My guest this week is Maureen O’Connor, sex columnist for New York Magazine and a contributor to The Cut, who joined me to talk about cum stains. ...

Felix Hernandez And Adrian Beltre's Friendly Rivalry Is Still The Best
The best thing about any game between the Rangers and Mariners is the likelihood that it will involve Felix Hernandez and Adrian Beltre joking around and talking shit to each other. They do this all the time, and last night was no different:...

Pete Carroll Says The Refs Blew That Big Fumble Call
Midway through the fourth quarter, with Seattle down seven and driving, Russell Wilson was picked off by Jayrone Elliott on an attempted screen pass. But Elliott coughed up the ball, and after the pile-on was cleared, Seahawks tackle Justin Britt came up with it. Packers ball, the officials said. Ca...

Did Chip Kelly Outsmart Himself?
The Eagles are 0-2, and although it’s certainly unfair to write off a team after two games, you wouldn’t blame Eagles fans for looking at Chip Kelly with eyebrows raised as high as they’ll go. Is this—a completely dysfunctional squad that can’t be bothered to beat a Cowboys team down Tony Romo and D...

Aaron Rodgers Makes Fun Of Russell Wilson By Crediting God For The Packers' Win
After the Packers’ 27-17 win over the Seahawks last night, Aaron Rodgers gave the credit to God. Which wouldn’t be a thing, normally: athletes do that all the time. Except Rodgers is already on record as believing God doesn’t care about Packers-Seahawks games. This was a shot at Russell Wilson....
![WWE Invaded By Yet Another Idiot On The Field [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
WWE Invaded By Yet Another Idiot On The Field [UPDATE]
Dumbasses trying to make scripted grappling “real to them” have increased their attempts to invade the pro wrestling ring, and one such Idiot made it in as a pretend secret guest on tonight’s WWE pay-per-view (the real secret: Chris Jericho). His reward? The usual: getting sacked by WWE security....

Hot Dog Eats Hot Dog
An Atlanta-area hot dog committed an act of cannibalism at today’s Bark in the Park event at Turner Field. You may remember a different dog at a different Bark in the Park who also wanted a hot dog. Unlike that unfortunate pup, our friend here succeeded. Good for him. ...

Please Do Better, Vikings Fans
One of the most hardest hitting babies in the league was spotted at TCF Bank Stadium today. I mean, if you can afford to take the whole family to an NFL game, you can probably afford to get the kid a new shirsey to go with the Bosworth ‘do. ...

The Royals Got Yordano Ventura With The Old Hoodie Gum Trick
Who did this? This is very rude. ...

Jason Pierre-Paul Vs. The Giants Will Only Get Uglier From Here
Okay, we’ve seen the stump. Now back to the part where Jason Pierre-Paul is still a top-tier free agent with a $14.8 million contract tender to sign, and he and the Giants are going to mats about when he’ll be back....

Kliff Kingsbury Clowns Bret Bielema After Texas Tech Beats Arkansas
It has not been a good year for Arkansas football and Bret Bielema. The Razorbacks came into the season ranked #18, but have since wilted. Bielema made fun of Ohio State for having an easy schedule, then his team went and lost to Toledo, the type of opponent he had just dismissed....

Ole Miss Takes Big Lead On Bama Thanks To Bonkers Touchdown
Ole Miss stormed into Tuscaloosa and took a big early lead when Rebels quarterback Chad Kelly brought down a poor snap that he then mishandled, threw the ball into double coverage, only to find it ricochet into the hands of Quincy Adeboyejo who took it 66 yards for the score....

Texas Linebacker Stricken With Sudden, Timely Bout Of Wefuckedupitis
When in doubt, pretend you’re injured. That’s how Edwin Freeman avoided being caught offside by Cal after the Longhorns linebacker started to head toward the sidelines with the Bears lined up to snap the ball on second-and-goal. Per NCAA rules, Texas burned a timeout for the injury anyway; with the ...