k Page 2541 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cops Arrest Four From 49ers Stadium Parking Lot Fight
Yesterday, the Santa Clara Police Department announced that they had arrested four people, three men and one woman, for felony assault for Monday’s parking lot beating at Levi’s Stadium, where a handful of 49ers fans kicked around a Vikings fan in an Antoine Winfield jersey. ...
Rafael Palmeiro Returns To Professional Baseball, Goes 2-For-4 With An RBI
Ten years after leaving the majors amidst the haze of a steroid suspension, 50-year-old Rafael Palmeiro returned to professional baseball Friday night with the independent Sugar Land Skeeters, where the slugger hit two singles, drove in a run, scored a run, and drew a walk....
The Procrastinator’s Guide To iOS 9
iOS 9 came out this week, and you might want to put it on your phone, or figure out what the hell you get by installing this thing. This is a guide for those who care, but only barely....
A Hot-Pepper IPA For Tasteful Tough Guys
Earlier this week, it was announced that Anheuser-Busch InBev, the Belgo-Brazilian conglomerate that owns Budweiser, Stella Artois, and a great many other beers you hate, is trying to acquire SABMiller, the British and South African concern responsible for all the Miller, Coors, Leinenkugel (it’s tr...
Bear Cub Knows A Hammock's Where It's At
Tom’s on an airplane, but if he were here he’d note that this baby bear struggling with a hammock is different than last week’s baby bears struggling with a hammock, but it’s not weird that there’s two because bears know exactly how to kick back for the start of the weekend....
Alex Ovechkin's Birthday Gift Was A Ship–No, Wait, A <i>Sheep</i>
Alex Ovechkin turned 30 yesterday. While that fact jolts you into realizing your own age, let’s check out what gifts the Capitals captain received:...
<i>Everest </i>Works Best When It Focuses On The Mountain, Not The Feeble Men On It
1. If nothing else, you should see Everest on as big a screen as possible. I was fortunate enough to see it in 3-D on a digital IMAX screen—not the same as the IMAX format, mind you, there’s a difference, but still, you know, big—and I’m glad I did. The most you can hope for from a movie about Mount...
Michael Carter-Williams Threw A Perfect First Pitch If He Was Aiming For The Cameraman
Bucks point guard Michael Carter-Williams threw out the first pitch at Thursday’s Brewers game, and it was accurate, provided that Carter-Williams was trying to hit the cameraman....
ESPN's Matthew Berry Sells Credibility To DraftKings
You know how it’s barely Week 2 of the NFL season and you’re already sick and fucking tired of DraftKings commercials? Well, good luck, because ESPN fantasy writing is now just one long DraftKings commercial too....
Who's Funding Kevin Johnson's Secret Government?
It isn’t hard to see why nothing bad has ever quite touched Kevin Johnson, mayor of Sacramento, Calif., even as he’s authored a long series of lurid sex and corruption scandals, any one of which would have ended the career of a less fortunate man....
The Caucasian's Guide To Black Barbecues
As interracial dating, integration, and cross-cultural friendships increase, many people find themselves attending events in which they are the minority, and have no frame of reference from which to base their etiquette. In an effort to help bridge the cultural gaps we all have to traverse at some p...
Von Miller Isn't Impressed By "Fake Gronk" Travis Kelce
The Kansas City Chiefs are seemingly allergic to throwing to their wide receivers—a true WR still hasn’t caught a touchdown pass since 2013—but Travis Kelce is one of Alex Smith’s favorite targets. The tight end’s size and ability to break tackles is quite similar to Rob Gronkowski, the Gronk Lite t...
Nobody Was Harder On Jamaal Charles Than Jamaal Charles, But Jim Nantz Tried
It takes a lot for a loss to stand out as particularly brutal for a team with a knack for brutal losses. I’d say this—with everything set up for the Chiefs to buck their losing trends against the Broncos and against Peyton Manning, until it was all fumbled away—does nicely....
Richard Sherman And Michael Bennett Are Having A Serious Public Debate On Black Lives Matter
Over the past few days, two Seahawks have publicly offered differing opinions on the Black Lives Matter movement, police brutality, poverty, and a host of related issues. In the usually anodyne world of athlete press conferences, it’s really something....
FIFA Secretary Jérôme Valcke Suspended For Alleged Ticket Selling Racket
Jérôme Valcke, outgoing FIFA president Sepp Blatter’s second-in-command, is currently under investigation by soccer’s governing body concerning allegations that he was involved in a scheme to resell World Cup tickets for grossly inflated prices....
Patrick Kane Holds Disastrous Q&A At Blackhawks Training Camp
Patrick Kane, under investigation for an alleged rape at his house in Hamburg, N.Y. in August, was in attendance for the beginning of Blackhawks training camp today. The winger allowed questions, but didn’t answer anything worth answering....
Stephen A. Smith, Useful Idiot, Connects Weed To The Collapse Of Civilization
Stephen A. Smith, the painfully articulate, misogynistic, Floyd-fluffing TMT roadie, is still employed by ESPN, which means he showed up to work today to say fun, dumb shit very loudly to and with Skip Bayless on First Take. Today’s topic: drugs!...
How To Clean An Extra-Foul Bathroom
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Photos: Jason Pierre-Paul's Right Hand
The New York Daily News published some pretty clear photos of Jason Pierre-Paul’s right hand, which he badly damaged in a fireworks accident in July. To put it nicely, his hand resembles the head of Yoda’s cane. The Giants defensive end is missing a lot of his thumb and index finger, and his middle ...
Tyrod Taylor's Coin-Eating Skills Are Unimpressive
Bills quarterback Tyrod Taylor had a chat with Lindsay Czarniak on ESPN Wednesday night, and as he rattled off fun facts about himself, we all learned that he accidentally ate a quarter when he was a kid. Big deal, I say....