k Page 2546 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How To Hold Elected Office: A Civics Lesson For Meat Suits
Congratulations on your election to public office! Surely this inauspicious-seeming moment marks the beginning of a dramatic rise through the political ranks, a high-minded and principled siege upon the levers of power, a triumph for the little guy, and so on. Before you set off on your journey, tho...

Bill Belichick's Fed Up
After Thursday night’s game, Bill Belichick was asked about the Steelers’ screwy headsets, because any reporter worth their salt would poke and prod the Patriots’ head coach on any remotely odd occurrences during the game. There’s no better time. Belichick was finally forced to say meaningful words ...

What's The Craziest Thing You've Bought While Drunk?
What do an electronic megaphone, a case of Prosecco, and a “Welcome” sign featuring a pensive chocolate lab (pictured above) have in common? They’re all things I’ve purchased while hammered. Now, let us commiserate: Tell us your most outlandish drunk purchase. ...

What Exactly Happened With The Steelers' Headsets?
The Pittsburgh Steelers struggled with communication problems in the first half of their 28-21 loss at New England Thursday night, with their coach-to-coach headset system echoing the Patriots’ radio broadcast for most of the first half. Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin told reporters of the headset ...

DeAndre Jordan Snapchatted Doc Rivers's Son (Not Austin) To Say He Wanted To Return
We know that after agreeing to join the Dallas Mavericks in free agency, DeAndre Jordan had second thoughts and eventually re-signed with the Clippers. What we didn’t know—until now—were the mechanics of how Jordan got back in contact with the Clippers, and they’re even funnier than you could have p...

The NFL Is Back: Welcome To Your Steelers-Patriots Liveblog
The Steelers and Patriots play the first game of the season tonight. Come hang out as we watch meaningful football....

Memphis Undoes Decision To Honor John Calipari After Fans Whine
Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari will be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame this weekend for a career that has, over nearly 30 years, seen his teams advance to six Final Fours (two of them vacated) and win an NCAA title. Before Calipari coached Kentucky, however, he spent nine seasons ...

The NYPD Sting That Wrongly Arrested James Blake Seems Like A Huge Mess
NYPD Commissioner Bill Bratton has personally apologized to James Blake after an officer tackled and roughed up the former tennis pro outside his Manhattan hotel Wednesday, but more details are leaking about the identity theft sting that nabbed the wrong black guy, and it looks like a clusterfuck....

Good Dodgers Fan Flips Off The Whole World
The Dodgers got themselves beat by the Angels last night, losing 3-2 after Kole Calhoun’s eighth-inning double set up the game-winning run. Here is how one Dodgers fan felt about that double:...


Baltimore Cops Have Found A New Enemy: Dirt-Bikers
On North Avenue in the Station North Arts district—a midpoint between East and West Baltimore—a wall is affixed with a wheatpaste image of legendary dirt-biker Wheelie Wayne popping his namesake alongside the words, “Pick up a bike, put down a gun.” It’s popular slogan among the 12 O’Clock Boys, a b...

Chip Kelly Cares About You, Eagles Fans
Chip Kelly’s going to get asked about tempo in practically every interview he accepts. It’s inevitable at this point. During a chat with D. Orlando Ledbetter of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the Eagles head coach used new reasons for why Philadelphia’s offense runs as quickly as it does: Chip’s ...

Richard Gere's Homelessness Drama <i>Time Out Of Mind </i>Will Hit You Hard
1. New York City is obviously the central setting of thousands of movies, and, being New York City, it’s adept at serving as whatever backdrop you want it to serve. It can connote romance or menace, limitless possibility or untold decadence, Candyland or the Hellmouth. But, as someone who lived ther...

Why Is Floyd Mayweather Fighting A Nobody This Weekend?
Throughout most of his career, Elvis Presley was the highest paid performer in show business. He was managed by an old school flim-flam artist called Colonel Tom Parker, who passed himself off as a kind of Southern gentleman even though he was actually a Dutchman named van Kuijk. ...

Jack Johnson Is Fighting For His Contract In Bankruptcy Court
Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman Jack Johnson filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last October, after being scammed out of millions by his parents. Now, he’s attempting to convert his filing into a Chapter 7 case—which, in very broad terms, would allow Johnson to resolve his debts by liquidating his ass...

How To Write A Note For Any Occasion
Writing a thank you note or trying to find the right words to let a friend who just lost his mom know you’re thinking of him is no one’s idea of a good time. But from time to time, most modern men will find themselves in a situation that calls for a handwritten note. ...

Is Notre Dame's President A Liar Or A Fraud?
If it’s been too long since the last time you got teeth-achingly angry over some dipshit’s explanation for why college football players shouldn’t be paid, head on over to The New York Times and read Dan Barry’s conversation with Notre Dame’s president, Rev. John I. Jenkins....

Joey Votto Gets Tossed, Goes Berserk, Has To Be Held Back By Ump
The Reds may be approximately one million games out of the playoffs, but that doesn’t mean Joey Votto is mailing it in. In the middle of an at-bat during the 8th inning of tonight’s game against the Pirates, Votto was unhappy that home plate ump Bill Welke didn’t grant him time and/or made a bad str...


A Layman's Guide To The New iPhones, And Apple's Other New Crap
Earlier today, Apple Inc., a failing novelty-watch interest based in California, announced a new range of products. You can claw through technical explanations of the tick-tock of every little thing, but this is a guide for everything normal people actually need to know....