k Page 2603 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
MLS Invents New Rule To Help Big-Market Teams
Traversing MLS’s ever-shifting labyrinth of player transaction rules has always been nigh-impossible. And somehow or other, now the league has sprouted yet another alleyway to get lost in. Luckily, no matter how winding the path is, you always wind up in the same place: whatever’s best for the big-c...
A Sure-Why-Not Theory Explains Why The Mavs Might Lose DeAndre Jordan
DeAndre Jordan was all set to become a Dallas Maverick last week, but now he might be staying in Los Angeles after all, and everyone is wondering what the hell happened. Well, good news! We just received an illustrated theory from a tipster that lays out a very compelling case for how the Clippers g...
The DeAndre Jordan Standoff Will Be Won With Emoji
DeAndre Jordan’s having second thoughts about where he wants to sign, so now the Mavericks and Clippers are standing at either side of him, clapping and telling him to walk to them. Dallas thought it had an agreement with Jordan, but now the Clippers are making a desperate second effort. The Maveric...
What's Going On With Jason Pierre-Paul?
We still have absolutely no idea if Jason Pierre-Paul will be ready to start the season, or if he had his blown-up hand awkwardly replaced by a tiny doll hand. The Giants don’t seem to know either, oddly: after three unsuccessful days trying to visit their DE in a Miami hospital, they’ve returned to...
21 Session IPAs, Ranked
Craft-beer enthusiasts like to argue, complain, and explain. I wonder if there’s any demographic commonality behind this exhausting pattern of behavior. Someone should look into whether perhaps a lot of them have graduate degrees, alcohol problems, and pale-colored penises, for instance. Or maybe th...
Report: The Clippers Are Trying To Win Back DeAndre Jordan
Apparently convinced that their offseason wasn’t already embarrassing enough, the Clippers are now trying to convince DeAndre Jordan, who has already agreed to sign with the Mavericks, to go back on his deal with Dallas before it becomes official and stay in L.A. Or so says ESPN’s Marc Stein:...
J.J. Redick Would Like To Give The Clippers An "F-Minus" In Free Agency
It’s been a rough week for the Clippers, who lost star center DeAndre Jordan to the Mavericks—in part because Chris Paul might be a nightmare to play with, and in part because Jordan sees L.A.’s long term-viability is in doubt....
![Report: Buccaneers Player Injured Hand In Fireworks Accident [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1331912445180490638.jpg)
Report: Buccaneers Player Injured Hand In Fireworks Accident [Updates]
Giants defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul might not have been the only NFL player to hurt himself with fireworks over the holiday weekend. Roy Cummings of the Tampa Tribune says Buccaneers cornerback C.J. Wilson injured his hand in a fireworks accident on July 4th....
My Dad's Terrible Child-Care Activities, Ranked
School is out. What the hell are we going to do with these kids? Camps cost a fortune. Sports leagues are a pain in the ass. And who wants to stare at another listless, self-aware gorilla at the zoo? What a downer!...
Reaction To A Free Agent Signing, From Someone Who Attends Nets Games
As a corrective to the bullshit Knicks, the Nets had exactly one or two things going for them. Now they have one fewer. ...
This Blackhawks Flipbook Is Neat
Via Puck Daddy, a flipbook of the Blackhawks’ Cup-clinching Game 6....
Vince McMahon’s Rules For WWE Announcers Allegedly Leaked
Over on Squared Circle, the subreddit for professional wrestling, a user has posted eight pages of what purports to be instructions and rules given to WWE announcers a few years ago about everything from how they should dress to specific phrases they should avoid. You can view the notes in the imgur...
LeBron, Wade, And CP3 Are Riding Around The Bahamas On A Banana Boat
Here is a photo, taken from Dwyane Wade’s Instagram, of Wade, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul, and LeBron James drinking some fine wine together in the Bahamas. My two questions: would you wear a t-shirt with your own nickname on it, and is Carmelo a bit faded?...
It Takes A Village To Secure An Infield Rain Tarp
The grounds crew at New Three Rivers Stadium was handed a nearly impossible mission Tuesday night, tasked with unfurling the rain tarp in the face of pounding rain and gusting wind. As you can see, one unfortunate soul almost paid the ultimate price, as the tarp demon did its best to take him to bas...
The "Smells Like Teen Spirit" Shovel Is The Only Thing That Matters
I spent a good 20 minutes struggling to come up with a headline for this post, not because what happens in this video is hard to describe, but because once you’ve seen the “Smells Like Teen Spirit” Shovel do its thing—once you’ve banged the “play” button for the 32nd time and allowed the shovel’s mi...
Movies About Male Strippers, Ranked
If there’s one thing that makes me sad for heterosexual men, it’s that so many of them haven’t seen Magic Mike. They assumed they’d be in for nonstop tight close-ups of Spandex-packaged junk, exposure to unrealistically chiseled and waxed male bodies, and barely plotted sexploitation aimed at the ga...
Donovan McNabb Issues Baffling Statement About DUI Arrest
Earlier today, we reported that former NFL quarterback and current Fox Sports analyst Donovan McNabb was recently arrested for DUI, his second such arrest in the last two years. On his radio show today, McNabb had this to say about his arrest:...
Report: Marshawn Lynch's Biopic Won't Be Released Because It's So Bad
The internet was treated in February to roughly four minutes of sloppily edited footage featuring Marshawn Lynch for what appeared to be a biopic based on the Seahawks running back. (Watch it here.) Those four minutes are apparently all the public will get, because Family First is reportedly never s...
Small Child Dunks, Gloats, Gets Owned So Hard
Make sure your speakers are on, because the audio here really is something special:...
Donovan McNabb Arrested For DUI After Traffic Accident
Former NFL quarterback Donovan McNabb was arrested for DUI just before midnight on June 28 after rear-ending another car at a stoplight in Gilbert, Ariz., according to a statement from the Gilbert Police Department....