k Page 2547 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Andrea Bargnani Shoots An Air Ball, Nearly Kills His Coach
Thank God for Andrea Bargnani, the most hilariously inept player in the NBA. Here we are, just one game into the new season, and he’s already blessed us with another fantastic addition to his career lowlight reel....
Rick Ross Did An Adele Remix For Some Reason
Rick Ross heard Adele’s new song “Hello,” and he felt it so hard that he just couldn’t help himself. So he dropped a remix. ...
You Frickin' Blew It, Royals Santa
All right, this is the moment! I’ve been hangin’ out here alllll night, sweatin’ bullets in my blue Santa outfit, and now I’m about to get on TV! Here comes the reporter! Okay, just gonna play it cool. Gonna be real chill. Gotta remember not to curse, though!...
How To Deliver A Devastating Elbow Strike, According To An Ex-Navy SEAL
Retired Navy SEAL Clint Emerson conducted special ops all over the world for 20 years, attached to the NSA and the now-famous SEAL Team Six. He learned some highly specialized skills along the way, and he’s now collected them into a fast-paced, pocket-guide entitled 100 Deadly Skills: The SEAL Opera...
The Royals Don't Miss
If you’re looking for one stat that neatly explains the Royals’ Game 2 victory over the Mets, it’s this one: Out of the 94 pitches Mets ace Jacob deGrom threw in his five innings, the Royals only swung and missed at three of them....
A Guide To Cleaning Every Possible Halloween Mess (Including Fake Blood)
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
GM Alex Anthopoulos Shockingly Leaves The Blue Jays, Who Might Be Getting Cheap
GM Alex Anthopoulos, under whose six-year tenure the Blue Jays emerged as one of the best teams in the AL, will not return to Toronto, reportedly over philosophical disagreements over how he built a winner, and concerns that his power over baseball operations would be severely curtailed under a new ...
Old Man Kobe And The Young Lakers Are Fun As Hell
Kobe Bryant, who is older than hell, crankier than hell, and shackled to a misshapen Lakers team, looked better than he has in years tonight as his Lakers fell to the Timberwolves at home 112-111. This game was stuffed full of cool shit: the two teams’ tribute to the recently passed Flip Saunders; N...
Johnny Cueto Was Tremendous Tonight
Johnny Cueto’s postseason form has oscillated between extremes. He shut down the Astros to take the Royals into the ALCS, giving up two runs in eight innings, then reversed those stats and gave up eight in two to the Blue Jays in his next start. The key difference was that Cueto’s dominant start, wh...
Coming Soon To Seattle-Area High School Football: Satanic Invocations (UPDATE)
The legal position on prayer in public school in America is, generally, settled. Across decades of cases, the Supreme Court has held that religion may not be included in school-sponsored activities, but that students may independently gather for religious purposes. But a high school football coach i...
There Are No Innocent Black People
Monday afternoon, video emerged of a white man approaching a small, black girl sitting in a classroom, noosing a thick arm around her neck, slamming her to the ground while she was still entangled in her desk, picking her up again, throwing her some distance across the room, and then again pinning h...
Sammy Watkins Is Sorry For Calling His Detractors Losers
Bills wide receiver Sammy Watkins is injured, which means it’s time for unbalanced fans to go on Instagram and yell at him for not being tough and strong enough to play. Watkins got fed up with those comments this morning, and posted the now-deleted screed above to his Instagram account....
"Baked Sausage Meat Ring" Is Much Better Than It Sounds (Or Looks)
The Woe of Cooking is an ongoing fiasco where the guy who does the Beer Idiot unearths the weirdest, grossest recipes he can find in The Joy of Cooking, and cooks/eats them. It has been awhile; we missed you. ...
Carlos Boozer Finally Explains His Sprayed-On Hair
Carlos Boozer has had a long and successful NBA career, but if there’s one thing he’s always going to be remembered for, it’s the night he played in a nationally televised game with what looked like an entire can of shoe polish smeared all over his dome. On yesterday’s episode of Highly Questionable...
How To Make New Friends As An Adult, And Why
When I was growing up, my best friends were simply the ones most available to me. That’s true for most of us, probably—even if we don’t realize it at the time. My next-door neighbor Miranda was my closest childhood confidant: She was the cooler, older girl who pretended to be witches with me when we...
Minnesota Head Coach Jerry Kill Announces Retirement At Emotional Press Conference
Minnesota head football coach Jerry Kill announced his retirement this morning, a decision he made due to lingering health issues. Kill, a survivor of kidney cancer, has been dealing with seizures for the last few years, and they have finally become too much for him to deal with while also coaching....
The Political Satire <i>Our Brand Is Crisis </i>Isn't Nearly As Sharp As It Pretends To Be
Our Brand Is Crisis means to cast a harsh light on presidential campaigns, but it mostly just panders. The new film from director David Gordon Green (who’s done everything from George Washington to Pineapple Express) spends way too much time congratulating you for agreeing with its cynical perspecti...
Important Steph Curry Update: He's Still Extremely Good
Hey, you, person who was up way too late watching the World Series and totally missed out on the Golden State Warriors’ season opener against the New Orleans Pelicans. You missed some good shit, buddy. Click play on the video above and look at all the good shit you missed....